Friday, July 29, 2011


Keep It Simple Stupid!

As of 7pm last night this is my new mantra.

You might have read my previous post about losing my mind over lack of dinner ideas.

Just after I posted that blog, my son walked into the kitchen and said to me "I really would like spaghetti tonight Mom".  Okay then.  Problem solved.

I do this to myself WAY too often.  I (for reasons God only knows about) love to make things more complicated than they ever need to be.

From relationships to attending events to what to make for dinner it has become much too easy to jump off the serenity bridge and into the pit of hellish fire known as self inflicted stress.

For instance, this past weekend I had the option to attend a family function.  Instead of just asking myself what I wanted to do about whether to attend or not, my mind instantly ran off towards the 'should' department of life and started throwing out all sorts of reasons why I should attend because it would be nice of me to do so, or it would benefit my kids, or it would make other people happy/content. 

I analyzed the situation until it looked like a piece of roadkill that had been hit 100 times and finally concluded that I simply did not want to go.  That's it.  I did not WANT to go.  No reason why, no floundering for an excuse that would be acceptable to others. 

Why must we make everything more complicated than it has to be (or even more so than it sometimes already is)?  It certainly doesn't feel good to the body to do this.  It doesn't help you sleep at night or help you to wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed.  So what is the real point?

Do you know that we would all have WAY more free time on our hands if we weren't so busy building mountains out of mole hills.

Imagine what you could do with all of that free time?  You could maybe paint your toenails, take in a movie or I don't know....ENJOY your LIFE!!!!

My point is that anything more than simple just isn't worth the energy.

Trust me, our body mind and spirit are screaming for a little more simple!

But don't take my word for it.  Try out the KISS approach for a week and see what happens. 

You really don't have anything to lose!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

I wish I could post this with a 'really bad word' as the heading!

I really wanted to call this post "FUCK!!!!!" 

But I really wasn't sure how that would go over.

So I sweetened it up a little...

Sitting here, right now;  I am overwhelmed.

By what you may be asking?

Well, nothing in particular.  Except the pressure I am putting on myself.

That's all.

The pressure of finding something interesting and delicious to 'uncook' for dinner.

I have recently gone on a 'we need to eat more raw/vegetarian type foods' in the name of my husbands good health and today, I just don't feel like I have the energy to even Google a good recipe!

Plus, all of the good recipes on Google (the ones with the pretty pictures) require sprouted this and sprouted that and other things that I can't even pronounce.  And my black bean & chick pea sprouts aren't ready yet!

Fuck Fuck Fuckety Fuck! ACK!

I want to keep the momentum of this new food revolution going!  I really really really want to succeed...  It's been great to not have to cook anything over the past week (since I really don't enjoy cooking, as is clear by the wilted veggies and burnt meat I serve to my family each night),  it's super easy to throw a few veggies and fruits together in a salad or experimental casserole and hubby is already noticing a change in his body since beginning this endeavour.

As much as I want to keep it going and be successful, it would be so much easier to just throw a box of something on the stove and cook it into oblivion.  For old times sake!

I'm having trouble with the variety.  Presenting something new and exciting at each family meal.

I can see why all the raw vegan websites talk about how difficult it is to maintain this lifestyle and how most people will fail.  I can see my raw food plane going down already and we've only been in flight for a week!

This healthy raw diet is challenging me to change all of my beliefs about how food should be eaten and why.  It's challenging my entire family for that matter (the men think I'm off my rocker - they could be onto something there!) to try new things and have faith that we won't starve just because there isn't KD in the pantry!

In fact, what may be the hardest part about this experience (besides the finding of easy recipes to provide variety) is that the kids are too used to having 'ready to eat' food stocked on our shelves and right now, there isn't any.  There is nothing for them to open up and chew on or microwave.  There's no fast food in this house and it's driving them just as mad as not having a recipe for tonights dinner is driving me!

It's a house of madness.

Watching my 14 year old come into the kitchen, whip open the pantry door and scream "there's nothing to eat in this house"', reminds me of a drug addict going through withdrawals.  I swear if I looked more closely at the boy he'd be shaking uncontrollably.  I reminded him of the plethora of fruits and veggies in the refrigerator and he came back with "it's all just ingredients!  There's nothing to just EAT"


And therein lies the problem....  for all of us! 

