Friday, January 29, 2010

The purposeful stay at home mother.....

We are all looking for our purpose in life. Some of us search high and low for that thing that will make us feel alive.

But what if you are living your purpose and you aren't aware of it? What if you are happy with what you are doing but you think there must be something more out there to make it complete.

This has been my struggle the past few months (okay, I lied it's more like years).

I am a stay at home mom and an entrepreneur. I spend my days caring for the house and working on marketing my business and interacting with clients.

Do I feel purposeful? Not really...

But I am living my purpose. Each day I am actively engaging in my soul's purpose.

My life's purpose is that of healer and master of family and relationships.

I haven't always known this. The knowledge came about a month ago when I had my hand prints analyzed (something I highly recommend by going here

Since receiving this information I have felt relief that I have been doing exactly what I have been meant to do, however I am also struggling with the fact that being home with my children hasn't felt purposeful enough to me. Perhaps it's because I've felt guilty for not contributing to the household finances, maybe it's because as a society we don't value stay at home mothers. More likely it is because I didn't trust that my heart was leading me to do what I came to this planet to do. Society tells us to go out, work our butts off and make some money so that our children can have the finer things in life. That can definitely rub against someone who has a different path to take.

It's something I've struggled with for the 12 years I've been a stay at home mom. The struggle between being a mom and feeling purposeful and worthy, wanting to make a difference in the world.

Let's face it motherhood is an amazing experience, it is also very hard work. At the end of the day when you are counting how many times you got frustrated with a child are you feeling purposeful?

I can't say I ever felt purposeful cleaning vomit out of beds in the middle of the night, but somehow I was.

As my children are getting older I am beginning to see glimpses of the impact my presence has had on them though. The way they care for others, their independence and abilities to care for themselves, they are supportive, loving and kind.

I suppose I had something to do with all of that, even though during that time I felt like I was just getting by, emotionally, physically and financially.

I do believe that part of my not embracing my role as mother whole heartedly was because I always felt like I was fighting against the current. Going against the grain of what others wanted me to do. Little did I know at the time that this builds strength and character. It turns you into a leader. It turns you into someone that people admire and respect.

I can say without a doubt that I would make the exact same decision again. I have been able to see every sporting event, play, speech, and spelling bee. I have been able to volunteer within my children's school and be present for them when they have had a tough day.

What I want to say to every mom who feels isolated, unworthy and confused about their role on this planet is that you are doing the Universe's toughest job, only the best of the best are called forth to perform the noble duty of which you have enlisted your services.

Mothers do it all on their own! They don't have assistants who schedule their days for them, they don't have people writing their speeches and telling them what to say, they don't have someone whispering the answers into a microphone in their ear when they are faced with a dilemma.

They do it on their own, and they do it pro bono!

Now that is something to feel purposeful about!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Step away from the saboteur!

I am one of those people who beats herself up on the way home from functions for saying the "wrong" thing.

I am also one of those people who doesn't hide her emotions well. If I am feeling nervous or anxious, I will just say so.

This is what happened last night at a monthly gathering that I am to speak at in February. The speaker last night was phenomenal. She had a great story, she was entertaining and inspirational and the whole time my stomach was in knots and I was thinking "now how am I going to do that?" How am I going to effectively engage the audience so that they enjoy what I am saying to them.

At that moment my little saboteur, the one I call "you're not good enough" popped into my head and started to fill it with nonsense. ARGH!

What happened next is why I felt the need for a beating. A couple of people were expressing that they were fondly anticipating my speech next month. This made me cringe (saboteur body language, did you know they take over your whole body?). By this point my insecurities were so close to the surface that I couldn't manage a pleasant thank you at the compliment, instead I said "I hope I don't disappoint anybody". OUCH!!!!! Where is the duct tape for your mouth when you need it, huh?

I really don't like this particular saboteur, because it doesn't just attach itself to the issue at hand, it spreads like a virus into the other areas of my life and then I freeze up.

I'm trying not to let that happen (hence the blog post about it). I am aware of it and therein lies the power.

My motto is "awareness is key". I believe that when we are aware of things like saboteurs, limiting beliefs, negative influences we have all of the power. Oh for sure the insecurities will think that they have the upper hand, however they cannot hold all of the power if your mind is aware of what is taking place.

When you become aware of your saboteur, in that flash of a moment you become very powerful. You now have a choice. You can allow the saboteur to wreak havoc in your life and cause you to feel unworthy, unloved, unaccepted, alone and desperate or you can choose to kick the saboteur to the curb and get back to business.

And if you're like me and you do the "beat yourself up" self talk thing all the way home you need to know that just because you allowed yourself to be caught off guard by your saboteur doesn't mean it's the end of the world. You can get back on that horse, all you have to do is stand up, dust yourself off and hop on! In no time at all you will be back on track and galloping at a nice pace.

Come on, we'll do it together.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The self empowerment lesson within bullying

Recently we have been having some challenges with our son. He has withdrawn from the family quite a bit, spends hours on the phone (although, not unusual for a teenager), he is disrespectful and rude at every turn to his brothers, to his father and myself. He is not eating with us as a family and he is doing poorly in school. When he gets angry he shouts death threats.

