Tuesday, December 29, 2009

This is who I am....

Lately I've been getting to know the child in me a little better.  Or maybe I should say I've been allowing myself to express my inner child more outwardly lately.

I have always felt like a kid in an adult body.  I love to sing, dance, move, laugh, color, create and dream!  I love toys and bright colors, I love children and listening to their thoughts and sharing moments with them.  And I have also always criticized myself for that. 

I think one reason we criticize or deny our inner child is that we were all kind of raised to believe that children should be seen and not heard and so when we are indulging our inner child we feel ashamed and embarrassed by it.

Each one of us has something about us that makes us appealing to the world around us and yet we constantly criticize ourselves for allowing our authenticity to light up the world.

I enjoy the innocence of my inner child.  I enjoy her laughter and her free flowing spirit.  She is healthy and strong and she deserves to be seen AND heard.

I have recently decided to start a group for grown ups that wish to re-connect to their inner child.  My intention is to have a variety of creative and simply play activities available for those who attend and for us to be able to have simple conversation about how it feels to let go of our inhibitions for a couple of hours and indulge in "play therapy".

Thinking about this workshop makes me giggle.  It proves to my inner child that she is important to me and that I am interested in opening other people up to allowing their inner child to express themselves as well.

Do you know what your "special" quality is that makes you someone people want to be with?

Sometimes our most special quality is the thing we discriminate against the most within ourselves.  But that quality that you think is embarrassing or unnecessary matters to everyone around you, it is most likely the quality that attracts certain people to you in the first place.

Personally, I think becoming aware of these qualities within ourselves and taking ownership for them brings us tremendous power, a feeling of relief in knowing that this is who we are.

Instead of fighting against your innate abilities, your gifts and tools of the trade; embrace them, appreciate them and acknowledge the courage it takes to do so.


Saturday, December 26, 2009

Internal GPS

As the Christmas season settles down and you are sitting back in your chair taking a much needed deep breath and relaxing, I want you to take inventory of how you are feeling in this moment.

Because all we really have is this moment.  Nothing else.  We have not been guaranteed more moments than the one we are currently experiencing.

Focus your attention on your thoughts.  What are you thinking about right now?  Happiness, Joy, Gratitude, Money, Disappointment, Resentment, Hurt, Anger?

Focus your attention on your face, shoulders and stomach.  How are these places feeling right now?  Calm, Soothed, Soft, Tense, Chaotic?

And now focus on your legs and feet.  Are they in any pain?  Are they relaxed and enjoying this peaceful moment you are taking for yourself?

And now how are your emotions?  This will be your biggest indicator of how you have handled the holidays.

Our emotions are our personal GPS systems that tell us each moment of every day whether we are headed in the right direction or going the wrong way down a one way street.

You will experience feelings of panic and anxiety if you are going the wrong way.  You will feel unsettled in every part of your body and it will not feel good if the direction you are going is taking you to a place of more discord.

If what you are looking for in 2010 is a better year than the one you just had, more energy, prosperity and happiness.  The first step you need to take is to establish an intimate connection with your emotions.

We are constantly negating our emotions.  If we are feeling anxious we push through to the other side no matter how much your stomach is turning.  When we are feeling uncomfortable and unsure we ignore those warnings and move forward anyway, most times only to find out that where we were headed wasn't all that desirable to begin with.  What about your sadness?  What do you do with that?  Heck, we even ignore moments of extreme happiness.  It passes us by so quickly and we forget to stop for a second and enjoy the moment.

Can you imagine yourself taking emotional inventory throughout your day?  Where do you think that would take you?  What do you think would happen if you took stock of your emotions when you wake up?  Perhaps you didn't sleep well and you woke up a little grumpy, knowing this in advance of interaction with others puts you at an advantage, because it is only when you are aware of your emotional set point for the day that you can then do anything about it.

When we ignore our emotions we are ignoring our internal GPS system.  I know all of you out there with a GPS in your vehicle wouldn't think of ignoring it while you were taking a trip where the destination was unknown to you.  Life is a journey where the destination is unknown and yet we are quick to ignore the little voice that tells us "you are headed in the wrong direction".

Just for today, take note of every emotion you are experiencing.  And pick one emotion that you will consciously decide to acknowledge and act upon.  Doing this will reactivate that intimate connection that I was talking about.  Your body will respond to that precious acknowledgment in a very beautiful way.  Take notice of that as well, take notice of the muscles relaxing and the stress fading from your mind & body.

Just for today.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Refuse to give up

When I reflect on this past year, I would have to say that this could possibly have been this year's motto.

My brother completed suicide in March, I systematically removed myself from dealings with my mother and sister because of a conflict in perceptions regarding my brothers' death, I endured nasty phone calls and emails and facebook musings because of this.  My husband and I were on the edge of separation and we dealt with my teenage son's threat of suicide as well.  There were other little disappointments thrown in as well but nothing unmanageable.

Through out the year I wondered how I was going to get through all of this.  There were many moments when I could have easily given up.  I can't count how many times I would announce to the Universe that I was throwing my hands in the air, that I was ready to toss my beliefs into the pit, give up the fight and join the craziness of those I was fighting against!

But I never did give up, because in those moments something would happen to me.  I can't explain it really, but a feeling would come over me and I would know instantly that if I did that, if I gave up, that I was losing out on the most profound experience of personal growth in my life.  With that knowledge in hand how could I possibly throw in the towel?

By sticking to it, by standing my ground and holding firm to my beliefs I grew into someone strong and courageous.  I know this to be true, not by looking in the mirror.  I don't see the change there.  I see the change in the people who surround me now, the people who surround me and who are in my life at this moment are the strongest, most caring and supportive people I have ever known.  They have lived a life like I have and they have refused to give up!  The people who surround you are a direct reflection of yourself.

Refusing to give your power over to someone or something is one of the most noble acts in this life.  Maintaining your strength and power in the chaos of this world is by far the hardest thing you may ever do.

But make no mistake it will also be the greatest gift that you give yourself and the people around you.

I know we have all hit a wall or two this year.  And although this year has been challenging, I'm sure you would all agree that it has been full of amazingly inspiring and uplifting moments as well. 

I learned so much throughout 2009 about myself, about other people, about forgiveness and the power of awareness.  I would not give up this year for anything in the world.

It was the year I shined!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Happy Solstice Everyone!

Today is the Winter Solstice....  Can you feel it?

I can.

I feel like I am on an energy high!  I feel the giggles bubbling up now and again out of nowhere.  And I feel totally and completely free of any worry or tension.

It's a blissful place to be and I hope it will stay for days and days.  I would love to have this feeling everyday!

I found myself experiencing some weird energetic symptoms in the days approaching the solstice.  I was feeling spacey and disoriented, not able to find my vehicle in the parking lot and not being able to put names to faces at a party I attended.  A really weird feeling of disconnection to all that I was doing.

I also had some things happening with my vision.  For instance, while driving home from doing some Christmas shopping I had to pull over momentarily because the energy that was swirling around in front of me was so distracting I couldn't concentrate on the road ahead of me.  It started as small swirls then grew into bigger swirls and bubbles of white, purple and turquoise that kept swirling and bubbling in my vision.

My dreams have been quite spectacular also.

All of these things can be attributed to the solstice.  The solstice marks a new beginning, a rebirth.  It's an exciting time and if we all pay closer attention we can see how it is affecting us on an energetic, emotional & physical level.

When we approach a solstice; things may feel a little uncomfortable, like something is just not quite right somehow, but as we move through it we begin to feel more connected to our higher self, we feel grounded, alert and ready to take action in our lives. 

Whether we are aware or not, we are changing vibrationally with every solstice, with every full moon, with every new moon, with every new beginning and end in the Universe.  These are all guide posts to our energetic evolution.  Each one carrying a vibrational pattern that affects our own unique vibration, encouraging us to grow and move forward. 

This is a seriously exciting time.  Something many of us have been waiting patiently (or impatiently if you are like me) for.  A time of renewal, of finally stepping into our "God" given power.

It doesn't stop at adults.  Children and pets feel the changes in the energy more so than adults sometimes.  They are much more sensitive and aware.  Pets will behave uncharacteristically and children will be full of energy, excitement and uncontrollable laughter!  My own children have been full of the giggles and are totally uncontrollable with their emotional outbursts the last couple of days.  I have heard of some people's pets suddenly behaving wildly. 