Monday, July 25, 2011

You are the Captain of your Relation-Ship!

I picked up a book off my bookshelf the other day called "Complaint Free Relationships" written by Will Bowen.

I purchased this book over a year ago and hadn't even opened it!

This weekend was a 'soul searching' weekend.  Nothing I had planned, it just sort of happened.

Anyway, I love how when you are ready to conquer a belief system, the tools and ideals magically appear in front of you. 

This book is one of those tools.

The book speaks about the state of our relationships with ourselves and others are based on perceptions in the mind.

This information isn't new to me, and at the same time it is!

Think about that person that you work with that you absolutely cannot stand.  Think about your thoughts while on your way to work.  What are they saying about this loathesome being?  I'm pretty sure they are not good thoughts.

If you are having nasty thoughts about this co-worker, then it shouldn't be a surprise to you when he/she behaves exactly as you expect them to behave.  Energetically, they are living up to your expectations.


Did you feel that shift?!?  I certainly did!

I spent some time yesterday releasing all sorts of people and the perceptions that I had held about them.

Often times we feel victimized.  We feel we've been done wrong at some point by the people in our lives.  We sit with that wrong doing and we review it daily, adding bits and pieces of things to the story that make it sound 'better'.  We do this for days, months and years.  The mind is loving this!

What we forget in the midst of all of this victimization behaviour is that we have all the power inside of us to change this situation.  It's a matter of making a choice.

Last night as I sat in meditation, my heart was filled with so much love and compassion for the people in my life whom I've filled my relation-ship with negative photos of.  I began to see myself taking down those photos & perceptions of them and revealed all sorts of wonderful memories and pictures that were hidden by the yucky ones I had placed on top of them.  What a relief I felt as I drifted off to sleep, knowing that those pictures were gone, that I had made a choice to make a change.

I have been holding onto some ugly, ugly perceptions of people.  Something I'm deciding to let go of.

All those perceptions do is make me feel sad, alone, frustrated and angry, which leads to behaviour I normally would not entertain!

This simple meditation has filled me with so much forgiveness.  Because in reality there is nothing to forgive, it was all made up in my mind!

The people involved in our victimization stories haven't done anything 'wrong'.  They haven't done anything TO us. 

We've done it to ourselves!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Trouble with Growing Up

My kids are growing up...  and FAST!

They are no longer interested in the things we used to do to keep them occupied.

They spend their time in front of the XBOX or handheld game, texting on the cellphone or hanging with friends in town.

They turn down offers of trailriding on bikes, excursions to the beach to look for glass and even trips to the ice cream shop!  In fact, we are currently engaged in the discussion of why the 14 year old cannot stay home alone for 10 days while we are away at the family cottage on vacation!

What is my world coming to?

I found myself feeling a bit sad this morning at the thought that my role as mother has come to a sort of standstill.  Of course, I know it will never be a stale role, that there will always be something I will be needed for as a mother.  However, the part of this role that states it is my duty to keep my children lovingly entertained, giving them ways to express themselves and exert energy are long gone!

They are who they are!  They have put themselves in charge of their own happiness and entertainment!

This is a VERY good thing!  Why does it feel so sad?

Friday, July 22, 2011

Waking up on the wrong day...

Today I woke up on tomorrow.


I woke up this morning already having thoughts about tomorrow.

By 8:10am I was in tears asking my good friend to smack me.

By 10:30 I was nauseous.

By 1:00 I was exhausted.

(Yes, you've guessed it, I've lost my marbles!)

Logically, tomorrow is not a problem, it's just that it's not today.  But my mind wasn't in a logical mood this morning (apparently) and my body immediately responded to being thrown into a day it was not prepared for.

I wish I knew what happens between the time my head hits the pillow at night and the sun rises in the morning.  It's like a time warp/time travel kinda thing!

Anywho, I feel much better.  Having meditated to an OM chant for an hour!

Hopefully I don't wake up tomorrow in yesterday...  Then there's gonna be trouble!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

I'm a junkie...

I've kept it a secret for too long.

Been in the closet with the door locked, sitting in the dark wondering if I'd ever get the nerve to admit my addiction.