Don't get me wrong, I totally get that teenagers are temperamental and are more interested in their social lives than anything else, however, my son's behaviour has become completely opposite to his natural character and that raises some red flags for me.

We had an incident a couple of evenings ago that prompted a conversation about his behaviour and where it was coming from. He finally admitted that the group of people he hangs around with at school are abusive towards him.

My son is one of the smaller members of the group and so is targeted as the one that gets pushed around, knocked over and tripped repeatedly throughout his day. He is also someone who just wants to be liked and accepted within his circle of friends, so he is for the most part accepting the treatment so that he will be liked. He expressed to me that he hates going to school and that it is really hard for him to focus during the day with all of this on his mind.

I completely understood where he was coming from because I endured the same treatment in public and high school.

My son's behaviour at home was mirroring how he is treated at school. His aggression towards his brothers comes from a need to release built up energy surrounding the circumstances with his friends.

When children (or adults for that matter) behave in a way that compromises another persons integrity and self esteem, they are simply acting out an experience they are having somewhere else in their life that mirrors the situation they are creating with others.

Many schools engage in "anti-bullying" programs. These programs place emphasis on bullying only. They do nothing to strengthen the self esteem and confidence of the children. The key to eliminating the cycle of bullying behaviour comes from empowering the children, not focusing on the behaviour itself.

My middle son has endured bullying behaviour since junior kindergarten. Every afternoon he met me at the door with tears because someone had done something upsetting towards him, we would sit down and discuss what the issue was, usually it was something like the other boy didn't like his hair, clothes, lunch, etc. and since my children all dress themselves, make their own lunches and choose their own hair styles these were personal issues for my son.

I would tell my son everyday. If someone doesn't like your clothes you need to ask yourself "do I like my clothes?". If the answer is yes then everything is good. If the answer is no then you have a problem, but you do not have a problem until you answer no to your own question. I know he used this on multiple occasions and learned that his opinion of himself is the only one that mattered. We even came up with a theme song that would empower him when he heard it.

He is now in grade 7. He said to me the other day "you know Mom, I love all the kids that I hang around with, we have so much fun and we really support one another, it is so nice. And the "cool" kids that were bullying us before don't have a large group anymore, my friends and I have the largest group in our class. It's funny how that turned out". He is acutely aware that the change in his reaction to the behaviour diffused the situation and he has come out on top.

I coached my son to self-empowerment and he defeated the bullying behaviour. It was a rough few years of doing this with many setbacks and triumphs. He was a willing participant and was seeking change, I believe that all children (and adults) can be coached in this way, they can be coached to look for answers within themselves first to determine how they are feeling about the situation.

When we find ourselves within a bullying situation we rarely look into ourselves because we fear that we will find that the person offering insults or who are questioning our right to be who we are, are right in what they are saying. We feel like they have the inside scoop and their behaviour fuels our limiting beliefs about ourselves.

We all have the right to be who we are. We all have the right to a life filled with the support and love of our friends and family. And our children have the right to become self-empowered.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Have a little faith

There's a saying that goes something like "you can please some of the people some of the time, and most of the people most of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time".

I thought of this saying this morning as I was checking my facebook account. As I was reading a quote from a good friend I noticed someone had placed a message in the comment section that stated how they were appalled at the amount of attention that the people of Haiti are receiving right now. This woman went on to say how it was basically unfair that there are people who are living in our own country who need our assistance as they too are poor, hungry and without homes.

And not long ago I had come across a comment left by someone that had read my blog that stated how he was irritated at the way people living in this country and the US complain about their life situations when there was extreme devastation in Haiti and all of our focus should be on them. He went on to say that the people without food, shelter and money in Western countries are unmotivated to change their situation.

I'm not quite sure that ranting and raving about either of these arguments accomplishes much of anything in the long run. Except that it puts a lot of negative, useless attention on the situations at hand.

I understand the frustration of not being able to help more than offering donations here and there throughout the day. Some people have stepped up and gone over to Haiti to help and some people in our community step up every day to manage programs for the homeless in our cities. And beyond that all that the rest of us can do is offer our prayers and understand that nothing is in vain, that in every thing there is a purpose.

There are many worldly events to be cranked up about, however if we dwell only on what is not being done either here or there, we are only fueling that confusion and as a collective consciousness we send out to the Universe that not enough is being done and so more of that happens.

I don't read a lot of news, I don't watch a lot of tv. And I believe by doing this and limiting the visuals of the devastation I can focus my heart on sending love and not getting over anxious about a situation I can not physically do anything about. I can and do however offer my prayers and healing energy to those circumstances, sending out a ripple effect into the world.

So, let's instead focus our attention on what IS being done in every circumstance.

We are human's learning how to create peace in this world, there was not a manual written to tell us step by step how to go about changing all the things we believe need to be changed. We will stumble, and we will make mistakes so that we can learn more, for the next opportunity will surely come to us to try again.

We just need to breathe and have faith that all that is being done now will one day lead us to a life of heaven on earth.

I spoke to a woman the other night who was so excited about what was being done for Haiti. The television programs that have raised countless millions of dollars to assist in rebuilding what was lost. She thought it was absolutely fabulous all that was being done. Her enthusiasm was infectious.

The devastation in Haiti opened the hearts of millions of people around the world.

Something that might not have otherwise happened.