If you've never before thought about how the solstice affects you, I encourage you to google it.  Google "energy symptoms of solstice" or something of that nature.  You may just find exactly the answers to why you have been feeling the way you have been feeling the last little while.

Happy Solstice to you!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Just the way I am

Something interesting happened to me yesterday.  I fell in love with myself!

This may sound kind of funny.  To some people it may sound selfish or arrogant.  But it's true and it feels really good feeling this way.

It probably wouldn't be such a big deal to finally fall in love with ME if it wasn't for the fact that my entire life I haven't really been comfortable with who I am, sure sometimes there were glimmers of "like" thrown in, but nothing like this.  I have always struggled with feeling unworthy of others love and affection. 

There are times in my life when I feel absolutely "in my zone".  Reiki is that time for me.  Also, when I'm experiencing or learning something new.  It's during these times that I feel completely on task and on purpose. 

But there have been many other times when I feel lonely, isolated, unworthy, unloved and invisible to the world.  Am I destined to just muddle through life?  Or is there another reason why I am the way I am?

Why do I feel uncomfortable working in a mainstream job?  Why do I behave the way I do around certain people?  Why do I network the way I do?  Why do I procrastinate to the point that it debilitates my business?  Why do I always feel like I need to prove myself to everyone?  Why do I seem to always travel the bumpiest paths?  Why do I feel unworthy of financial abundance?  Why am I comfortable living the life of a hermit?  Why do I feel guilty when I indulge in something that makes me feel good?  Why is it when I stop going to the gym and taking care of my body my life seems to stop moving? Why is it that I can't be happy just settling with one thing in life, why do I constantly seek something to learn and experience?  The list of why's goes on and on.

These questions and more were all answered for me yesterday when I took part in a hand analysis session with Rosemary Heenan of Heart Power Coaching.

Our hands contain each and every aspect about ourselves.  They are like our own personal road maps.  Each detail intricately woven into our fingers and palms.  Some things I learned we have the power to change, certain lines on our hands can change if we make enough changes to our lives.  For instance I have what's called a grid on my left hand that indicates starts and stops with regards to business/career and that makes sense because of my procrastination issues, but I wasn't born with that grid, I created it myself and I can remove it from my hand print if I choose to do so.

As I had my hand & finger prints analyzed and explained to me I quickly realized that my entire life has been exactly the way it has had to be.  Each characteristic of myself is who I really am.  I have spent years apologizing to people for being me.  Not that they needed an apology but I always felt like I wasn't good enough, that my strengths were my weaknesses.  Now I see that my strengths are my gifts and that there is nothing weak about me!

I also see that the lessons that were mapped out on my hand have been lovingly played out for the 37 years of my life.  Each person and experience has been placed in my life to shine a light on my purpose and my lessons to be learned.

Fascinating doesn't begin to describe this process.

I felt a great burden lift off of me yesterday.  There are so many things that I have been denying myself out of guilt, fear and lack of money all these years.  These are the very things though that my soul needs in order to fully evolve and be healthy!  Take for instance the fact that I have decided not to attend the gym for the past 4 weeks now because of lack of money for gas.  Our financial situation hasn't changed, I just decided this was a good move to "save" us some money (I seem to always worry about money), since I didn't need to go to the gym anyway.  I can see clearly that my life changed when I made that decision, and with each thought of putting the membership on hold to save even more money things seemed to get worse.  What I found out through my hand analysis is that self love is right at the top of my list when it comes to what my soul needs in order to survive.  Going to the gym translates into love of self and therefore opens me up to receiving abundance from the Universe because I am loving myself.  I can feel that this is my soul's truth, the information resonated within me and filled me up with the wisdom that when I make this slight change and honor my bodies needs I will once again be on track.

I feel as though I've been given permission to love myself!  To accept who I am on every level and be that person that I've been denying all these years.  The freedom of this knowledge is life giving!

We all know what our purpose is, it can be seen in our every day tasks that we love, it can be heard in small whispers if we are listening and everything Rosemary told me I already knew and had already been addressing in my life but the confirmation of the whole story is what made this experience something I will never forget.

And there was something else about this experience.  Making a print of my hand and then looking at it in black and white was awe inspiring!  We don't see the details in our hands when we look with our eyes, but when you see it in black and white the image that is in front of you is a work of art!  Our hand prints are a true divine work of art!  And if our hand prints are a divine work of art and hold all the information about who we are.....then doesn't that make US a divine work of art also?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Living within your vortex

Last Saturday when I attended the Intuitive Art Workshop with Maggie McLeod, my last piece of art included a big colorful vortex (looks like a tornado) right in the center of the page, with bright yellow and white drawn down the center.

I had some knowledge of vortex's prior to this but wasn't sure why one was showing up on my art.  Maggie pointed out to me that Abraham Hicks speaks at great length about vortex's and maybe that would help me to realize why it was showing up for me.

So I went YOUtubing : )

I found a ton of information about vortex's and what it means to live within your vortex. 

There is a stillness inside of our vortex.  A place where we can connect with our true selves on the deepest level.

One thing that struck me about one of the Abraham Hicks videos was the one about praying and it made so much sense to me.  He spoke about how we pray.  Most of the time we are praying for things, money, success, love, patience, direction, guidance, the list goes on.  As much as our intentions are good, we are in effect praying outside of our vortex, those prayers are heard and answered but they rarely have the same effect on our lives when we receive what we are asking for as praying inside of our vortex gives us.  When we pray inside of our vortex we pray more in appreciation of the things that we already have, we ask for blessings for everyone on this beautiful planet, the good and the bad.  Everyone is equal when we are inside of our vortex. 

I know that I have quite often prayed outside of my vortex.  My prayers would begin with thoughts of what I don't have and then I would continue on with the long list of things that I felt would make my life better in some way.  I rarely included anyone outside of my circle of connections in my prayers.  Once in a while I threw in a "Thank you for all that I have" but that seemed to be a rare occasion.

After watching the Abraham video on praying I realized how far off track I was in my connection to my divine creator and to living within my vortex.  I seemed to be good at staying peaceful, calm and loving when I felt like it or when I was surrounded by people I wanted to be that way with, it was fleeting and it felt like a job.  It took a lot of energy for me to be in that place that wasn't genuine.  I was lying to myself about the person I was and so found it hard to accept compliments on my behaviour because somewhere inside of myself I knew I wasn't "living in my vortex" and I rarely let anyone see me with my guard down.  It felt like I was living a lie.

I see "praying" inside the vortex and "living" inside the vortex as being one in the same.  There is a place within me that believes that all we do in our lives is a prayer.  The thoughts and actions we put into anything converts into a request to the Universe and so is essentially prayer although we aren't aware of it.

I had an experience yesterday.  My purse was stolen out of my unlocked vehicle while I volunteered at a Christmas Pasta Lunch for a local school.  I entered my vehicle expecting to pick my keys out of my purse and carry on my merry way, but my purse wasn't there.

Earlier in the day other people volunteering were notified that there was someone in the parking lot checking car doors and so they all went out to check their vehicles.  I wasn't present for the warning and so was the lucky winner of the draw to have her purse stolen.  Thankfully it wasn't much more than a slight inconvenience to cancel vital documents and have them replaced.  The biggest loss I think is the purse itself, it was a gift from my family for my last birthday.

What I found fascinating about this experience was my reaction, or rather the LACK of reaction I had to having my purse taken.  I knew I had left the door unlocked so that made it fair game, I didn't feel violated or angry just inconvenienced.  I actually felt sad for the person who took it.  Thinking of what it would be like to live a life tethered to your addiction and having to steal to maintain it.

This incident showed me how much I was living inside of my vortex that day.  It was a total confirmation about how when you are living inside of your vortex material things aren't the priority, there is no sense of violation because you are aware that there is a higher purpose for everything in your life.  I knew in that moment that something bigger was at play and that the purpose would be revealed to me if it was meant to be revealed and that all I need to do was trust in the process.

It was a really cool feeling.  I didn't stress out, I didn't cry or get angry.  I was calm and at peace and so my body wasn't compromised by an extreme emotional circumstance, I was able to maintain balance throughout the whole thing.  I was even laughing at the situation.  The poor guy got away with a purse (not brand name) with no cash at all in it, a maxed out credit card and a debit card attached to a bank account that is most likely in overdraft at the moment.  The cell phone is 2 years old, weathered, worn and dead.  He did not benefit at all from this experience except that last night as I laid in bed I said a prayer for his safety and well-being.  In that way he might have received his greatest reward.  I imagine not many people in his life pray for his well-being.

