Wednesday, February 27, 2013

In IT....

This post by my friend Darlene Gudrie Butts over at The Promise struck a chord today.

I wanted to reply to her post and then once I got started I realized that what I really needed to do was create a post of my own (it would have been at least a page long reply!).  For the first time in a long time I am able to articulate in words what I feel in my body.

So here it is.

As I sit everyday in meditation, whether for five minutes of fifteen; I am filled with a desire so strong that it can only be the call of God to be of service.

The feeling that all things are possible.  That every single message that I have heard in the past month has been leading me to this moment.  My heart beats wildly and I feel like I can move mountains.

Then my meditation time ends and I look around me at the world and wonder 'Me?' and 'Can I?' 

I feel like I am dancing on a very thin line and if I make the slightest move to the right or left I will be in IT, fully in IT. 

The IT that God has always known I was purposed for.  The IT that feels so radical and thrilling that it most surely should be reserved for someone with more fame or fortune or success than little old me.  Maybe He's got the wrong Jennifer Merritt...  That MUST be it.

The truth of the matter is that I am scared.  I do know what will happen if I present this IT and I live it with all of my being.  I know the impact it will have and the time that we are living in at this moment is ripe with possibility and my head spins and my knees wobble.  I've always said I would never bungee jump or parachute from a plane and here God has me contemplating something I view as being very similar to both of those crazy stunts!  My heart is already in my throat.  Where did I put that barf bag?

If I take the step, if I do this consciously I know it will feel like a free fall.  I will have left behind all of my fear, expectations and doubt and I will be flying on the winds of Gods breath.  I will have trusted just enough to set things in motion.

I will have trusted that I have been purposed for something magnificent.  I will have trusted in Gods love and faith in me.

Oh boy.


Tuesday, February 26, 2013

My Quest

I love a good quest.  I imagine myself riding a horse with my shining armor on.  My sword at my side, off to slay the dragon. 

My quest?

To find forgiveness in every single act that would normally bring about emotional unrest.

I've been reading that in a perfect Universe such as the one we live in that there is no need for forgiveness.  Nothing is out of place and so there is nothing to forgive.

But it's been my human experience that certain things push buttons, cause emotional upset and sometimes bind us to an experience of victimization.  As a human being experiencing life it seems  that I am experiencing opportunities to find forgiveness.

Whenever I have applied forgiveness in the past, it was accompanied by a deep realization that the person I am really forgiving is myself (there is a laundry list of things I feel I need forgiveness for) and that in doing that I am releasing expectations, embracing my human-ness and opening the door for someone else to do the same.

I'm curious what would happen to life as I know it, if instead of getting caught up in the tide of emotion and fear I took a step back and applied forgiveness to every single situation.  Not just the situations that I myself am involved in but EVERY situation.
Does it matter if I offer forgiveness to someone who has upset my friend?  Does it matter if I offer forgiveness to a total stranger living thousands of miles away who has shown up in the newspaper because of some horrible mistake they have made?  I wonder.

I wonder what the impact on humanity will be if just one of us decides that forgiveness should be an automatic response to everything we would normally view as 'bad'.

It has become apparent to me that forgiveness may very well be the key to connectivity.  If the majority of us are walking around with even the slightest regret that we feel we need forgiveness for we are resisting and blocking connectivity.  How can I possibly connect to another human on the deepest level possible when I am sitting on a mountain of regret, shame and guilt?

Yesterday I posted a blog about forgiving a particular situation.  In the moment that I thought of the words and wrote them down I instantly felt connected to the energy of this person I was offering forgiveness to.  Now, I don't know the person, I don't even know their name; nor do I have all of the details of the circumstances.  I only knew that many people were upset and I thought "well, this is your quest, try it out".  So I did.

The connectivity was instantaneous!

Just one small change in the way we view our lives and in the way we decide how we are going to be the change we want to see in the world can shift everything.

As Panache Desai is quoted as saying "just one person who reaches or acknowledges their full potential can shift the energy of 7.2 billion people". 

We are all connected.

Let the magic begin!


Monday, February 25, 2013

To You

To you; the teacher that made headlines this weekend after the prank you pulled on your grade 8 students.

What an opportunity you have given us.  To find acceptance within ourselves for our own faults.  To find forgiveness in you because we long for forgiveness of ourselves.

I apologize to you for the words and actions of those who feel that they have lived a life of perfection that they feel the need to be judge and jury in this situation.

I apologize to you because humanity has lost it's mind and the only reason why anyone would ever create such a harsh and negative spin around your story is because they themselves feel as though they deserve the harsh and negative for their own past behaviours.

I can't imagine what your life was like this weekend.  The emails, the editorials, the social media bashing.  The sleepless nights. 

I hope you had at least one person, one friend or one stranger tell you that it's going to be okay.

I think of you today as you put one foot in front of the other; as you walk into your workplace, unsure of what you will encounter.

My heart and my prayers are with you because I have been where you are.  I have made mistakes and misjudgements.  I have asked for forgiveness and been denied.  I am tired of living in a world where one little misstep creates judgement, guilt and shame.  I am tired of everyone waiting on baited breath for someone else to mess up so that it gives them the opportunity to shift their focus onto something other than themselves for a moment.

Thankfully, you are only this weeks news.  Someone else will come along and take your place.  Poor soul.

It's laughable that the very people shaming you for what they are calling an act of 'bullying' cannot recognize the role they are playing in perpetuating that cycle.

It's laughable that we could ever stand in judgement of another being on this planet when we are all just trying to survive, moment by moment.

I wonder when we will all wake up and realize that this world will not change unless we begin to change our reactions to these types of situations.


Saturday, February 23, 2013

My Obsession....

"How you look at things is a choice you make.  It is a Free Will Choice that defines who you are and who you wish to be, and how you wish to experience yourself.  You can change your perspective in any situation by changing your mind about how you want to look at it.  You can decide what you want to see, and then, having placed it there, you will find it there."  ~ Neale Donald Walsch

These statements always make me giggle and shout 'Holy Shit!'

What would your life look like if you took this information on as your foundation?

I know what my life has looked like in the past few years that I've been obsessed with this concept!  It looks like forgiveness, empowerment, trust and wisdom.

It never ceases to amaze me the feeling I get when I read the words "You can decide what you want to see, and then, having placed it there, you will find it there."

Do you know how many people on this planet are suffering from the very idea that they have no control over their life?  I used to be one of those sufferers who played the mantra 'oh whoa is me' in my head day after day, year after year.

To understand and embrace the power behind the knowledge that WE ARE CHOOSING OUR CURRENT REALITY AND WE CAN CHOOSE A VERY DIFFERENT REALITY AT ANY MOMENT is the secret to a life fulfilled.

When we believe that we cannot choose, we believe ultimately that we are victims of a life that doesn't care about us.  This is a lie.

I hated living my life as a victim.  I hated the sadness, the confusion, the consistent fog that I walked around in.

Some might say they don't know how to make a new choice or that there are just too many bad things that have happened in the past for them to believe that a new choice could make any difference.  Some might say that this idea is too 'simple' to be effective.  That I'm crazy.

To those and the many others with all kinds of other arguments I say:  Do It!  Have the courage to laugh at the uncomfortable, love at the unlovable, forgive the unforgivable.

Ask yourself this question:  What do I have to lose?

Then ask yourself this question:  What do I have to gain?