There's a blessing somewhere in that.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Meditation Magic

Meditation for families just might be the secret ingredient to raising our children with a greater sense of focus and well being.

Meditation exercises have been proven to alleviate stress and anxiety, frustration,fear, anger, restlessness and much more!

A carefree childhood has become a thing of the past.

As adults we often think of childhood as a time with no worries, responsibiltiies, obligations and cares.

But if we really think back to our own childhood we know that that is not true. Stress affects children too.

We live in a world filled with exaggerated media coverage of world events, an increased rate of bullying experiences, financial struggles within the family and a high rate of divorce, with which all contribute to the stress that children feel on a daily basis.

Families can practice meditation together and benefit immensely. Bringing a stronger bond of love and acceptance into the family circle.

The benefits of meditation are many:
Reduced prolonged stress
Reduced Anxiety
Reduction in the symptoms of ADD/ADHD
Calmer sense of being
Ability to sleep regularly and well
Reduced Aggression
A deeper sense of relaxation
Improved concentration and focus
Enhanced Creativity
Clearer memory
Greater self awareness
Better ability to deal with stress as it comes
Increased Tranquility
A healthier mind and body
A lower risk of possible future health problems

It is important for us as parents to give our children the tools they need to see them well into the future.  We are very good at keeping them busy, getting them involved in a variety of daily activities, we need to realize that they need a balance of quiet time of acceptance as well as activity to ensure a balanced spectrum of health.

Participating as a family assists the children in feeling supported in their well being.  And Mom and Dad benefit greatly as well.

It's a win-win situation!

Beliefs unLIMITED

This past week I attended an event and the conversation at the table came around to beliefs.  Where they come from and how they affect our lives in good ways and in not so good ways.

I find beliefs extremely interesting actually and can pinpoint several that affect me almost daily.

We are all walking around, living our lives based on a foundation of limiting beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.

What I find most interesting about beliefs is the extreme affects they have upon our physical, mental and emotional health.  Many ailments in the physical body originate with a belief.  Money worries originate with a belief.  And depression, anxiety and fear all originate with a belief.

Your limiting beliefs about yourself can have 2 different effects.  They can either paralyze you to the point where you don't move forward in anything because of your limiting belief.  Or you over exaggerate your actions and words on every aspect of life for fear that someone will actually see the "truth" of what lies beneath the facade.

I put the word "truth" in quotations because in our minds our limiting beliefs are the truth.  This could not be farther from the real truth about yourself, however we have believed this about ourselves for so long that is now the "truth" inside of our minds and either we will live out that truth or we will try to hide it from the world.

Either way, this can be exhausting!

We've all experienced this at one time or another (or on multiple occasions).  During conversation someone is presented with a perspective that is different from their own, instead of rolling it around in the heart and brain to see if it fits, they immediately jump into a fit of anger, defensiveness and frustration.  It's quite funny to watch.  You can tell how strongly their own beliefs are affecting them by how they react to something outside of that belief system.  I have often witnessed people's bodies go rigid, mouth clenched, jaw set ready to attack, their whole body language changes.  On the flip side someone who has a lot of fear based beliefs will shrink and cease talking altogether.

Almost like they are back in their child bodies experiencing the exact moment when someone questioned their behaviour and set that belief in motion.

As children we grow up being told all sorts of things about ourselves, other people and life.  We take everything that is said to us to heart because we are in a trusting state of mind at that point, we trust all the adults and peers around us and look to them for advice and counsel.

It's okay to not accept someone else's perspective on something.  In fact, ideally we all need to be taking more time to consider what feels right to us (or wrong for that matter) so that we are not filling ourselves with useless limiting beliefs, however with that being said, right in this moment your own perspective and judgement is clouded by the beliefs that were fed to you when you were an infant and child.  All it takes is for one person to mention something unpleasant about your behaviour, a life event or another person and BOOM! you've got a limiting belief. 

We've all heard things like "don't run your going to fall and hurt yourself" "Money doesn't grow on trees you know" "why can't you be more like your sister/brother".

Beliefs can also be instilled non-verbally.  Children will base their beliefs on another's actions and their perception of those actions.

So, how do we move away from these limiting beliefs and start to create a new set of positive beliefs that can propel us to living a successful life full of joy and contentment?

First of all you can ever be too old to deflate a limiting belief.  We are alive until the day we are not and therefore the potential is at it's maximum until that time.

I also believe that it is essential to remove yourself from the people who feed your limiting beliefs most often.  Most of the people in our lives have our best interest at heart and will warn us against all sorts of "dangers", not allowing us to take the risk and determine the outcome for ourselves.  This feeds the limiting belief that we can't do something and keeps us in a state of perpetual procrastination and misery. 

If you cannot remove yourself from them, then at least change the way see that person.  You can begin to see them in a sympathetic way, as they too are also trying to figure out their life while looking through belief tinted glasses.  They are in the same situation you are in and they are channeling their beliefs to you.  You can nod generously while allowing the words to fall flat on the floor and then go about your business they way you desire to do that.

Find a group of people who are positive and supportive of everything you do.  Create a new community of people so that when you are in a space of doubt and limitation you can access someone who can buoy your enthusiasm and cheer you on to the next level.