So maybe the vortex in my art work symbolizes that I am living within my vortex more now then I ever have? 


If you'd like more information about how to start living within your vortex I would love to guide you there : )

Monday, December 7, 2009

Death perception

Let's shift your death perception shall we?

Death is a 3D illusion.

I know this to be true because we are all energetic beings.  Made from pure divine energy and energy is never ending.  It is a continuous flow and cannot be destroyed.

Of course we feel the loss of our loved ones physical presence in our life, but they are not truly "dead".  They have simply transitioned to a higher state of being and moved from this dense earthly plane to a higher, lighter less restricted plane.

Some very key people in my life have transitioned this year.  My brother, my first employer, a close friend from the past, as well as many others.  With each death I find myself adventuring into my emotions about the event.  What is it that makes me sad, angry, regreful?  Is it that the person had to experience "death" or am I sad that I didn't?  I certainly feel sadness for the family, they must now begin living without the physical presence of their loved one.  Their smiles and laughter, their guidance and direction, their voice.  But ultimately I believe that our souls mourn because we are still here, we have been left behind and well....that sucks!

At the soul level we are all very much aware of the oneness of the energy that brings our bodies into physical reality, aware of how life on earth is painful; and aware that there is a more pleasant and peaceful reality beyond living on this planet.  Knowing that this life is not permanent and that there is a much better place ahead is calming to the soul.  But for some reason it is a cause for anxiety and panic in our physical consciousness.  A lot of people fear the end of their life, they believe that they will miss their loved ones, that they will be left in between worlds and alone, they believe that they will be punished at the pearly gates.

I've read many books that contradict each other on the topic of what happens after you die, I've watched many tv shows about ghosts and crossing over, I've also watched a few scary movies that depict the dead as zombies and the like.  These serve to confuse the heck out of us.  They fuel the fear of death programming we've been subjected to.  They play with our minds and make us believe that "death" is a very bad thing and that we must fear it until....well....the day we "die".

The transition we call death is just that, a transition into another state.  Our energy is transmuted into another form.  Not the physical form we are used to, but something we deny because we haven't seen it.  (The brain only knows what it knows and doesn't know what it can't see)

Loved ones who transition should be celebrated, not mourned.  They have successfully completed their time here on earth and have graduated to a higher "grade" so to speak.

Although, I don't think most of us are ready for the dialogue that goes like this:
"Old Joe passed away in his sleep last night"
"That's fantastic, way to go Joe!".

But one day we will be.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A Soul-full experience

I have always liked painting and creating, but never felt like I was very good at it.  As a young girl I would spend lots of time with my cousin and her husband, and the first thing we would do upon my arrival is visit the local ceramic store, pick up a few pieces and spend most of our time painting during our visit.

I cherished these pieces, I think my mom still may have one of them and I don't know where the others have gone.  But, I do still have a few Christmas ornaments for the tree that I painted myself as a girl.  It's really neat to unpack them and remember the fun I had while I painted.

On Saturday I was reminded of that fun, that childlike innocence that peeks through when I am given an opportunity to create (good at it or not).

I attended an Intuitive Art Workshop with Maggie McLeod and was taught how to clear my mind and allow the message and visions to flow, then transfer them onto paper.  I was so nervous about this for many reasons.  One being my own judgement of my abilities.  I usually try too hard when I sit down to paint and therefore have a hard time allowing the information to flow, then I am scared to share what I created because it doesn't feel good to me (mostly because I forced it onto the paper).  I was also nervous that someone would tell me how much my artwork stank...

These fears of course were unfounded as I quickly realized that most of us in the room were having the same issues, our insecurities were running rampant and we were all a little wary of how this day was going to turn out and what we would gain from it.  We were all supportive of each other and I soon recognized that this day was a big part of our journey and it was a step that must be taken.

I surprised myself by creating 3 very unique and interesting pieces (2 are pictured, the 3rd didn't photograph so well).  The message from my soul was clearly mapped out in my artwork.

We all marveled at each other's artwork, each of us had a distinct style and even if you didn't know who did the art you knew which 3 belonged together, our styles were very clear and the artwork of our souls was marvelous!

I am so grateful to have had this experience, it has unlocked a part of me that has been sleeping and I just simply cannot wait to delve deeper into my subconscious to pull out more art from my soul.

The process was easy; I cleared my mind, took some deep breaths, randomly picked up a color and let my hand do what it needed to do.  It was an addictive process also and found it hard to stop drawing when our time had ended.

So, all of these years I thought I wasn't talented, that I wasn't worthy of being a creative person and that I was destined to be completely blocked when it came to artful expression.  I was completely wrong!  I am talented, worthy and creatively UNblocked!  It's an amazingly liberating feeling to put pencil to paper and just allow your soul to draw and create.

I encourage everyone to give it a try.  Don't pre-judge or TRY too hard when you are sitting down to be creative, let the ideas and images flow easily and lovingly.  Then sit back and enjoy the creation of your soul.

Friday, December 4, 2009

If you love someone.......

An interesting thought has come to mind this morning that I thought I'd share.

When we are fully engaged in a relationship, whether it is spouse, friend or family member; do we fully appreciate, understand and know the other person?  Do we truly connect with the gift that they are in our lives to provide?

I've had this happen so many times in my life and I'm just wondering why it happens.  You have a relationship and it goes along nicely and sometimes gradually or abruptly the relationship comes to an end (this part I get, it's a natural part of evolution).  When the end is near one of two things may happen.  Either we part silently, each of us understanding and accepting that our time together has come to an end or (and here is the part I'm not totally sure about) there is a need for closure by either one of us, there are words, accusations and blame exchanged or some sort of resistance to departure that takes place (I know some people who have been stalked after ending a relationship).

In all of the instances when I have experienced the latter I am always surprised at the things that are said to me, that make me think and feel like that person never truly understood who I was in the first place.  It is hurtful in the beginning until I take the time to understand why it took place the way it did.

One could argue that perhaps we don't share our whole selves with them and there wasn't an opportunity for them to truly get to know us.  That's a possibility.  But if you are someone who shares your whole heart with someone, is able and willing to help when necessary in any capacity that is required and is available to the other person when they are in need of a listening ear or comforting hug then how can they be so accusatory when the relationship ends?

We've all been here.  We've all been in relationships that simply did not meet our requirements any longer, some actually become toxic and smothering.  I'm sure we've also all been accused of being someone we are not even when we've given our absolute best selves to these people.

Ultimately, I think it comes down to fear.  They know in their hearts the kind of person you are and how much their life has benefited from you being a part of it.  When that relationship comes to an end I believe that it is our overwhelming fear of never finding that in a relationship again that makes us engage in behaviour that is less than desirable.  There is a need to hurt the other person as badly as they have hurt us.

Of course every situation is different, but I believe that one thing remains the same.  If there is a need to end a relationship then it is because the relationship no longer serves the highest purpose of the people involved.  You cannot stay in a relationship hoping to save someone from themselves, you cannot stay in a relationship hoping to change someone and you cannot stay in a relationship out of obligation.  Staying in a relationship where you do not belong is toxic to you and it hinders the growth of the other person.  They will not be able to move forward in their life lessons if you are still attached to them.

It's like that saying "If you love someone let them go". 

People grow and evolve sometimes at lightning speed, the person you are today is not the person (hopefully) you will be in 6 months and so how can your relationships stay the same unless you have friends who are moving at exactly the same pace that you are  This is extremely rare by the way!

I have had friends leave my life, only to find that 2 or more years down the road there they are again, but we are different, something has changed in us so that we can once again bless each other's lives with our presence. You know that all is in perfect order when that happens and you can allow yourself to get to know this person again as they are now, not as they were then.

May you be blessed with loving friends and family, and my you also be blessed with the knowledge that we are not each other's keepers and the greatest gift you can give is to be open to moving with the flow of life and allowing people to come and go as they please without holding resentment and anger towards them for doing so.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The process of healing & transforming

The state that your body is in, in this exact moment is the direct result of your past thoughts, actions and words.

The majority of the people in this world are walking around carrying extra weight, eating the wrong foods, thinking they are unworthy and telling people how sick they are?  This is just one of the many recipes that create a physical body that is not in alignment and therefore will manifest pain, illness and disease.
I've said it before and I'll say it again:  Whatever your situation is at the moment.  You have the power to change it.  In this moment you can change your weight issues, relationship issues, health and money issues.  Although, the process of healing & transforming is sometimes not an easy one, it is well worth all of the effort you put into it. 

