Topic of the Day

The latest topic of conversation in our home has been all about stepping into your power aka "stop taking shit from other people and acting like a victim expecting someone else to fix things for you".

Hubby has been dealing with some workplace 'bullying' issues for the past 9 months or so.  You know the drill, employees having a conversation and then stopping abruptly when you walk in the room, ignoring you when you speak to them, keeping vital information about the operation of the building from you, accusing you of coming on too strong when there is an issue at hand.  Oh and my personal favourite screaming that you are a 'fucking asshole' then telling your manager that you are having difficulties at home to cover your sorry ass then never having to apologize for your behaviour.

Ahem.  Sorry I get a little passionate about this subject.

Isn't all of this behaviour 'kindergarten 101'?

This behaviour isn't the real problem in my opinion. 

The real problem is that hubby has decided that these people are right.  That they know him better than he knows himself and that he isn't the capable leader he once thought he was.

When I ask him what he feels he needs to do to get back in the groove of things he answers "get my confidence back".

Wrong answer.

Doesn't the thought of 'getting your confidence back' seem a bit daunting?  I mean, how do you actually do that in an environment that is breeding anger and resentment?

If you think you've 'lost your confidence' where you do you think it went and who do you think stole it from you?

Nope.  No matter what situation you are in, your confidence, skills, natural born qualities have never disappeared.  Fear has simply come in and thrown a sheet over it so that you can't see them temporarily.

I'm sure lots of people can relate to feeling just the way my hubby is feeling.  So, what do you do about it?

Can you remember a time in your life when you felt alive, passionate and purposeful?  I reminded my husband of the times he's spent starting up new treatment facilities.  How did that feel?  Did he question himself?  What was the outcome?  Was he respected for his role or was he degraded?  Was it hard for him to step into this role and get the job done?

Then we went through the steps of what is happening now, what it feels like, how it differs from those moments of triumph and purpose.  Has it been difficult to keep your mouth shut and let these people run all over you?

Now, if you could make a choice to be the person in the first scenerio or the second what would you choose without hesitation?

Of course, you'd choose #1.  It's who you are!  It's who you were put on this earth to be!

So maybe the key to changing your situation around is simply a choice to do so.  No homework, no extra reading, no programs or training.  Just a choice.

To Be or Not To Be.....  THAT is the question!

And that fear that is masking your greatness?  Well, it's just an illusion.

If he steps into his power what is the worst that can happen?  He won't lose his job because apparently you can scream 'fucking asshole' to your superior and not get fired for it.  So that's not a legitimate fear.

Your co-workers are already behaving as though you murdered their best friend and then set him on fire, so the fear of disconnecting from them is illegitimate as well.

And let's say he will need to find a new job, well there will be a new job waiting for him because the Universe gives to those who give empowerment to themselves without hesitation.  That's how it works.

So to everyone on the planet who seems to be up against a brick wall, where there seems to be no support or 'easy way out', instead of worrying about it and wondering what you can do to change it.  Just make a choice to be you (not the you others think you should be), the you that is magnificent and wise.  The you that knows just what to do when you need to do it.

And above all remember this:  You cannot live your life based on another persons emotional wellbeing.  You cannot walk around doing and being the person that will least ruffle feathers.  It just doesn't work and this world is in need of some feather ruffling.

Are you empowered?

The other day a search into some old emails for information I needed brought me to an article that was written about empowerment and what it means to be truly empowered.

Here's the part that really caught my attention:

"Your usual tendency is to try and help another person. If a person comes to you with a problem or a situation where they just need a little push, absolutely you are right there to help them to go in the direction that will be the highest for them.  What about true empowerment? What if you empowered that person so they could leave you? What if you empowered that person so they could go against the work that you were doing? How much do you trust humanity? How much do you trust your spirit?"
exerpt from Beacon's Lightworker newsletter

Wow!

I think this message is worth giving some thought to.

Most of us believe empowerment comes from keeping things to yourself.  That we will get further ahead if we keep what we know to ourselves.

Further along the article reads:

"If you trust the process, you will begin empowering everyone every chance you get because even if they leave you, even if they are not in your field, even if there is no connection whatsoever, that has changed your energy more than it has changed theirs. This is the key that most of you will find will bring you to that part you brought from Home, that piece of the puzzle that all of you have been looking for that you call your passion, your purpose, your intent and your path."
exerpt from Beacon's Lightworker newsletter


This is a great message!

I have always loved empowering others to do what I do and I couldn't always figure out why. 


There is an amazing feeling of joy that grows inside of me when I teach someone Reiki or how to trust their intuition or how to create art from the heart.  It makes me smile and do a happy dance when a student of mine has found their 'mojo' after spending an afternoon with me, empowering others is the ultimate high!
 