Today's the day.

I woke up this morning and realized I can't live with this lie any longer.

Here goes.

I am addicted to acceptance.


I feel lighter already.

The problem with being addicted to acceptance is that the need is never really met.  The craving is so intense that you will do anything to get it!  The side affect of this addiction of course is that even the smallest amounts of outward acceptance cannot tame the need!  The more you receive acceptance from others the more you feel starved of it!

A never ending cycle.

Or is it?

Admitting this addiction has been a very big part of my personal growth process lately.  I've been watching myself in certain situations and noticing my reactions and feelings in moments of someone expressing their acceptance of me.

It feels good still, but it doesn't have the same hold on me that it used to.  What used to make me feel warm and fuzzy for days, quickly loses it's sparkly happiness and sends me into a place of questioning "If that person can so easily accept me, why can't I?"

This is where the junkie in me can step even further into the stronghold of the addiction or I can recognize that I'm no longer in need of outward acceptance and move forward.

I realize that what I truly want is the permanent high of self acceptance.  It's what I've been looking for all of this time, I was just going about it the 'wrong' way.  Or is that the 'right' way since eventually I got it!

What addiction have you been hiding?  How is it keeping you from moving forward? 

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Dummy Doctor

Firstly, my apologies to any doctors who will read this blog.  Although I'm sure none do, they are probably much too busy to bother with silly things like my blog.  Which is a good thing because I'm about to go ape nuts on the medical profession....


Hubby had a doctors appointment a bit ago regarding an issue with his knee.  He was sent for blood tests and is awaiting an MRI (yes we realize he may lose the leg prior to getting the MRI, but still it's what the doctor ordered).

So post blood work, he gets a call to revisit the office, the doctor needs to discuss the results.

He comes into the house tonight and this is the conversation

Me: "how did the visit go?"

Hubby "Not bad.  He gave me a prescription for high cholesterol"

Me (glaring):  "I told you to tell him no prescriptions that first we will work with diet and exercise if it turned out to be a cholesterol thing".

Hubby (nervous because now he's not only dealing with the news from the dr. but he's dealing with his irate, very passionate wife!) "he said it's the LDL and that you can't change LDL with diet and exercise".

Me:  "Really?  In his 4 hours of fucking nutritional training 20+ years ago he has the knowledge to tell you that diet and exercise cannot change high cholesterol?  What you should've said was sorry buddy your summer vacation isn't on me this year, I won't be taking your stupid prescription so that the pharmaceutical company will send you a big fat fucking cheque, plus it's only elevated 2 points which doesn't warrant a statin drug that will cause more problems down the road".

Hubby (smiling because he is so totally used to this kind of stuff coming out of my mouth).

Me:  "I'm googling it.  I'll have your cholesterol down in no time."


I am so sick of doctors and their kick backs from pharmaceutical companies.

At the mention of my plan of action, the doctor immediately told my husband that eating habits and exercise won't work and that LDL is genetic and is a bowel issue - he told my husband the only way to lower it without drugs is to have a portion of the bowel removed!

Are we living in the fucking dark ages???  Where are these professionals hiding while the rest of us are learning more about healthy living and effectively managing health issues through proper diet?

Not that google is the answer to everything, but 50+ sites saying the same things from different sources can't be wrong?  Changing your diet, losing weight and implementing a daily exercise plan will lower your cholesterol more effectively and more safely than statin drugs.

My husband wants to live forever.  To be told at 44 he has no choice but to go on a drug to lower cholesterol or else have a portion of bowel removed for a 2 point elevation in his LDL is disgusting and shows us exactly where our health care system is.

The damn pharmaceutical companies are running the show.  Some doctors are denying care to any patient that goes against the prescribed remedy cover up.  The money in the pocket is more powerful than their commitment to 'first do no harm'.


You are That!

I love love love having coffee chats with my friends.

I think of them as creative coffee chats because an idea always presents itself or a previous thought blossoms into reality in the blink of an eye.

There's something about these times that lights a fire under me and gets me moving in a great direction!

Today was no different, as I sipped my peppermint tea and listened to my friend speak about how pleasantly surprised she is to be surrounded by so many amazing people these days, it warmed me up (the words, not the tea).