I recently experienced a situation that brought my consciousness back to the time when I was 3 or 4 years old.  I felt powerless, alone, invisible and violated.  I was having a hard time figuring out why this was coming up all of a sudden and having an even more difficult time wondering why I was feeling like I didn't fit in, in the adult world.  As I was talking to a good friend of mine about processing and releasing past traumas, I had a visual of a time when I was around 3 or 4 that triggered these same feelings.  These feelings had begun to manifest as a pain in my wrist, (wrist issues tend to relate to the ease of forward movement in life).  I was able to acknowledge what had happened and change the situation in my mind to involve a scenerio that helped those feelings to transmute into safety, security and love.  All from the simple acceptance of a vision.  And this morning the pain in my wrist is gone.

I am a firm believer in awareness.  I believe that once the conscious mind becomes aware and accepts the root cause of our current emotional state then we immediately begin the process of healing & transforming ourselves.  The body wants to naturally heal itself, but it needs the minds cooperation of course.  If your mind has become aware of an issue and your body begins the process of healing and then your mind decides "no, this is too painful to allow myself to look at it" the body will begin to regress, back and forth this process goes until pain and illness are the result.  You are allowing your past to control your present.

Not many of us realize that the way we react to situations is the direct result of a past experience.  The cells in our body carry all of the memories of our past experiences around with us until we consciously make the decision to release or change the memory.  And so in each and every moment of each and every day, you have the ability to become consciously aware of the moment you are in, recognize where the emotion, reaction, thought is coming from and release it.

For example, the ideals we were raised with regarding money directly affect our financial situation today.   How many of us grew up in families who believed that people with money were better than everyone else, or that money was the root of all evil?  If you had a well to do aunt or uncle or cousin how did your family perceive them?  What was the collective ideal about money?  Was it a mentality of abundance or lack?  Did you hear your parents say things like "we can't afford it" "money doesn't grow on trees".  All of these things shape your belief about money and so that same belief is living inside of you and every time you think about  money or see someone with lots of money you get that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach  and up creeps that belief that was put in place about money.

This information can change your perception and awareness of your life if you allow it to. 

There is equal potential for all of us to be affected by our past.  There is also equal potential for each of us to improve our lives through awareness.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

If I had my way......

If I had my way.  Christmas would be about the birth of Christ.  Not about how much time, money and effort we spent finding the perfect gift for someone.

If I had my way.  Christmas music would be banned until the week before the big day and big fines would be charged to all of the stores that use it like subliminal messages to raise the anxiety of their customers.

If I had my way.  Outdoor Christmas lights wouldn't exist.  Doesn't anyone else recognize all the power that is being used needlessly just to brighten up the outside of your house or building at night when everyone
                                                      is asleep???  Whose gonna see it anyway???

If I had my way.  We would spend our money not on useless gifts for each other, but on food and necessities for those who have been put out of their homes and have nothing this holiday season.

If I had my way.  Those of us that feel Christmas has become a huge marketing scam wouldn't be ashamed to say so in public.  It's kept like a dangerous secret behind a slight smile every time someone mentions how much they love Christmas.  Heaven forbid we actually voice our feelings about it for fear that we'll be judged.

Don't get me wrong, there is a part of me that envies all those people who embrace this holiday season.  I wish that I could feel like they do.  Honestly, it's never been my favourite time of year.  It's never been about the REAL stuff, the love, the togetherness, family.

I suppose one could argue that the giving of all of those gifts is how we show love for each other. 

As a child I received many, many gifts from my family.  But I still felt alone, unworthy and misunderstood.  So, in my opinion gifts don't quite cut it when it comes to what we as human beings truly need in this life.  We certainly don't need more stuff.  We need more hugs, hand holding, understanding, kindness and compassion.  Those are the true gifts of Christmas.

Christmas is about reaching out to people, touching their lives.  Not with an expensive gift but with your heart.

The message from the Universe is that "you are gift enough".  You are gift enough to your family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers.  In all of the ways that you make life better each and every day, this is the truest gift. 

So put down the expectations and anxiety of financial lack this Christmas.  Empty your arms of the burdens that are lying ahead of you and wrap those empty arms around someone who needs you, by far this will be the best gift you will ever give someone this Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Your Story

Life is like a novel.  Some chapters still unfinished of course. 

And believe it or not we can impact the content of the rest of those chapters with the choices we make and how we perceive the world around us.

Some points of our novels may look similar to eachother, but they are indeed different.  What makes them different is how the story affected us emotionally, physically and spiritually. 

We all handle situations in our very unique ways.  The death of a loved one may devastate one person, but lift another person to a higher level of their understanding of death itself.  Similar type of story, different perspective, different outcome.

Take two sisters born into the same family for instance.  If you were to ask each one to describe their childhood in detail you would get two totally different perspectives.

Our stories reflect how unique each of us is in the way that we perceive our lives.

What I have noticed about my novel is that with each chapter that was written about tragedy, loss and frustration, there was an equal chapter written that displayed courage, love, strength and joy.  There is a constant balance to my novel.  Life is like that.  You are never given circumstances in your life that won't bring about some positive attribute in the end.

The other thing I like about this novel called Life is that we are rarely the same person in the last chapter that we were in the first chapter.  Usually, as the story progresses we become different people, we think differently, act differently and engage in life differently.  Whether or not your transformation is a positive one is totally up to you.

If you were writing the chapter of your current circumstances, what would it look like?

If you were someone reading this chapter, how would it make you feel?  Would you have words of wisdom for the character or would you whole heartedly agree with their position.

Taking a step back and looking at your life like you are reading a book gives you an opportunity to make adjustments so that the chapter evolves into a life lesson and in turn changes the outcome of the entire book.

Maybe your not ready for adjustments, maybe you are just ready to notice, like I did that with each chapter of hurt there is a chapter that follows that is filled with hope.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Cure your common life

I've been reading a book by Max Lucado called "Cure for the Common Life".  I picked it up randomly at a second hand store.

It's an interesting book full of parables and scripture.  I'm not big on religious banter, however I am really enjoying this book.

In Cure for the Common Life the author talks about how God has for each of us filled a tool bag full of skills.  And for those who are miserable in their life, job, relationships he explains that most likely we are not using the proper tools in life and that we need to explore the tool pouch that God filled for us and make adjustments accordingly.  Maybe we're working in a profession because someone told us that would be a good fit without checking in with ourselves first?  We are trying to use someone else's tools!

I found this to be a great way to explain the imbalance that goes on with many.  Many are working in jobs because the pay is good, or it is close to home.  They are not working in their jobs because they absolutely love what they do and are really good at it, they are doing it out of necessity.

Someone with a talent and love for baking is going to be miserable sitting behind a desk in a cubicle filing papers and answering phones all day.  And vice versa.

One thing the author mentioned really hit me.  That was the extreme importance of motherhood and being a full time mother.  The words he spoke with regards to this subject resonated deep in my heart (and I know would resonate deeply with every full time mother).  I have been a full time mom for 12 years, and for most of those 12 years I yearned for something "more".  Mothering couldn't possibly be a "job" after all, let alone an important one, could it?  I rarely enjoyed my time at home with my kids (I'm a little ashamed of this fact), because I was worried about money all the time, worried that I wasn't contributing to the highest good of the household (money), worried that my husband wasn't satisfied with my efforts (money), worried that my time at home would be wasted (money).  Ah the joys of living in a society run by money!

Of course now after 12 years and seeing my children mature and grow, interact with others and listen to their thoughts and ideas I realize my time at home was for the greatest and highest good of my family.  Without me being home how would my children know what they know about the importance of family and choosing the highest priority (well being of children) over a lesser one (money)?  I see now that my tool pouch was filled with love for children, my children, everyone's children.  I recognize that I have been using the skills in my tool pouch my entire life.  I had unfortunately just not recognized it.  But I recognize it now and that's important.

EVERY job is of top importance in the eyes of our creator (whatever you want to call he/she/it).  Every job is important because God created us to do just that job!  God didn't say "oh well, I suppose if you really want to do that boring, useless job go for it, but don't blame me if you hate it".  No, he gave us specific tools to use in life and those tools directly relate to our jobs, our relationships and our entire life purpose!  But we do need to recognize what our skills are and move ahead from there.

But what if you don't know what your skills are?