Watch your words!  Become aware of why it is you speak the way you do to others and yourself.  This is the best way of identifying your limiting beliefs.  When someone compliments you what is your reaction?  Fear that they will discover the "truth" about you, disbelief in what they are saying, shame?  If you don't react to a compliment with a smile and a gracious Thank you with a deep belief that what has been said is true, then you are living with a limiting belief.

Take this to the next level and challenge yourself to speak nothing but positive things one day at a time.  As you do this you strengthen the real truth that lies within you that we are all loving beings and that there are no limitations in this life. 

Everything is infinitely possible.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Apology NOT accepted!

I am an apology-a-holic!

I would in the past, excuse myself, apologize and change my opinion if my opinion didn't suit the majority in almost all situations.

As children we are taught to apologize to people whom we have wronged, but sometimes I think it goes too far.  A friend of mind described a situation where her son was asked to apologize for something he did to his uncle.  Everyone was expecting an apology from the little boy who was obviously upset over the situation, no one was focused on the fact that the uncle (who I might add should know better) was behaving in a way that supported the boy's retaliation.  Hmmmm.  My friend stood her ground and did not pressure for an apology much to the criticism of her family.  I applaud her!

When I think of all of the things I have apologized for in the past, it makes me cringe.  All the times I would offer my opinion and then instantaneously take it back (or better yet not share my opinion at all).  I've gone almost so far as to tell the entire world that I am nothing more than a brainless kook and that I am terribly sorry that I am occupying space here on earth. 

Not too long ago, I dug out letters that my husband has kept from our dating years.  I was 16 at the time, my parents were separating and I was the oldest which meant most of the time I was the one being blamed for their lives falling apart (truthfully, I was just the distraction, or surrogate for the blame and shame they felt for their own failings in their marriage, but that's a whole other blog post).  Anyway, in each and every letter I am begging my now husband for forgiveness.  For what?  I haven't a clue.  Probably because I ate the last chip (something I would definitely do!)

The point is that I can remember being apologetic all of my life!  I can remember not offering an opinion because I knew the ramifications of that within my family. 

This behaviour at 16 definitely continues to inhabit my life in the present moment.  Little did I know at the time, but I was setting up a system where anything that happened, whether I did it or not, no matter how trivial, I would apologize, let my hubby or whoever else off the hook and continue along a path of self loathing, humiliation and guilt, kicking myself for doing whatever terrible thing I think I did.

I would beg him for forgiveness, sometimes offer some sort of sexual favour to seal the deal so that he wouldn't kick my sorry ass to the curb and promise to never do whatever it was I did again.  I was never specific in my letters, I think subconsciously I felt a need to apologize for all that I was so that he would continue to love me and he would forgive me for being such a pathetic imp.

I was so desperate then, to have someone love me, that I would do anything to have it and keep it.  I needed to feel wanted and loved, supported and protected.  I never felt that growing up and so as I developed into a young woman I felt like I needed to do whatever it took to maintain what I had whenever I had it. 

My husband is the most loving man on the planet, he probably didn't see a need for me to apologize, however on some level it made him feel superior and worthy and so the situation continued day after day.

We have now been married for 18 years.  And I have come to a point in my life where I no longer feel the need to apologize for everything, which is an interesting turn of events in a household where I do all of the apologizing.  It causes quite a stir I'll tell you.  I take ownership when it feels right and is warranted of course, but the rest of the time it's a non issue and I have begun to recognize instances where I am put in a position where the other person wants me to apologize and there is pressure to do so, it is an uncomfortable place to be, which is great because somewhere in my being I am recognizing that it is not right to be pressured for an apology.  It must come from the heart and not attached to a price tag.

Anyway, I guess what I'd like to say is I wish someone would have said to me in one of my apologizing for nothing moments "Apology not accepted.  Because you have nothing to apologize for, you are simply perfect the way you are, you are not malice or manipulative, you live from your heart and that needs no apology EVER!"

Can you imagine saying that to your child the next time he/she spills a cup of milk all over the floor?  Or when he/she brings home a grade lower than the one you were expecting. 

In those moments, (and you know this because you were there once) they are feeling shame and guilt already, your expectations for them to apologize for their "mistakes" only exaggerate those feelings and cement them into the psyche so that they will last a lifetime longer than they need to.

Monday, January 18, 2010

The list is long, the day is short and still I nap....

I had posted this on my facebook page today....

I couldn't help it....  I knew the list of things to do today was longer than my arm and I did some of them but I felt an overwhelming need to take a nap....  So I did....

Earlier in the day I had an unexpected and unexplainable emotional meltdown.  And because of this I just had to take a nap.

There is something big going on, on this planet of ours.  In case you hadn't noticed.  Reports of people feeling sad, spacey, lost, confused and unfocused are common.  I had a friend explain to me today that she feels fine except that she feels like she is hovering, feet not touching the ground and wondering when it is that she will be allowed back down on earth.

I myself have been experiencing a higher than normal rate of ringing in the ears (my children have also reported this), vibrant dreams, lack of motivation and high levels of fatigue.

When there is a shift so large like the one we are currently experiencing it can seem like we are about to lose our minds.  Our thoughts become scattered and our emotions are on a roller coaster.  Not to mention we can barely keep our eyes open.

The shift in the earth's energies creates natural disasters like the earthquake in Haiti.  These natural disasters are not over, we will experience more and more as the year progresses and with all of that we can expect more of these unusual symptoms.