Go ahead, empower everyone around you!  Heck, teach them how to do just what you are doing in your business.  Give away all your trade secrets (they aren't yours anyway).  Give away your ideas (again, not yours).  Give away your art and teaching techniques.  Give it all away, feel the freedom and pleasure in doing so and bask in the empowerment that comes to you through this act of giving from the heart and soul.
 
You won't regret it....  I promise you that!

Becoming Responsible

This is one of the main points (I believe) of becoming more self aware and spiritually evolved (and by spiritually evolved, I mean more connected to your divine state). 

It is one of the main points to finding true peace and empowerment in your life. 

Becoming responsible for yourself. 

Ask yourself these questions:  Who has responsibility over your happiness?  Your level of self esteem?  Your success?  Your thoughts?  Your goals?  Your dreams?  Your anger?  Your lack of financial independence?  Your relationships?

Very rarely do we accept ownership or responsibility for these things in our life.  How silly is that?  I mean why do we want to give our ability to be happy over to someone who has no idea what happiness even looks like?  Or what about making it someone else's duty to ensure our self esteem levels are at a healthy standard when their own self esteem is suffering?

It's an utterly ridiculous concept and still we see it all too often, don't we?

We put expectations on friends to ensure we are entertained when we are in need.  We complain to our spouses that we aren't happy in the relationship and place the blame on their shoulders.  Our children insist it is you who must find them something to do when they are bored.

Granted, it's a beautiful thing to love someone so much that you try to make them happy, successful, wealthy and fulfilled.  However, it's a much more beautiful thing if you insist on being the person that does this for yourself and encourage those around you to consider the same.

We take a wrong turn in life when we hand over power and control to someone outside of ourselves.  It results in internal and external conflict, marriages fail and friendships implode, people become increasingly miserable and blame everything under the sun on external sources.

This behaviour does nothing more than feed the victim within.  The person inside of us that insists on not taking responsibility for their life absolutely loves being able to blame someone else for their misfortune.

It's not fair when you think about it.  The husband who has been put in charge of his wife's happiness will most surely fail.  There is no room for success since he most likely hasn't got a clue as to what makes her happy (how many women actually know what will make them happy)!

The point is, there is only one person who can be responsible, who has control over your happiness and that person is YOU.

How do you become more responsible?  How do you take charge of your life? 

Here are some tips:

1)  You want to become aware of your emotions in every situation.  Our feelings are our first indicator that we need to explore more deeply.  If you are feeling sad, it isn't because someone caused you to become sad, it is because you placed unfair expectations on another person or experience and the outcome disappointed you, therefore you are responsible for your own sadness.

2)  You want to actively engage in "turning it around".  If Joe is frustrating you because he won't pick up his socks turn it around "Joe should pick up his socks" becomes "I should pick up his socks".  If you want something done and no one is doing it (regardless of your nagging) take responsibility and do it yourself since you are the only one that wants it done anyway.

3)  Remember that no matter what the situation looks like on the outside, people are NOT out to get you, they are NOT out to make your life miserable and there is NOT a personal vendetta against you.  When we get to this place inside of our heads we really have no sense of responsibility for our selves and so it feels like every single person on the planet is against our quest for happiness.  Again, awareness of these thoughts is a great first step because awareness moves us into a new phase of growth and realization.  To get past this you can use the "turning it around" tip.

I have to say that it has been my experience that becoming responsible is not all that hard.  Since the reward is almost always automatic in that you begin to feel empowered and that is where the domino effect starts to happen.

Soon, you will be able to recognize when someone is putting their responsibility on you and you can make the wise decision of not accepting it.  When we accept the responsibility of making someone else happy, or useful or whatever we are perpetuating the problem.

And we all know where that road leads......

Simply J is a self awareness mentor and certified Reiki teacher. 

If you wish to learn more about her work visit www.stateofbeing.ca

Your True Potential

Are you aware that at this very moment there is tremendous potential living inside of you?

Did you know that the reason that you are not living to your fullest potential in this moment is because of a fear that keeps you from fulfilling your desires?

Think about one desire that you have right now in this moment.  I'll wait.......



Okay?

Now think about the one reason that is keeping you from obtaining that goal.......  I'll wait again.....


Now identify which of the 6 basic fears the reason relates to:
a) a fear of criticism
b) a fear of ill health
c) a fear of loss of love of someone
d) a fear of poverty
e) a fear of old age
f) a fear of death


You now hold the answer to why your dreams are not being fulfilled.  You now hold the key to changing your life around one dream at a time.


What does this feel like to you?  Is it empowering?  Does it bring up more fear?  If so, go back to the beginning of the exercise and start again with this new feeling.  Maybe you feel like now that you are aware of what is holding you back you can now make steps towards obtaining your goal?


I realized through this exercise that my fear of criticism is responsible for a minimum of 80% of the mistakes I have made in my life thus far.  80 whopping percent!


Mistakes like not taking a risk when I had the opportunity, not sharing my opinion at a time where my opinion could've changed events, resentment of not enjoying the time when my children were very young, past obsessions with housework, cleanliness, etc.