Remember back to when you were a child and you used to play make believe.  What was your role when you were playing school, hospital, house?  Were you the teacher or the student?  Were you the doctor, nurse, custodian?  Were you the mom with a career outside the home or were you the mom that stayed home and baked cookies and kept the house tidy?  What you wanted to be when you were 5 years old tells you alot about what skills are filling up your tool pouch.

I was always the teacher when we played school and the full time mom when we played house.  Hmmmm.  I have always loved working with children, I stayed home with my own, volunteered my time at the school, scouts and coach soccer.  I now teach children energy healing techniques and mentor them in self empowerment and self awareness.

So dig out your tool pouch and take a look inside.  Find your skills and find your sweet spot....

Friday, November 20, 2009


Have you ever felt like you no longer belong where you are?

Ever felt like you no longer belonged in your family, your circle of friends, your hometown, your job, your intimate relationship?

This is me right now.  This is where I am at in my life experience.  I no longer "fit" in.  It really is hard to put into words the feeling of no longer belonging in a place where you always believed you would spend forever.

Over the past year connections have been lost with loved ones, friends, acquaintances.  The time we were sharing together was done and it was time to move on.  I continue to love all of these people on the truest of levels, we just don't belong together anymore.

I feel as though I have outgrown my home and my community.  To be honest I feel like I've outgrown my own skin some days.  Like I have grown into something more, something bigger.  Like my big dreams no longer fit in the little body of the person I was and so I have expanded.

Expansion can be difficult though.  It can bring about what may feel like mind, body, spirit imbalance.  Loss of focus, lack of energy, sadness, intolerance, headaches, backaches, loss of clarity, fear, sense of loss of purpose.  But it's not imbalance at all, it is merely your spiritual and physical self re-aligning to the new space you will soon occupy.

I kind of see it as trying to put on jeans that you just took out of the dryer.  It's a process; first you lie down, then you shimmy and slide yourself this way and that trying to wriggle those too tight jeans up past your thighs, every once in a while stopping to take in some air, the triumph comes though when you finally get them up to your waist, find yourself a pair of pliers and do those suckers up!  Ahhhh, the relief.  Uh-oh but now comes the chore of actually standing up and walking in those pants!

As much as this process is frustrating and exhausting, you still very much want to wear those pants!

The same is true for spiritual expansion or the outgrowing of your current surroundings.  Sometimes the desperation for new space is so great you would do anything to make it happen.

Staying in a place where you no longer belong can do great harm.  You may know someone who has denied themselves the privilege of moving on in their life experience and so they endure struggle after struggle, illness, dis-ease and sometimes death.

Denying yourself the change that is necessary to grow and evolve is a mistake that many of us make, because we don't want to disappoint someone by moving, leaving the relationship or changing jobs.  We don't want to let anyone down, and so we have no problem letting ourselves down.

If your need for change is so great that it fills your entire being with joy and excitement, then you really have no other choice!  You must do it!  You must step up, take the reigns of your own life and ride off into the sunset without regret and without looking back.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Comes the Dawn

Comes the Dawn

After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open
With the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And that you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

Author: Veronica A. Shoftstall

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Great Mastermind

The Master Mind is defined as "coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose".

In his book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill says this "No individual may have great power without availing him or herself of the Master Mind."

I agree with this statement whole heartedly.

We've all been a part of a master mind at one time or another, yet it most likely wasn't called a master mind and maybe we weren't even aware that, that is what was happening at the time, but I'm sure we've all experienced the synergy, the connectedness of two or more people throwing about ideas and creating something bigger than they could have created on their own.

You've most likely felt energized and confident after a session with a couple of respected friends.  Imagine if you could access this group on a regular basis.  It has the potential to keeping you motivated and on track, it is a great way to progress in your life, in your business and with any ideas you may have with regards to creating change in your community.

None of us really has all the answers to life's questions, and bringing a group of people together from various degrees of knowledge and professional/personal backgrounds allows us to become whole in the experience of creating.  When we are acting on our own it is often difficult to see a project to fruition because there are so many stumbling blocks, so many areas of business and life that we simply don't have the solutions for.  That is where the master mind group comes in handy.

It is encouraged in Think and Grow Rich that everyone be a part of a master mind.  For personal and professional success (whatever that looks like to you). 

Being able to work through our concerns with a group of people who are committed to the master mind helps bring us to the other side of the issue much more quickly than if we were dealing with it on our own and we are quickly able to move forward and create something worthwhile.

I personally would love to see children master mind more often.  Children hold a wealth of knowledge, creativity and confidence.  Imagine if we were to bring them together to work synergistically towards a common goal.  What amazing things could be created within that master mind?

There are master minds that focus on using the law of attraction. This is a fabulous idea, since when we bring two or more people together to work towards manifesting our dreams they manifest that much quicker than if we were to do it on our own.

There are so many different things that you can set up a master mind for.  I encourage you to take a look at your goals and dreams, how many of them can you achieve on your own?  How many of them do you need a support system for?  Start your own master mind!  It's easy to do and doesn't cost any money, the rewards are endless!

Friday, November 6, 2009

No more excuses!

I have been so stuck lately on what to write about.  There are so many issues at play in all of our lives at this time that it's hard to pinpoint exactly what people would be interested in reading.  But there is something tugging at my heart that I thought I'd work on today.

I am seeing so many people giving up on themselves and on life, blaming others for their circumstances and making excuses for the life they are living. 

Is it appropriate to ask the Universe to fulfill our dreams and desires when we ourselves cannot bring our thoughts out of the dark long enough to see that it is our own doing that we do not have what we desire?

Is it appropriate to scream at the world because our business is not thriving when we sit on the couch, gossip on the phone all day and do nothing within our power to change the situation our business is in?

Is it appropriate to complain about our children's behaviour and make no steps to improve our relationship with our children so that we can better understand why they are exhibiting this behaviour?

My answer to these questions is NO!  No, it is not appropriate...  Complaining and blaming outside sources for your uncomfortable living is only a crutch and only serves to give you an escape route if things aren't going the way you want them to go.

You are better than that!  You have more potential that you can ever imagine!

I know so many people who talk about change all day long, they talk about what they want, how they would prefer to live and then when they are asked "what is the first step to making that happen" they come up with a ton of excuses as to why they CAN'T do that?

The Universe does not accept excuses! 

You have many choices in life, one of them being to either live a life of abundance and joy, or live a life of suffering and misery.  If those two choices were handed to you on a platter which one would you choose?  Logically you would pick abundance and joy because it feels better and looks better.  But when the choices are not tangible, when they are not clearly set out in front of you, which do you choose?  In this moment are you living abundantly and full of joy, or are you suffering and fully miserable?

I think most people are comfortable with misery, it doesn't offer up any surprises, every day is the same old thing, right?  Living a joyful life brings with it opportunity and decisions because when you are joyful you attract opportunity, love and success.  And most people are afraid of opportunity and are afraid of making decisions because they may make the wrong one or they be criticized for it.

Take a look around you.  What kinds of people do you hang out with?  Are they kind, giving, generous?  Do they appreciate your presence in their life or do they use you and abuse you every chance they get?

How does your job feel to you?  Does your stomach turn at every thought of work?  Do you live for the weekends, hold off on having fun and being joyful until Friday at 5?

What about your family?  Are you happy with the way your household feels?  Are you happy in your marriage or partnership?  Are your children happy to see you at the end of the day?

Are your finances what you would like them to be or are you living pay cheque to pay cheque?

How's your health?  Are you sick all the time?  Do you allow yourself time to eat right and work out?

The point is that if you are living an undesireable life, you need to sit down with a pen and paper and write out each thing you are not satisfied with.  Then beside or underneath each item write down something that you could do to change that circumstance, then do that thing that can make a difference!  No matter what give yourself the opportunity to move forward.

I also recommend that if you are needing help with this that you find yourself a mentor or a life coach to help you along. 

I'd like to say that changing your life is easy.  It's really not.  It's difficult only because you will have to disappoint some people in your life, make decisions that are temporarily uncomfortable (keyword:  temporarily) in order for you to live in alignment with your hierarchy of values.

I believe it was Charlie "Tremendous" Jones that said "In 5 years you will be the same person you are today except for the people you associate with and the books that you read."  He was absolutely right about that!  And I can tell you that just changing those 2 things will bring you to a place in this world you never thought was possible!