When there is a disaster somewhere in the world, where many souls go into the light and the earth's core and surface have been affected we feel it down to our inner most consciousness, in every cell and fiber of our being.  This is why we are feeling so weird (that's a technical term by the way) and like we are sometimes moving through mud.

Knowing all of this may make it easier to accept or it may not.  That's up to you.

One way to deal is to rest, whenever possible.  Rest your body, mind and spirit.  Over exerting yourself will only make it worse as you will be fighting a losing battle. 

I find it helpful to place my hands over my heart as much as possible, feeling the energy that is moving within the heart chakra.  The heart is where we have to go right now to cope with the shift and accept the many changes that we are all facing.  We need to see the love within everyone we encounter and everything that is happening in our world.  We need to see life for all of it's gifts, not just the ones we find appealing.

Love Conquers All


I woke up this morning with butterflies in my stomach.  I don't know why they were there.  There is nothing in my day or week that is remotely scary or uncertain.  I treated myself to a mini Reiki session and then got started on my morning routine.  Wake the boys up, keep them on task and get them on the school bus on time.

Everything seemed to be going just fine until an overwhelming sense of loss swept over me.  I had to sit down because the feeling was so strong.  I'm not quite sure where this is coming from.  I have been doing some meridian work on myself and that could have loosened some residual emotion, and the earthquake in Haiti is having an effect on the entire world.  Maybe it was just time for me to release 37 years of junk I've been holding onto.

Either way something very powerful came over me, it felt almost like someone released the cork from a fizzy bottle of champagne or the release of pressure from a can of pop that's been shook up.

The moment I sat down my eyes sprung a leak and I couldn't hold in the heartbreaking sound of sorrow as it came flooding past my lips.  As all this was happening I was feeling so alone and scared, like a young child suddenly abandoned in a strange place.

It didn't last long, 5 minutes at most and I am at present extremely exhausted!

I hope that whatever it was is at peace now. 

I wonder how many of us have been experiencing these odd and unexpected bursts of emotion in the past few weeks.  I would love to hear about it if you have, the more we share, the more we learn and the more we can be at peace with our evolution and all the fascinating symptoms that come along with that journey.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

A Strong Message....

I finally got the opportunity to see the movie "Avatar" tonight.

I have heard lots of great things about this movie from friends.  I have also overheard conversations between those who felt the movie was too long, and other faults they perceived the film to have, my favourite being the argument that the way the people of Pandora "connect" with their horses and birds may have been a little too subjective.

I have to tell you, the impact that this movie and it's message had on me was very strong.

It didn't take me long to recognize the parallel between the world of Pandora portrayed in the movie and our Planet.

The typical human perception that all things are expendable and that because we are human and we are the so called "superior species" that we have the right to take everything we get our hands on in the name of financial gain and societal accomplishments are very clear in this movie and are very clear in our day to day lives here in our current reality.

We think it's okay to overtake entire countries based on our needs for natural resources.  We think it's okay to wipe out entire nationalities because of religious and political views.  We think it is okay to run large machinery into a pristine and pure jungle to harvest resources for the sake of growth and progress.  These things have been happening for ages.

Not too many movies hit me in this way.  I found myself feeling the pain of the natives of Pandora when their home was destroyed by gunfire and explosives.  I felt their anguish when their most sacred place was being threatened by warfare.  And I found myself thinking of all the people who have come before us on this planet and who have been destroyed in the very same way.

I also found a renewed sense of appreciation for the planet in which we live welling up inside of me.  I found myself re-evaluating my understanding of energy and how it works, and how I can impact the world we live in, in a positive way.

Maybe it was the connection that these indigenous people had with their environment that made me reconnect to my inner knowing that this love is real and needs to be embraced by us as humans living on a planet that is full of wonderment and amazement just like the world of Pandora.

Imagine when you walk, you connect with Mother Earth your feet feeding her and her feeding you, imagine that when you meet someone for the first time and you feel a deep connection that you are connected by a band of energy where all of who you are is understood and embraced by all of who they are.  Imagine that with every activity that you engage in you are fully present, and even when you aren't fully present the love and life of the planet is still embracing you and feeding your soul.

Now stop imagining.  In actuality the story of Pandora reflects our story perfectly.  There is a web of connection that few of us are aware of.  An intensely intricate web that keeps us all energetically connected to each other and to Earth.  You are me and I am you!  A delicate balance that we as humans do not understand or respect.  On a daily basis we continuously disrupt the balance with our misuse of our resources and Mother Earth struggles to keep up. 

Our original nature is very much like that of the Pandora inhabitants.  We are not meant to be violent and aggressive, it is against our natural state to participate in such activities.  It's why it takes months and years to train soldiers for combat, it goes against every cell in our body to behave in this way.  We are naturally loving, accepting and pure.

I left the theatre amazed at the strong message that Mr. Cameron was sending out to us through this creation.

I feel extremely appreciative for the effort that was put into this movie, that it portrays the truth of life so beautifully for us.  That we now have something to contemplate, to wrap our little minds around.

