Friday, November 20, 2009


Have you ever felt like you no longer belong where you are?

Ever felt like you no longer belonged in your family, your circle of friends, your hometown, your job, your intimate relationship?

This is me right now.  This is where I am at in my life experience.  I no longer "fit" in.  It really is hard to put into words the feeling of no longer belonging in a place where you always believed you would spend forever.

Over the past year connections have been lost with loved ones, friends, acquaintances.  The time we were sharing together was done and it was time to move on.  I continue to love all of these people on the truest of levels, we just don't belong together anymore.

I feel as though I have outgrown my home and my community.  To be honest I feel like I've outgrown my own skin some days.  Like I have grown into something more, something bigger.  Like my big dreams no longer fit in the little body of the person I was and so I have expanded.

Expansion can be difficult though.  It can bring about what may feel like mind, body, spirit imbalance.  Loss of focus, lack of energy, sadness, intolerance, headaches, backaches, loss of clarity, fear, sense of loss of purpose.  But it's not imbalance at all, it is merely your spiritual and physical self re-aligning to the new space you will soon occupy.

I kind of see it as trying to put on jeans that you just took out of the dryer.  It's a process; first you lie down, then you shimmy and slide yourself this way and that trying to wriggle those too tight jeans up past your thighs, every once in a while stopping to take in some air, the triumph comes though when you finally get them up to your waist, find yourself a pair of pliers and do those suckers up!  Ahhhh, the relief.  Uh-oh but now comes the chore of actually standing up and walking in those pants!

As much as this process is frustrating and exhausting, you still very much want to wear those pants!

The same is true for spiritual expansion or the outgrowing of your current surroundings.  Sometimes the desperation for new space is so great you would do anything to make it happen.

Staying in a place where you no longer belong can do great harm.  You may know someone who has denied themselves the privilege of moving on in their life experience and so they endure struggle after struggle, illness, dis-ease and sometimes death.

Denying yourself the change that is necessary to grow and evolve is a mistake that many of us make, because we don't want to disappoint someone by moving, leaving the relationship or changing jobs.  We don't want to let anyone down, and so we have no problem letting ourselves down.

If your need for change is so great that it fills your entire being with joy and excitement, then you really have no other choice!  You must do it!  You must step up, take the reigns of your own life and ride off into the sunset without regret and without looking back.


  1. When you are experiencing through the natural self and not the false self, that attachment to what is around you drifts away and you become part of the natural current. Many of those around you, however, are moving in time, but not in spirit. Swim, girl, swim!

    Good stuff, Jenn.

  2. Just saw that the 'crap blog detective' commented on one of yours, he obviously has no taste :) I like this, very much.


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