When you begin to live within your hierarchy of values, when you begin to do things in life because it feels good to you to do them, then and only then will you begin to experience life in the way it was meant to be experienced.

I can tell you from personal experience that this year has been my most devastating and yet at the same time my most inspiring!  I'm telling you it is absolutely without a doubt possible for you to climb out of your self made hole, dust yourself off and walk into a better life.

I know that you can!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Qualities in You....

I recently conducted an exercise where I asked a variety of the people I know what 5 qualities they see in me.

This was an awkward thing to ask.  I was more than a little fearful of the outcome (as you may have read in previous blogs, my biggest fear is that of criticism).  I was a little nervous that people would think that I was just fishing for compliments, that I just wanted a pat on the back somehow (there's that fear of criticism again).  But ultimately the exercise had to be done (my life coach said so, heehee).

I received some overwhelmingly positive responses.  I found out that the life that I want to live and the way I want to be perceived by others is actually how I am being perceived and so there is a sense of accomplishment and pride that 10+ people see the same or similar qualities in me.  That my choice to be a loving, helpful and approachable person is being observed.

Then this got me thinking about what seems to me to be a phenomenon of sorts. 

You know when a loved one has passed and you are in the funeral home welcoming people who want to pay their respects, and every person you greet has a wonderful story about your loved one, their eyes are filled with tears at the memories they shared and you can feel their love and appreciation for knowing your loved one.

Your loved one touched them in a way that not many people could.  But did your loved one know it while they were alive?  Did they know that they had love and support at every corner?  Or did they go through life lonely and depressed?

Most of us don't know how we would even approach someone to share our loving thoughts with them.  It's awkward and a little dangerous for the ego, our fear takes over and we begin to think "what if they don't share the same feelings?"  "What if it turns into an awkward moment and I look stupid?"  Those were the thoughts that ran through my mind when I was asking my friends for feedback.

After receiving the responses.  I had a tremendous feeling of relief.  Relief in that I know NOW while I'm living the impact I am having on people.  I know NOW that I am a pleasant person to be with and that I am appreciated by the people in my life.  I know NOW that I have created a legacy that I will one day leave behind.  What a gift those people who responded to my request have given to me.

I don't want this blog to be all about me.  I really just needed to share the experience with you because it is so important to know NOW what the world thinks of us.  Good or no so good, because the good will lift us up and the not so good will carry us to a higher state of learning.  The knowledge that we have qualities that are not inspiring to others allows us to make changes.  And the knowledge that we are a beacon of light in this sometimes dark world can fill our hearts with even more love and light to be spread to those who are in need.

It is my intention that you read this blog and have the courage to approach 10 of the people in your life and ask them what qualities they see in you.  Then I encourage you to write out all of the qualities for yourself, post them in a place where you can easily see them on the days when your "well-being bank account" is low, these comments, the comments of your friends, acquaintances, loved ones and business associates will fill you up with a love so beautiful that you will forget your fears and doubts and you will see only opportunity for goodness in your life and in this world.

Such a simple task, yet such amazing benefits.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Love your Body

When was the last time you sent some love to your body? 

Our bodies are amazing machines and yet we go through our lives not appreciating them in the way they need to be appreciated.

It's quite easy to show your body some love.  You could cut back on junky, greasy foods and enjoy a nice healthy meal for a change.  You could spend some time outdoors, walking or working in the yard working up a sweat and filling your body with much needed oxygen.  You could join a gym and give yourself and your body the gift of time spent focusing solely on it 3-4 times a week.  There are many things to do to show your body some love.

Yesterday, I was in the mood for some shopping.  But as many women (and some men) know that just because your brain is in the mood to shop doesn't mean your body will cooperate.  And so it was that I went from store to store carrying armloads of clothing into the dreaded dressing rooms to try on.  I walked out with 3 pieces of clothing from 3 different stores.  Each time I stood in front of the mirror critiquing the current piece I was trying I noticed all of the lumps, bumps, curves and dimples.  I would take a deep breath and suck in my stomach pushing my chest out in the attempt to look better.  It was starting to get quite depressing actually.  I do spend quite a bit of time at the gym.  "Apparently not enough" is what my mind was saying.

Just as I was about to give up on my body I reminded my self that changing how I feel about myself is as easy as flipping a switch.  And so as I waited for a larger size from the sales woman I stood in front of the mirror taking in my entire being.  I began to attach a memory to each body part, a memory of when that particular part served me well.  My belly (4 pregnancies), My arms (cradling my babies as they nursed, when they were hurt or just in need of a hug), My legs (are healthy enough that I can run or walk anywhere I want), My behind (okay this one was a little harder, but I'm pretty sure it helped me to attract my husband, heehee).

The point is that each part of our body has a story, we can attach a happy memory to each portion of what we sometimes are not too happy with and change our attitude.  By the time I was on my way back home I was in a different mood about the experience, I was excited about my few purchases and proud of myself for not putting them back on the rack in frustration.

When you start to love your body, your body responds by being healthier and stronger.  Just like a houseplant that doesn't get watered or fertilized, it will simply wilt and die away.  Your body is the same way without the proper nourishment, attention and love it will slowly wilt and ultimately die.

I encourage you to stand in front of your mirror today and see your body for the truth that it holds.  The truth that it is always of service to you, that it deserves the same honor and respect as anything else in your life.  It might seem silly at first, and it might take you a bit to find something good about it but I promise you once you start to realize all the gifts that your body has given to you, it will become easier and easier to be happy with the look and feel of your body.

Take this exercise to the next level by journalling the results of this experience.  Putting things in writing makes the experience much more powerful.

Enjoy your body!  It's the only one you get!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Your True Potential

Are you aware that at this very moment there is tremendous potential living inside of you?

Did you know that the reason that you are not living to your fullest potential in this moment is because of a fear that keeps you from fulfilling your desires?

Think about one desire that you have right now in this moment.  I'll wait.......


Now think about the one reason that is keeping you from obtaining that goal.......  I'll wait again.....

Now identify which of the 6 basic fears the reason relates to:
a) a fear of criticism
b) a fear of ill health
c) a fear of loss of love of someone
d) a fear of poverty
e) a fear of old age
f) a fear of death

You now hold the answer to why your dreams are not being fulfilled.  You now hold the key to changing your life around one dream at a time.

What does this feel like to you?  Is it empowering?  Does it bring up more fear?  If so, go back to the beginning of the exercise and start again with this new feeling.  Maybe you feel like now that you are aware of what is holding you back you can now make steps towards obtaining your goal?

I realized through this exercise that my fear of criticism is responsible for a minimum of 80% of the mistakes I have made in my life thus far.  80 whopping percent!

Mistakes like not taking a risk when I had the opportunity, not sharing my opinion at a time where my opinion could've changed events, resentment of not enjoying the time when my children were very young, past obsessions with housework, cleanliness, etc.

All of these things (and more) come from my fear of being criticized.

I recognize now that every time I have an idea or desire to do something "different", I get frozen in my tracks.  No progress is made because I simply am too afraid that someone will criticize me.

I want you to experience the amazing feeling that you get when you finally realize the one thing that has been holding you back all this time.  It's like looking at the world from a whole new perspective, now everytime I do, think or say something negative or limiting I can immediately recognize what fear that thought, word or action is attached to.

I did it just last night, no sooner had the words come out of my mouth when I realized what I had said and what exactly I was putting out to the Universe in that moment.  And let me tell you it was not favourable!

This is extremely empowering!  When you become aware you single handedly take the power away from your fear and turn it into an opportunity for change and improvement and ultimately success!

I encourage you all to take some time, write out some mistakes you feel you have made in your life, whether it's the color of the paint on your walls to feeling like you married the wrong person, write it down!  Then grade the mistakes with the above listed 6 basic fears and see how you do.

I would love to hear from you once you have finished this exercise.  It may be the single most important thing that you do in your day!  The insight that you gather about yourself, your life, your current and past circumstances is deepened with this exercise.

One step at a time we can break free from the chains of fear and limitation and awaken our true potential within!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

You Can Do It!

I look at life coaching the way the Home Depot slogan looks at home improvement.

"You can do it!  We can help!"

Of course we can overcome obstacles, reach new heights in our relationships and careers, turn our health around for the better on our own.  Imagine though the pace of progression if you had someone helping you out along the way.

Imagine not having to sit in the pit of misery longer than necessary because you have a life coach that is on your team, that sees in you the things that you haven't yet seen with your own eyes?  That can bring you to a place of awareness that you might otherwise not have had the strength or energy to do on your own.