And I would have made the exact choice that the lead character ultimately made.  I would have embraced the people of Pandora, given my human life to transform myself into one of them and reunite myself with the being that I was meant to be.  In fact we are all faced with this choice, multiple times in our lives.  We always have the choice to choose our natural, divine, loving and respectful way of being over the selfish, ignorant, egotistical human program.

Love Conquers All!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Alternative Healing

There's something very interesting about talking to people about their health.  They want to TALK about it, but they rarely want to DO anything about it.

I rarely bring up the subject in conversation since, as a Reiki practitioner I tend to become a little too passionate (if there is such a thing) about the way people treat themselves.  But usually those who know me well and know what I do will bring up the topic of their health, maybe to pick my brain or maybe just to drive me crazy (smile), either way the conversation almost always looks like this.....

Them:  I can hardly walk, my arthritis is so bad.  I have trouble sleeping too.  Do you think what you do could help me?

Me:  I'm sure it could if you were willing to commit to more than one session (smile).

Them:  Well, what about headaches, would it work for a headache?

Me:  Yes, any pain is affected by Reiki.

Them:  Oh yeah.......LONG PAUSE........How much do you charge?

Me:  $50/hour.

Them:  Oh really...(disappointed look on face)

Me:  silence

Them: can you guarantee me that it will work?

Me:  No, I cannot guarantee that you will allow yourself to heal (smile)

Them:  Well, I guess it's worth a try right?  I mean I'm at the end of my rope here and I'll try just about anything right now.  I'll see if I have extra in my next cheque and I'll call you to book an appointment.

Me:  Yes, when you feel you are ready, just give me a call.... (smile)

Here's the thing.  These people NEVER call! 

When I was new at practicing Reiki, I would become a bit offended if people didn't call after these conversations.  I felt like it was personal.  Why wouldn't people want better health?  I quickly learned that it doesn't have anything to do with me or what services I have to offer, some people simply don't see the value in alternative healing techniques.

I'm not quite sure why.  Over the years I have asked many people what keeps them from seeking help outside of the medical community, since most times they have been back and forth to the doctors and there is no resolution in sight.  Some say it is because it's unfamiliar, that they need more education, for most it is the money factor and for still some it is because they simply would not know what to say or do if they tried it and it worked.  Many of the people I have worked on over the years have managed to explain their healings away on other things.  It's quite funny actually.

Here's a message for all of you out there who have had a conversation like the above with a healer that you know (and I am speaking truly from my heart about this, because it is something we need to overcome as a society because our health care systems are literally collapsing around us).

We are healers.  We choose to become healers because we have a great need to assist the betterment of humanity.  I have never met a healer who didn't have his/her client's best interest at heart (there may be some out there that don't, however I have not met them).  Whatever we charge as a fee we most likely agonized over for months before settling on something we felt comfortable with and that our client's could afford.  We are interested in helping you live your best life and we are not out to take you for a ride one session at a time.  Our time is valuable and so we must charge a fee, or have some sort of exchange of energy with regards to the session (I have been known to swap pie, tupperware, hair cuts, artwork, hand analysis and other services for sessions). 

We can and will do all that is possible within our modality of interest to help you overcome whatever it is you wish to overcome.  If we cannot help you, we will refer you to someone who we feel may have better luck.  Because everyone is individual, everyone will respond individually to different techniques.  But YOU need to show up.  YOU need to take charge of your health. No one can do this for you, it is your responsibility.

The medical community is of great importance in our society, and rightfully so.  I certainly cannot remove your gall bladder.  However, if you are in a situation where you are in constant pain and the medical community has no answers for you, you are frustrated and tired of living this way, then it is time to look beyond the medical community, find an alternative healer that you trust and are comfortable with and allow them to work on you.

Heart attacks are expensive!  Back injuries are expensive!  Cancer is expensive!  Death is expensive! 

Alternative healing modalities are NOT expensive because they create well being within the body and in most cases can reduce or eliminate the possibilities of the three above mentioned ailments (and a lot more), if you and your body are in agreement to that healing.

I welcome feedback about this post.  Whether you are a client and you have a reason for why it has taken you so long to give alternative healing a try.  Or you are a healer and have experienced this and have a solution for it.

It is my belief as I mentioned above that our health care systems are taxed out.  There are waiting lists as long as the great wall of China.  There are no answers for medical mysteries and there are far too many people living life with excruciating physical, mental and spiritual pain.  Right now many alternative modalities are not covered by insurance companies and yes that makes it hard for people to access these types of treatments. 

However soon we will not have things like OHIP to cover any of our medical needs because it is simply becoming too expensive for us to keep up with.

Spending a small amount now in order to create better health, will in the long run save you from much more expensive medical costs that you will indeed have to cover.

Energy healing techniques address the root cause of the problem, not just the symptom.  So in time the reason for the ailment is gone and you no longer need to treat it, it simply is no longer there.  Time frame varies from person to person of course and no one can know ahead of time how long that will take.

An energy healing session is an investment in your health and your future.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Tipping the scales

I'm going to hazard a guess that I am not alone in feeling like I don't belong some days.

I have never felt like I belonged.

How many times have you looked at someone who seemed confident, on track and living their purpose and find yourself thinking of how much you wish you could be that person or at least possess the qualities it takes to live an exceptional life.