In a world where we strive to become something bigger and better, we rarely stop and take a look at what we already have surrounding us.

This includes the wonderful people we call friends, acquaintances and colleagues.

Her sentiment resonated within me and I shared with her that the mere fact that she is surrounded by amazing, beautiful, talented and powerful people is because she is that!  She is amazing, beautiful, talented and powerful herself.  Why shouldn't she be surrounded by the same?

We often miss this big piece of the self love puzzle.

The easiest and quickest way for us to recognize our self worth is to look around us. 

Look around at all of the beauty in the people that call you friend.  You are that beauty.

Look around at all of the wisdom.  You are that wisdom.

Look around at all that love, happiness, creativity.  You are that!

So next time you are down and out, feeling alone or lonely, feeling unloved or unworthy, just look around at all of the people that love you and adore you and think you are the cat's ass!

Because you are that!

Monday, July 18, 2011

A heart to heart

To say I've been feeling a bit lost lately would be a huge understatement.

My mind is all over the place (and so are my blog posts!)

Each day I wake up hoping that today is the day things turn around.

Not that things are horrible.  Everything on the outside is looking just fine and dandy, it's my "inside's" that are making the fuss.

So today on the way home from a meeting with a friend and student of mine, I took some time to think about where I've been and where I feel I am going.

I had a heart to heart with myself and with my angel guides.

I shared my worries and fears about moving forward and (once again) committed to letting go of these so that I could freely be guided to do what and who it is I am meant to be.

It felt good to release all of that energy.

When I arrived home there was a phone message from someone I was waiting to hear back from with regards to an opportunity to teach Continuing Education workshops for a local college.

Instantly, my mind started to go through the list of things I needed to accomplish to make this meeting a success.  My heart started racing and the stress and anxiety began to creep in.


Wait a minute! 

Did you or did you NOT just tell your guides that you were letting go of this shit stuff?!?


Let the test of my commitment begin!

Ask the Boss

When was the last time you ran your thoughts and ideas past the boss?

I'm not talking about the guy at the office that signs your paycheques.  I'm talking about your heart!

When was the last time you ran an idea past your heart?

Let's face it half the stuff your mind thinks you should do, your heart would never agree with!

That's where the inner struggle begins. 

When you've been doing too much thinking and not enough feeling in a situation you will no doubt begin to experience a tightness in the chest and fluttering in the tummy!

It's like a built in alarm system in our bodies that goes off when we aren't being true to our hearts desires.

As I prepared for bed last night I realized I've been doing a lot of things based on what my mind thinks I should be doing and haven't once run it past my heart to see if she was in agreement.

I can easily tell by my emotional state and my level of energy that I've been 'mind driven' for a while. 

That monkey mind that plays it's story tapes all day long 24/7 can wear a girl out! 

My mind will wander in every which way, making life seem more complicated than it has to be.  And because I haven't once brought that information into my heart to see if it's true for me, I have gotten caught up in the tide and have been swept out into the ocean of 'useless bullshit' thinking.

And if it's not feeling good then why am I doing it? 

That is a very good question.  I think I'll run it past the boss.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Power in Numbers

Today I had the pleasure of meeting with 3 beautiful and inspiring business women who have so much motivation and determination to light this world on fire that just being in their presence makes you feel like you can take on anything.

I get this feeling often when I am surrounded by powerful women (and men).  The energy that flows through the group ignites the creative mind and sets you on a new course of action.

I listened to each of them share some of their personal struggles since their last gathering and what they have on the horizon with their businesses.  I could have listened to them all day long.

Jess Webb.  The Digital Design gal.  There is so much potential in this amazing young woman, I can't wait to see where she goes (and I hope I get to tag along on some of those adventures ;)  I tell many people, if they are looking for creative direction for their web presence and social media projects, Jess is the girl you want to hire!

Floydilou Kerr.  This business Savvy woman will take your business to the next level with her 'on the fly' approach to making changes from an intuitive point of view, she'll have your head spinning and your pocketbook overflowing in no time at all!

Lora Colautti.  Lora is an absolute hoot to be around!  She's a talented life coach that specializes in helping overwhelmed, overbooked, overexhausted women find their passion and in doing so helping them to find balance and calm even in the busiest of schedules!