A life coach can help you see to the root cause of a situation much more quickly than if you were left to your own devices, and the quicker we come to the root cause the quicker we can resolve the situation and move forward to the next task (because there is ALWAYS another task waiting).

Life is full of mountains, mole hills, peaks, valleys and hot dry deserts.  When we stop to take a better look at how we are handling the different terrains we can better understand how we have evolved into the place where we currently sit.  And how we can navigate our way to an easier path.

I find it amazing to work with a life coach myself.  I can make progress that normally would take me months to accomplish on my own.  Revelations come to you and land right on your lap, an open book to be read and understood. 

It's like looking at life through dirty glasses and then one day realizing how dirty your glasses have become over time and deciding to wipe the grime away.  The view of life through clear glasses is very different, indeed, you can see things you haven't seen before and get a better idea of the bigger picture.

Many of us are currently stuck in very old, very outdated situations.  For some our bodies have begun to tell us that they can no longer withstand the stress and pressure of the situation.

Do you know how to move forward?  Do you have the courage in this moment to shift your thinking to see this situation as a gift?  Do you just want to find some peace and happiness in your life?  Do you want to better yourself? Are you wondering if there is more to life?

If you answered yes to any of these questions it may be time to give yourself the gift of time and invest in a life coach.  You will find the time spent with a life coach to be priceless, I know I have.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

No Matter What!

Recognizing the saboteur's that live within each of us is an extremely important step to realizing our dreams and moving forward to success.

I find that most people don't even recognize that their saboteur has taken control of their life.  We get stuck in our everyday lives and when our circumstances aren't going as planned or aren't as joyful as we would like we often sink into it further without really looking for the reason behind it.  Without realizing that we have the power to change the situation.

How many times a day do you think, feel or act like you are unworthy of whatever it is that everyone else is receiving.  Have you ever bought a lottery ticket and thought "I never win, I don't know why I buy these things"?  Have you ever looked at a well dressed, confident person walking down the street and thought "I could never be like that!"

If you have had these thoughts (or any one of the multitude of negative talk thoughts that go through our minds), you have a saboteur living among you.

I believe that there is one saboteur that lives within you and as you fight your way past it, it shape shifts into another type of saboteur.  The saboteur knows that once you have recognized him that he no longer holds the same power over you and so he changes into something a little bit different.  Sometimes the message is still the same, but the negative self talk that is used is different so that you can't recognize it right away.

The origin of the saboteur is different for everyone of course, depending on your family situation, social status, religious beliefs, etc.

I also believe that you can conquer every single one of the saboteur's that shows up in your life.  It takes time and commitment of course, but with the right support and nurturing it can be done.

I recently stumbled upon another saboteur that was living within me, one that had originally been "you're not good enough".  This one was called "just a housewife and mother" (where has this saboteur been, I am so many other things NOW).  The basic message was still "you're not good enough", however the saboteur put a new spin on it so that I would in effect not realize that I was being sabotaged.

Why do I think conquering these types of thought is important?  Well, imagine a life where you are constantly bombarded by negative self talk.  In this life you can never rise to your full potential, and even if you do you certainly won't enjoy being there because you will be constantly worried that everyone around you will find out that you are "just" or "not good enough".  You will feel like a fraud.

Sabotaging self talk is simply our ego exercising it's control muscle.  Nothing more.  Imagine a 2 year old having a temper tantrum in a grocery store because he/she is not getting what they want.  This is the image I have of my ego!  Then I remember what I did every time my son had a temper tantrum, I either ignored it (don't give that tantrum any more energy or it will never fizzle out) or I removed him from the store completely.  We need to do this with our ego every once in a while.  Show it whose boss.

So how does one go about conquering the saboteur's?

First things first.  Identify the saboteur (it's really not important to find out where it came from, no need to place blame, only a need to rid yourself of the negativity living in your mind).  Give the saboteur a name.  Go further and put an image to the saboteur.  Once I made a saboteur into a monkey and envisioned physically removing him from me and disposing of him.

Another thing was to write the name of the saboteur on a piece of paper, then rip it to shreds.  Adding an affirmation to this exercise is powerful.  Something like "I am good enough and no one can tell me otherwise". 

Adopt the "No Matter What" principle.  (btw, there is a great book out by the same title by Lisa Nichols (The Secret)).  Adopting the No Matter What principle means that you say out loud to yourself, your spouse, your children, friends, the world, whoever will listen that No Matter What you will accomplish what you were put on this earth to accomplish.  That your happiness and your dreams are non-negotiable and nothing will stand in your way.

Great things begin to happen when you take the time to recognize your saboteur's and deal with them effectively.  You will find that your way of life changes, your thoughts, feelings and desires change and you begin to see things coming into your life that you have only dreamed about.

This awareness bridges the gaps between your mind, body and spirit.

When you take back your power over the saboteur's you are empowered and you can clearly focus on what lies ahead.  You are in alignment with your true self.


Sunday, October 4, 2009

Walking Away.

Many times we are faced with the choice to stay or walk away.

Right now many of us are facing this choice.  Whether it's careers, relationships, homes, communities, etc. we are feeling the need to walk away.  To step forward into their life and have faith that all will be provided for. 

This is scary business, it means we have to step outside of our comfort zone.  Leave behind all that we know in search of a better way of living.

You've heard the familiar saying that people, places and things come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  Sometimes the very people whom we thought were to be in our lives for a lifetime are suddenly not there anymore or we are having a strong desire to disconnect from them.  You may find yourself wanting to uproot and live somewhere entirely different or you may feel a deep desire to surround yourself with completely different people.  This is a totally natural part of evolution.  It is also one that needs to be addressed and fulfilled in order that you can stay balanced and in alignment with where you are going in life.

This has happened many times in my life and for various reasons.  Usually people quietly leave and one day you notice you haven't had contact with them in a while.  Other times there is conflict and an end to the relationship is the result.  On many occasions those very people have come back into my life, maybe not in the same capacity but they come back none the less.

Many of us hold on much too long to relationships, jobs, etc.  This can cause a whole host of issues in our lives, it keeps us stuck in a space that is not comfortable and we become resentful of everything.

Every person in our life has a gift to give to us, whether it's a lesson or a trustworthy friend during a difficult time or something else.  Once that gift is given they are to move on to the next phase or experience in their life.  It is selfish of us to hang on too tightly.  If you can look at the situation from a place of pure love you are able to see the truth beneath the physical.  That the entire experience is absolutely perfect.

We need to remember to move with the flow of life, don't get too caught up in the drama.  Don't sweat the small stuff.

Walking away from anything may seem hard at first, but it is when you walk through an experience of great difficulty that you learn and grow the most in life.


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

People on Pedestal's

Have you ever put someone up on a pedestal?  Be honest?

Everyone does at one time or another.  You have a teacher you admire, up he/she goes on the pedestal.  You have a friend that seems to have it all, up she goes on the pedestal.  You have a loved one that has passed away, yep you got it, up on the pedestal they go.  We put celebrities on pedestal's only to disband them when they fail us in some way.

It's an amazing phenomenon really.  Our ability to see things in others that create a sense of respect and awe in us so much so that we put them in a category all their own.  They don't ask us of course to admire them so, we just do.

Did you know that much of what you see in others that you admire, that you yourself hold the same qualities?  It's true.  Also, 99% of the time the very person you've come to put up on a pedestal is dealing with their own demons, their own saboteurs, their own challenges.  And here we are thinking that they are so much better than we are...

I had an interesting conversation with my son tonight after a soccer game.  He was in tears because he didn't feel he did good enough during the game.  He tried to get a couple of shots on net only to have 2 stronger players take the ball away.  I assured him that he did the best he could and that ultimately it's more than just getting goals (although to a 12 year that is all there is to playing!), it's your entire contribution to the team as a whole not just one part.  You see the problem he was having is that he was feeling inadequate because one of the boys on the team insists that he is the best player on the team.  He regularly tells all of the other children this and because they believe it they themselves begin to feel inferior and incapable of doing what this boy seems to think he can do.  In this case the boy in question started the building of the pedestal and the other boys followed through and hoisted him up.  Although I don't agree with the gloating, many people who are their own best cheerleader become quite successful in life because of their views of themselves (maybe not the most popular but certainly successful : )

I asked my son what was stopping him from admitting his own greatness?  What was stopping him from declaring himself a pro soccer player?  He replied that there is usually only one "best" person.  Hmmm

Maybe you've been the one that's been put on a pedestal.  How did that feel?  It's a difficult position to be in really, you've got other people's expectations on you and you yourself cannot see why they depend on you so much because of the host of issues you have within yourself.  And if you fall from the pedestal for nothing more than being human you are immediately surrounded by negativity and accusations. 