All of these things (and more) come from my fear of being criticized.

I recognize now that every time I have an idea or desire to do something "different", I get frozen in my tracks.  No progress is made because I simply am too afraid that someone will criticize me.


I want you to experience the amazing feeling that you get when you finally realize the one thing that has been holding you back all this time.  It's like looking at the world from a whole new perspective, now everytime I do, think or say something negative or limiting I can immediately recognize what fear that thought, word or action is attached to.


I did it just last night, no sooner had the words come out of my mouth when I realized what I had said and what exactly I was putting out to the Universe in that moment.  And let me tell you it was not favourable!


This is extremely empowering!  When you become aware you single handedly take the power away from your fear and turn it into an opportunity for change and improvement and ultimately success!


I encourage you all to take some time, write out some mistakes you feel you have made in your life, whether it's the color of the paint on your walls to feeling like you married the wrong person, write it down!  Then grade the mistakes with the above listed 6 basic fears and see how you do.


I would love to hear from you once you have finished this exercise.  It may be the single most important thing that you do in your day!  The insight that you gather about yourself, your life, your current and past circumstances is deepened with this exercise.

One step at a time we can break free from the chains of fear and limitation and awaken our true potential within!

No Matter What!

Recognizing the saboteur's that live within each of us is an extremely important step to realizing our dreams and moving forward to success.

I find that most people don't even recognize that their saboteur has taken control of their life.  We get stuck in our everyday lives and when our circumstances aren't going as planned or aren't as joyful as we would like we often sink into it further without really looking for the reason behind it.  Without realizing that we have the power to change the situation.

How many times a day do you think, feel or act like you are unworthy of whatever it is that everyone else is receiving.  Have you ever bought a lottery ticket and thought "I never win, I don't know why I buy these things"?  Have you ever looked at a well dressed, confident person walking down the street and thought "I could never be like that!"

If you have had these thoughts (or any one of the multitude of negative talk thoughts that go through our minds), you have a saboteur living among you.

I believe that there is one saboteur that lives within you and as you fight your way past it, it shape shifts into another type of saboteur.  The saboteur knows that once you have recognized him that he no longer holds the same power over you and so he changes into something a little bit different.  Sometimes the message is still the same, but the negative self talk that is used is different so that you can't recognize it right away.

The origin of the saboteur is different for everyone of course, depending on your family situation, social status, religious beliefs, etc.

I also believe that you can conquer every single one of the saboteur's that shows up in your life.  It takes time and commitment of course, but with the right support and nurturing it can be done.

I recently stumbled upon another saboteur that was living within me, one that had originally been "you're not good enough".  This one was called "just a housewife and mother" (where has this saboteur been, I am so many other things NOW).  The basic message was still "you're not good enough", however the saboteur put a new spin on it so that I would in effect not realize that I was being sabotaged.

Why do I think conquering these types of thought is important?  Well, imagine a life where you are constantly bombarded by negative self talk.  In this life you can never rise to your full potential, and even if you do you certainly won't enjoy being there because you will be constantly worried that everyone around you will find out that you are "just" or "not good enough".  You will feel like a fraud.

Sabotaging self talk is simply our ego exercising it's control muscle.  Nothing more.  Imagine a 2 year old having a temper tantrum in a grocery store because he/she is not getting what they want.  This is the image I have of my ego!  Then I remember what I did every time my son had a temper tantrum, I either ignored it (don't give that tantrum any more energy or it will never fizzle out) or I removed him from the store completely.  We need to do this with our ego every once in a while.  Show it whose boss.

So how does one go about conquering the saboteur's?

First things first.  Identify the saboteur (it's really not important to find out where it came from, no need to place blame, only a need to rid yourself of the negativity living in your mind).  Give the saboteur a name.  Go further and put an image to the saboteur.  Once I made a saboteur into a monkey and envisioned physically removing him from me and disposing of him.



Another thing was to write the name of the saboteur on a piece of paper, then rip it to shreds.  Adding an affirmation to this exercise is powerful.  Something like "I am good enough and no one can tell me otherwise". 

Adopt the "No Matter What" principle.  (btw, there is a great book out by the same title by Lisa Nichols (The Secret)).  Adopting the No Matter What principle means that you say out loud to yourself, your spouse, your children, friends, the world, whoever will listen that No Matter What you will accomplish what you were put on this earth to accomplish.  That your happiness and your dreams are non-negotiable and nothing will stand in your way.

Great things begin to happen when you take the time to recognize your saboteur's and deal with them effectively.  You will find that your way of life changes, your thoughts, feelings and desires change and you begin to see things coming into your life that you have only dreamed about.

This awareness bridges the gaps between your mind, body and spirit.

When you take back your power over the saboteur's you are empowered and you can clearly focus on what lies ahead.  You are in alignment with your true self.

Blessings!