Their inspiration was exactly what I needed today.  I have so many ideas floating around in my head that I recruited my son to jot them down for me as I drove to his orthodontist appointment today!

There are power in numbers people.  Extreme, raw, over the top power!

If you are feeling stuck, need some creative energy to jolt you back to life you need to call a meeting of the minds, gather up the girls (or boys) get the latte's flowing and have at it!

Believe me you won't soon regret it!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Truth Is....

Being honest with yourself is probably the hardest thing you will ever do.

You'll have to face some big things that you've been lying to yourself about.

It's gonna be SO worth it!

A little while back I got an email from a friend. 

As always it was perfect timing.  I was in need of a reality check, I had been ignoring my truth and working hard at the things I really don't enjoy doing which translates into nothing, notta, zip. 

I learned a long time ago that when I'm not honest with myself about the direction I'm going in, I feel like a failure.  If I continue on a project that feels bad to me but I'm being encouraged by an outside source, I feel like a failure.  And still I get stuck in that sometimes.

The article talked about how being honest with yourself and embracing your truth can help you build your business.  Personally, I wasn't focused on how this would improve my business, I was more interested in what it would do for me personally.  Since personally I was feeling like I was stuck in quicksand.

The article encourages you to make a list of truths.

The list starts 'The Truth Is....' and you go through each and every thing you can think of that you've been trying to deny for so long.

My list was long.

The struggle was getting down to my core issues and not focusing on what someone else might want me to focus on (I know you're thinking where does someone else's expectations come in...  I don't know, they just do sometimes).

What happens when you are looking at a physical list of truth?  It changes you.  It changes your direction and it changes your decisions and priorities.

I looked at my list and thought "why on earth would I continue to do anything that I don't feel good about or that doesn't honour my truth?"

Here's my list.

The truth is I HATE (I know a strong word, and yet oh so appropriate) doing business work.
The truth is I really want to draw and teach and heal all day long.
The truth is I don't spend enough time being a mom (because some days I'm too busy doing the business thing)
The truth is I'm afraid of my potential.
The truth is I'm tired of holding back, I'm tired of being afraid and I'm tired of 'playing small'.
The truth is I love my life when I am sharing wisdom and drinking latte's with new (and old) friends.
The truth is I am tired of denying myself true happiness for someone else's emotional well being.
The truth is when it comes to business I despise the networking scene and think it's a joke.
The truth is I have a lot to learn about everything in life and the truth is I am eager to do that learning.

The list goes on and on.

What does your list of truth look like?

Monday, July 11, 2011

A Book Worth Reading

When my good facebook friend Ed McBeth announced the launch of his new book "How To Seduce Life", I thought to myself "now THIS is a book I want to read, in fact this is a book I would LOVE to do a review for".                                                                                                                   

Lucky for me Ed thought my offer to review was a good idea and sent me a copy of his 'baby' for me to read.

It's not often I get to read a 'self help' book that is honest, realistic and humourous.  Let's face it most self help authors are dry and all the advice they give is something most of us can't imagine doing for ourselves.

Guru Eduardo (Ed's pen name) tells it like it is in 'How To Seduce Life'.  He shares his wisdom and wise cracks and everytime I picked the book up it felt as though I had him right in my living room with me sharing a beer and a few laughs about life.

The timing of this literary gem couldn't have been better for me! 

Reading Guru Eduardo's tips on how to authentically seduce life has rekindled a passion in me for random acts of kindness and living a life full of fun!  Both of which I've been slacking on and really needed a kick in the pants...  Thanks Guru!

Guru Eduardo takes Dr. David Hawkins "Power vs. Force" to the next level.  Teaching you how to remain in a positive state of mind, avoid negative pitfalls and get what you truly want out of life!

'How To Seduce Life' is the everyday person's guide to being a success in the business of YOU.  It encourages you to look at life a little lot more on the light side, recognize and take action on the plethora of positive change opportunities that surround us every day and be an excellent role model for the people you interact with. 

The Guru writes about changing the world, love, fear, belief systems, super powers and so much more!