The next time you feel the need to put someone up on a pedestal because you admire some of the qualities they hold. STOP.  Look within yourself for those same qualities!  They are there waiting to be noticed and appreciated.

Living or just Breathing?

On my way home from Windsor last night I passed by a sign that read "Are you living or just breathing"?

I thought about this question all the way home.  And I'm still thinking about it today.

I guess I had always just assumed that I was living of course.  I enjoy my work, my family, my friends.  I have a good life.

However the more I pondered just how I had been living, I realized that I really have been "just breathing".  Not to knock breathing or anything, let's be realistic without breath there is no life of course, but I'm talking about the kind of living you do when all you are doing is taking breath after breath simply to make it to the next minute, hour or day.

For the most part we walk around in a mechanical haze.  Our schedule laid out for us each day, every day running into the next.

I wonder just how many people think that this is living life to it's fullest? 

And how do we make the shift from just breathing to living fully?

I believe that all we really need is a shift in our way of thinking.  I think that reading that sign and acknowledging that I have been "just breathing" has created a shift in me already.  The awareness that comes with acknowledgment is extremely powerful.  The other part of this is once the issue has been acknowledged you need to let it go.  Resist holding yourself hostage in the guilt game.  Resist asking people's advice about the situation to gain clarity (nobody else knows you or what is happening in you but YOU).  The only advice you need comes from within you.  Believe it or not your body holds all the answers to life's questions, you don't need to seek an outside source to gain a new perspective you need to find a quiet place and ask yourself the question "what am I doing here?" or "How can I live happier, healthier, more fully?" or "Am I living or just breathing"? 

As small as a step as this may seem, it can be profound.  It connects you to your inner wisdom.  Something that can not be taken away and is extremely empowering.

And that is a beautiful step in the direction of living.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Get out of the way!

There have been so many times in my journey where it seemed as though things were moving in slow motion.  Like I was tethered to a large boulder and wasn't able to break free.  No matter what I do or try to accomplish nothing seems to happen.

These feelings make life seem less than enjoyable.  The struggle to move forward every day in our business, relationships, parental duties, etc. can seem endless. 

Often times when I feel this way, I take a moment to sit down and breathe or I call a trusted friend and bounce the situation off of them and happily receive their feedback.  Nine times out of ten the answer comes to me mid-sentence though.

The answer is often "Get out of your own way!"

The problem with feeling stuck is that often we focus on the outside sources that could be creating this position for us, however that is not always the case.  The truth is that 99% of the time we are standing in the way of accomplishing our goals and dreams.

We place limitations on what we can accomplish, when in truth there are no limitations at all. 

That's what I think is so great about life coaching.  A competent life coach can help you answer the tough questions and find out where the self sabotage is coming from.  Essentially, they help you get out of your own way.

As a rule we don't stop what we are doing and ask ourselves "I'm not happy with this situation.  How do I want it to look?"  It just doesn't happen, we get caught up in the emotion and run with it.

However, when you begin to work with a life coach you begin to see your life as full of opportunity instead of full of challenges.  You begin to stop yourself in the middle of a situation and ask "how do I want this to look".

This simple question gives you a broader perspective on what is going on and how we can go about turning it around for our benefit.

Many life coaches offer an initial 1 hour consultation free of charge.  I am one of them.  This allows everyone to access the services of a coach and see for themselves the benefit in their own life.

There is a quote that says "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting.  If you want something you've never had, do something you've never done!"

This is excellent advice.

If you're not satisfied with your life in this moment, maybe it's time to do something you've never done and gain something you've never had!

Jenn Merritt
State of Being

Thursday, September 24, 2009

One Choice

Oprah Winfrey once said "Right now you are one choice away from a new beginning".

I believe this statement to be incredibly empowering.

In your life you are facing new choices each and every moment of each and every day.  There are opportunities all around us to guide us into the next phases of our lives.  The choice between bacon & eggs or fresh fruits and whole grain toast for breakfast.  The choice between watching the morning tv or taking a drive to the gym (where by the way they have tv's for you to watch WHILE you workout).  Taking a different route to the grocery store, maybe it will save you time so you can stop for a visit with a friend, maybe you will run into an opportunity to help someone out along the way, maybe that slight change of direction brings you past the house of your dreams and sparks a long lost goal inside of you.  Maybe?

There are times when a big choice needs to be made to set you in a new direction, but for the most part I believe it is just a matter of making a different choice daily that can bring you to a different life.

Taking a different route each time you go somewhere also keeps you aware of your surroundings.  I know I have caught myself driving on "auto pilot", not paying attention to my surroundings at all and realize once I've reached my destination that I don't recall the journey to get there.  The choice I make to take the same route over and over again bores the brain and stifles creativity.  And if the joy is in the journey, what kind of journey is it if we aren't aware of it at all?

Is this how you're living your life?  Did you know you were one choice away from a new beginning?

Think of all the times you have seen situations arise that look exactly alike.  Disagreements with co-workers, children, spouse, parent, sibling, etc.  It's frustrating isn't it?  You think you're doing everything right, however it always ends the same, in a resentful and angry situation.  This is one of those times you need to search your mind for the other choice that needs to be made.  Quite possibly the choices you have been making so far have been the same choice each time.  Just one time try a different perspective and make a different choice and see where it takes you.

Here's where you need to resist the urge to be fearful of what the change will be.  None of us knows what tomorrow is going to bring us.  We need to live where our feet are and be aware of the moment we are currently living in so that we can make the choices that are in line with our divine inner self.  You will know you are on the right track when you receive a feeling of enjoyment, fulfillment, purpose.

If you are feeling upset, angry, resentful you are most assuredly in the wrong place!

It's all about the choices we make.  You choose for YOU!

Opening yourself to seeing the truth in a situation allows you to shift your perspective and make a new choice in the situation.  This choice however large or small it is changes EVERYTHING!

Jennifer Merritt
State of Being

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Change on the horizon

Change happens...

Change challenges us to step outside of our comfort zone and make decisions that will make a positive and necessary difference in our lives.

Imagine that your life 5 years from now looks exactly the way it is today...

Go ahead, I'll wait.....

What did the idea of this feel like to you?  Excitement?  Fear?  Happiness?  Anxiety?

Ask yourself these questions:
Are you in the financial position you want to be in in 5 years?  Are you in the marriage you want to be in, in 5 years?  Are you in the position or job you want to be in, in 5 years?  Is your fitness, health and well being at a level you would be comfortable living with for the next 5 years? 

These are big questions. 

These are exactly the questions we need to ask ourselves.

As humans we are not meant to stay in one place.  Life is about experiencing a multitude of things and finding what makes our hearts sing.  We are meant to evolve.  What brings you joy and fulfillment today will not necessarily do the same for you in 10-20 years. 

And so we cannot ignore change, you can try to curl up in a ball and hide, bury your head in the sand so you can't see it coming or get all defensive about the situation that's bringing about the change, but ultimately the change will occur.

It's inevitable.  We experience change whether we like it or not.  It may just not be in a positive way, but change will be there and you will be a different person after the opportunity than you were before it arrived.

Sometimes the idea of change can be paralyzing.  There is almost always something or someone you don't want to let down when you are on your way to another destination in life.  The fear of letting someone down, not knowing what will happen next, whether or not you'll be supported on your journey are just some of the things that prevent us from taking action in our lives and creating the change that we need to fulfill our dreams. 

Many of us, right now are experiencing situations that require drastic change!  It can be overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be.

Ask yourself this question:  If you could take one step (no matter how big or small) towards changing your life situation what would it look like?  And if your life is really messy in this moment, please just pick one issue so that you don't overload your mind and to-do list, most often one area will lead into another automatically so a little change in one spot will provide for change in another without much effort.

When we have faith and take steps towards change, it comes to us gradually and smoothly.  The transition is hardly noticeable and when we are done with the experience we almost always can look back and say "hey, that wasn't so bad".

When we deny the change, we slow it down and so every single bit of the experience is excruciating to live through.  The process is lengthened and we are often fatigued at the end of the experience.

Which experience would you prefer to have?

Make today the day you make a change.