I have always felt like I am searching for that place that embraces me wholly and nurtures my core being.  And I have spent all of my 37 years comparing myself to other people (in the sense that everyone had something that I don't), wondering why it was that I was not blessed with the talent, skill, focus and stamina to be successful in life.

By describing myself did I just inadvertently describe you?

We've spent our whole lives living up to other people's expectations only to find that those expectations feel uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of thong underwear 2 sizes too small???  (yikes there's an image).

There's a reason why our lives feel uncomfortable and why it is that we feel we don't belong where we are - it's because we don't!  Plain and simple....  We don't fit.  No matter where you are right now, if you are feeling a need to run screaming for your life in the opposite direction then it is time to take notice of that and figure out why it is that you feel like a square peg in a round hole and change it!

You're going to say "I hate my job, I don't belong there, but I can't just quit my job because there are bills to pay and babies to feed, and ..............."  There is a simple solution to that dilemma my friend.  What is it you are passionate about - ignore the job for a moment, what is it that really makes your boat float?  Is it painting, drawing, dancing, golfing, hiking, biking, reading......

We spend too much time in the "I don't belong here and so I have to be miserable about it" phase in life.  We give our lives to our jobs and not to ourselves.  Pay yourself first is the term I love.  Go to work, be productive there, but then pay yourself for doing it.  Take 1-2 hours/day and do something you enjoy, something that makes you feel like you are experiencing a little taste of heaven.

We feel like we don't belong in our skin and in our lives because we have tipped the scale over to the side where things are not fun.  Our true being, our true nature and our true purpose on this planet is to experience and enJOY those experiences!  period.  There's no magic formula, no 12 step program to get you there.  Find your balance.  It looks different for different people.  Some people absolutely love to work (I am NOT one of them, but thankfully my husband is!) and that's great for them, but for the other 98% of us we need to have some serious play time thrown in to keep ourselves sane!

Take a trip down memory lane and unearth the excitement that you used to participate in.

When you draw the scales back into balance there will no longer be room for feeling like you don't belong. 

You will feel vibrant and alive, you will feel like you've been given a life transplant.

Let Go

I will be speaking in February for a local Women's group.

The Topic is Let Go....Your Heart Matters.

I have to say that I think "letting go" is a staple of evolution.  There simply is no way that you can move forward if you are not willing to take a serious look at your life and let some things go that don't belong.

I'm reminded of that Sesame Street Song/Game "One of these things is not like the other".  This song would be appropriate to use as you are going through your life inventory.

You must have experienced at one time or another letting go of something, an emotional response to a situation, a stagnant or toxic relationship, a career, stuff out of your closets or whatever and found that once you had completed that task something wonderful came into being in your life.  It happens all time, except I'm not sure we fully recognize and appreciate it.

I look at these happenings as the Universe handing us a gift for being so diligent in letting go.  For being such a good student in the school of life.

Letting go is a key component to personal growth and it has strong roots in being the first step in the discovery of loving yourself.

It also has to be my most favorite thing in the world.  Some people hold onto stuff their entire lives, I don't.  I never have.  I have always had a strong desire to get rid of stuff.  Clothes that no longer fit, things we haven't used in a while (this drives my kids crazy).  It's just stuff, and you always know where to get more if you really need it that badly.

We can spend our entire lives accumulating stuff, bogging ourselves down with the weight of that accumulation.  I believe if you live in a cluttered and stuff infested home, your body, mind and life will resemble that same chaos.  It's almost like every day when you wake up and go about your business you are packing all that stuff onto your shoulders and you end up carrying it around all day long with you.  It can be exhausting!

So letting go is essential for health, happiness, well-being and vitality.  But how do you let go?  How do you cut ties with stuff when you are so afraid of being without?  Baby steps...

One of the first places to start is with stuff around your house that no longer "belongs".  Maybe you have changed decor in the last few years, or maybe you have moved but you still have boxes of stuff that you haven't even opened.  If you haven't touched, looked at or thought about those boxes of old decorations and stuff for at the past 1 to 1 1/2 years you can safely send it to your donation box knowing that whatever is in those boxes is stuff you definitely no longer need. 

You will find that as you do this process, starting with stuff you have stored away and moving into your every day living environment you will find that it gets easier and easier.  If you are having difficulty it would be wise to have a friend help you out and push you along in your endeavour to free yourself from the binds of clutter.

You have to remember that it isn't just de-cluttering.  This is a process of complete healing and it may not be easy, you may become emotional over the task, you may feel overwhelmed and anxious.  Allow yourself to feel those feelings and ask yourself where they are coming from.  Becoming aware of why it is that you "need" to be surrounded by stuff and why it is so hard to let go is crucial in ending the cycle that you have found yourself in.  It is crucial in becoming a stronger individual.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Child Within

Have you ever considered what your inner child is like?

When was the last time you explored this aspect of yourself?

Lots of people are afraid of diving into a relationship with their inner child, I think because we feel there are deep, dark secrets laying in there.  And there may be.  But that's no reason not to create a relationship with a vital part of yourself!

I have read so many books on self help and about how to live a full and happy life and how to become successful (yawn, boring!) and not many of those books (if any) touched on the fact that you can not, will not and shall not have what you want and need in life if all the aspects of yourself are not in full operation mode.  This means your inner child!