He 'gets real' with us about personal growth, you can feel the love that Ed has for life and for his readers.  I cannot remember ever reading a non-fiction/self help that is fun to read, gives you real life examples of how to get through challenges and encourages you to hone your silliness skills and to discover your super powers!

To say that I LOVE this book would be an understatement!

It will definitely be one of the few books on my shelf that I will refer to time and time again for a 'reality' check.

Thanks Ed for being so wise and for sharing that wisdom with the world!

BUY the book NOW and learn more about Guru Eduardo!  Visit

Saturday, July 9, 2011

What's the worst that can happen?

This is a great question to ask yourself when you are stuck in a situation and feeling a ton of fear about making a decision that might not be too popular with the rest of the world.

I asked myself this question last week.

In fact, I ask myself this question alot.

And what I have found is that everytime I ask and answer this question, I find that the worst isn't really that bad.

In fact, if I think about it, what I would consider being the 'worst' thing that could ever happen, has actually already happened to me.

Nothing the mind can make up at this point holds a candle to some of the things I've already experienced.

And I would suspect that you would feel the same way (unless you've lived in a bubble all of your life).

Think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you in this lifetime.  Think about the time you felt most alone, most afraid, most sad.

Now think about the fears that are holding you back from achieving a level of success in your life.

Now ask yourself. What is truly the worst that can possibly happen?

If the worst happens, will I be okay? Will I overcome it?

For me, being rejected is a fate worse than death.  Yet I reject myself all of the time, I've been rejected by many people in the past and I've done some rejecting myself from time to time.

Guess what?  I'm still living.  I'm still breathing.  In fact, I am better than ever despite all that rejection going on!


So really what is the worst that can happen if you make that career change (even if it is a pay cut); dump that boyfriend/girlfriend who doesn't treat you right (even if he/she tells you you won't find anyone else) or spend the day lounging in a comfy chair (when you know you should be doing something more productive)?

Chances are it's not as bad as what your mind has been telling you.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

A Ridiculous Poem :)

It feels as though the world is tipping
And I am slipping off the edge.

Hanging on by the tips of my fingers
Legs and feet dangling, limp, lifeless.

What if I just let go?
What is the worst that can happen?

I could lose myself in the abyss
Get cozy in the darkness.

And that would be fine
It would be bliss.

I guess.

And in a moment
That thought is over.

I'm back on solid ground
Though my legs feel a bit like wet spaghetti.

Life is so.... Oh I don't know
precarious, unusual, ridiculous!

All you would hear is my giggle
As I fall.....


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Benefits to Humanity

This week I got to meet a 16 year old boy who has autism.

His parents brought him to State of Being for a Reiki session;  they had been all around the world seeking healers to heal him of his 'issue'.

His parents were evaluating my skills as a healer to see if I could help their son.

He took his Reiki through his Mother as a surrogate.  He didn't let me touch him.  He didn't want to be here.

His energy was saying "leave me alone" throughout the entire session.

Leave me alone.

He had endured different healers poking and prodding at him for years.  Endured his parents seeking out people who might be able to 'fix' him.

Granted his parents love him very much.  He doesn't see it like that, he sees it as not being accepted for who he is.

I could see the gift that this beautiful boy had brought to the world.  I could see the joy and love in his sisters faces as they watched him move around the room and touch everything in sight.  I could see the pain and exhaustion in his parents eyes.

The boy doesn't know he has a challenge.  He thinks he is just fine.  It's the perception of the parents that says he has something wrong with him.

This boy and his family touched me, because it made me realize how much I had been denying my own imperfections.

I have been the one in my own life who has been searching out 'cures' for what I see as challenges, deficiencies and defects.

I began to wonder this week what would happen if I just embraced all of that, accepted it and moved on.

I had told the parents of this boy that their son was a gift to them, brought here with a purpose to serve humanity by way of teaching patience and tolerance.  Both of which this world needs a whole lot of.  When you begin to see your son as perfect and as a blessing that is when you will see changes.  The changes won't be his, he will be the same.  The changes will be yours.  Your perception will have changed and that can change everything.

I thought long and hard about this message once my clients had left.

I realized that this message is for all of us.

For each one of us, our challenges, quirks and special personalities are serving a purpose to humanity. 

It's up to us to change our perception of each of these and accept them so that humanity can finally benefit.