We can talk all day about balancing and clearing chakras, cleansing and repairing your aura, eating healthy and exercising, but without the child aspect of yourself operating at a healthy level you will be working constantly on all these other things and will find that you never truly make headway.

I'm not talking about reverting to sucking your thumb, although you can if you want to.  But when was the last time you played?  When our children are young we play quite often, and as much as we enjoyed ourselves it was sometimes forced play.  Our children needed our attention and so we gave them some of it and engaged in playtime all the while thinking about the gazillion things that needed to be done around the house!  We were not fully present in that play time.

To engage, nurture and build a relationship with your inner child you need to set aside unforced, unpredictable, uninterrupted play time!  You need to say to your inner child "here I am, come and play with me", you need to feel his/her joy and excitement at having the opportunity to play and last but not least you need to open your mind and heart and be willing to receive all that comes from this amazing relationship.

This takes some practice.  I mean what if someone saw you coloring with crayons???  Hmmmm, they would have something to say I bet.....  Who cares!  Invite them to join you, it might be the best thing you do for them!

You will notice things about yourself when you begin to support your inner child.  You will be quick to find humour in almost every situation, you will have more energy, you will take better care of your body and get more exercise, your creativity level will go through the roof and you will feel strong and balanced.

You will feel all these things about yourself because you will at last be a complete and whole person!

And for those of you who are afraid of the emotional baggage that may come along with this relationship, let me tell you something, your inner child doesn't really want to relive any of that stuff, your inner child wants to know that he/she is safe and that you are now an adult that will protect he/she from danger and harm.  As an adult you know where the hurt is within yourself, you know the details, the agony and the anger.  Your inner child doesn't need to relive all of this because you are already working it out in your daily life.  The healing is in the awareness not in the reliving.  Awareness is key!

To think or not to think......

I found this great quote (author unknown)

"Imagine what your life would be.....if you started to think for yourself!"

How many people do you know that could use this advice?  No need to name names!

Whether you're intimidated by someone, don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, afraid of failure or just plain feel you have to follow the "rules" to keep the peace you may feel like you never get the opportunity to think for yourself.

We continuously pack our own thoughts away neatly because there is someone with a stronger opinion than ours making all the decisions.  And when the time comes where we actually have the opportunity to express a thought or opinion, we are totally amazed at how incredibly brilliant we are!

My goodness, why do we keep quiet for SO long?

Have you ever been to a gathering and there are some strong personalities in the group and you are having a discussion, one of the strong personalities states a "fact" (not a known fact, just their fact) or makes a suggestion and everyone quiets down because they disagree with what was said, no one says a word and you just know what they are thinking but they don't want to say it?

Just so you know, I would totally be one of those people keeping my thoughts to myself, and looking around the room wondering who was going to speak up over this issue. 

I used to do it as a kid all the time.  In class when the teacher asked for an answer I would slide down in my seat, stare at my knees or pretend to be concentrating really hard on the book in front of me (trying to make it look like I was thinking of an answer).  And somewhere inside of me I always felt disappointed when I wasn't called upon.  I never felt smart as a kid (that was my sisters domain), I was self conscious and shy and wouldn't have said shit if I had a mouth full of it!

However, in 2009 (that dreaded year) I realized that my practice of ignoring my thoughts (brilliant thoughts at that!) wasn't doing me or the people around me any good.  You know how the Chinese have different animals for different calendar years?  I would have to say that 2009 for me was the year of the MOUTH!

I started step by step opening my mouth just for the heck of it, to see what would come out if I actually allowed my thoughts to form into tangible words.  I found that I really do like what I have to say and that there are people who want to hear my thoughts.  Go figure!

I think our biggest fear about sharing our thoughts is that of judgement from others.  I think ultimately we are afraid that the sky will fall down upon us if we actually speak our mind and so we avoid it like the plague.

You know how many times I have written a blog post, only to erase the whole thing or let it sit in my draft file for months?  Many.  The truth is I am somewhat afraid that what I have to say won't be well received, or may offend someone or may in fact be just plain boring. 

The reality being (and I am aware of this at my core) that if someone has a strong response to anything I write about here, there is a shift occurring within that person and I need to congratulate myself for putting something out there that challenges people's perception.

And so as restitution to myself for 37 years of keeping my mouth shut, I will erase no longer!  I will step into my higher genius and speak about what moves me, whether you like it or not!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Expand your perception

What if life as you know it was all an illusion?

What do you think would happen?  How do you think you would continue on with that knowledge?  Could it and would it possibly make your life....less stressful.....less tense.....more fun?

I have been challenging my thinking and my beliefs about our "reality" lately and am finding it fascinating at how it has changed my perception of everything around me.  I catch myself laughing hysterically at things that I normally wouldn't laugh at, the absurdity of life itself and how we give so much energy to things that are infinitesimally small in the grand scheme of the Universe.

My awareness of people's emotional intensity has been heightened in this process.  We've all experienced this same intensity and I can certainly relate to the feelings and the after effects of this intensity on our bodies and minds.  But what if the very thing you are giving so much intense energy to isn't real? 

What if the extra slow driver in front of you was just your imagination, an opportunity for you to find the humour in the situation and diffuse your anger?  An opportunity to change the way you react to this inconvenience.

What if your life is just a movie that is playing and you are nothing more than the actor/ress in a leading role?

Just a thought.