Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Hoping for a Miraculous Recovery

My dog Willow has been very sick for about 2 weeks now.  She started off moping around, not looking too thrilled about life in general.  It escalated to not eating, not drinking, drooling non stop, vomitting, withdrawal and randomly staring at walls.  She has taken to peeing by the door and not alerting anyone to her needs most likely because she can't make it up and down the stairs of the deck.  She is lethargic and doesn't engage when spoken to.

The vet didn't have an answer as to why she is behaving this way.  He did blood tests, all of which came back normal and he gave her an antibiotic to cover those bases.  However, things are still the same.

Two nights in a row now I have wondered if she was even going to make it through the night as her breathing seemed to be laboured.

I am treating her to lots of Reiki to help her find comfort, I'm giving her water with a syringe to keep her hydrated and she's still not eating properly, despite efforts at making food more appealing.

I think she is depressed.  I think she has lost the will to live and I can see why.  Where we once lived on a farm where she could roam the open fields we now live in a subdivision with a fenced in yard.  Where she once was able to go wherever and do whatever she now needs to be on a leash for the most part to adventure out of the yard.  Where we once lived in a small home where everyone was readily available, we now live in a house 3X the size of our old one and we tend to be scattered all over the place.

Her environment has changed drastically.  Add to that we gave away her outdoor kennel a couple of weeks ago (coincidence, I think not!) as we were no longer using it (fenced back yard) so now that has been taken away as well.

Common sense would've told me all of this was too much for a dog to process, she seemed to be handling it all well enough and I just wasn't thinking.

Another thing came up yesterday as a good friend of mine was over and was having a look at Willow.  She asked me what it was I was holding onto that would make this dog so sick?  Pets tend to mirror our hidden junk and behaviours.

Of course they do! 

I knew that!  I just....um....forgot.... {weak smile}

We did a couple of rounds of EFT on her, which ended with me in tears over the fact that I realized I have no control over whether my beautiful pup lives or dies.  That no matter what I do to try and save her and bring her back to her usual self I still have no control.

Where else does this relate?  This feeling of having no control, of having to deal with whatever I've been handed....  Hmmmm?

I realized it at 3AM this morning as I was treating Willow to another session of Reiki, that even though the decision to move to a new town was ours to make, and we live in the house we truly wanted and everyone is ecstatically happy about where we are now, there was still a part of me that felt as though someone picked me up and plunked me down here.  Everything was quite quick, we sold our house after only a few short months of it being on the market, and when we sold we had 3 weeks to find a house and move into it.  It all happened so fast that I barely had time to process all of what I was feeling.  In a way I felt that was the way to go about it, now I'm thinking there is this person inside of me that wanted a little validation and I didn't give her the time of day.  And that my friends is EXACTLY how my puppy has been acting lately.  Like she didn't have a choice, like there is no reason to live, like someone just picked her up and plunked her down and didn't even ask her if she was going to like it or not.

This is a major revelation for me (and for Willow).

She woke up this morning with a better appetite, her eyes look brighter, she is wagging her tail and she even went to the front door when someone rang the doorbell this morning!

We might not be out of the woods yet, however, at least I know a difference has been made with my realization and hopefully this translates into a miraculous recovery for Willow....  Hopefully.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Needs vs. Wants

We are all walking around with a list of "wants" in our pockets...  Am I right?

We WANT more money, a new car, a new house, a better job, obedient children, an attentive partner, a housekeeper, a gardener, new decor for the house, a camper trailer, an inground pool, a trip to Egypt, the list goes on and on.

I spent the later part of 2009 making endless lists of goals, lists of mistakes I have made, lists of things I learned from those mistakes, descriptions of my perfect day, lists of things I wanted in life, etc.

All I got from all those lists was....well....lots of paper with lots of writing on them.

To tell you the truth when I was making all of those lists, I couldn't help but think "I'm just picking random $#@! out of thin air, these aren't things I really want" "well, okay if the Universe is going to give them to me then I'm not going to turn them away" "how on earth am I going to actively move towards achieving these things if I don't really want them".

The issue with making these lists is that if you aren't emotionally connected to the items you desire you are not going to see them manifest in your life...

There needs to be some commitment by way of emotional attachment if you want to actively manifest.

Is this a problem?  It may be for some.  If you are writing lists of things you have no real desire for but you feel you need to do it to take action towards something bigger and better, it will be a problem, because you will see the lack of manifestation as a punishment for not doing it right and that will take you further and further away from those desires you listed.

So how do we effectively manifest what we desire?  First, toss the list of wants.

This is a paradigm shift people!  Instead of a list of wants...  Create a list of NEEDS.

Here's an experiment...

Say the word WANT.....  Breathe it in, let it sit in your soul.

Now, say the word NEED....  Also breathe it in and let it sit in your soul.

Do those words FEEL different to you?

When we say that we WANT something, many of us feel unworthy (there are techniques and programs to help you overcome that issue, however I don't believe it will fully correct it). 

The word NEED carries a very different vibration and doesn't have the same guilty feeling affect on us that the word WANT does.

The funny thing that I enjoy about this shift in vibrational wording is that very rarely do we even NEED anything!

In this moment, sitting here typing these words I am perfect, I am comfortable in my chair, I am clothed comfortably and I've just eaten a nice meal with my family.  I NEED nothing.

This isn't always true of course, sometimes I need something and I ask for it out loud.

Try omitting the word WANT from your vocabulary and replace it with the word NEED.  Do this everyday.

I tend to see the Universal God Energy as all loving, caring and supportive.  And so just like a parent with a child, when that child requests something because he/she needs it, then it is given. 

Ask yourself, when you see a child demanding a WANT desire, do you feel like obliging?

I didn't think so....

Walking Through Illusion

How do you start a book review for a book that has changed your life?

When I was approached by Betsy Otter Thompson and asked to write a review for her newest book Walking Through Illusion, I was really excited for the opportunity.

Throughout reading the book, my excitement grew leaps and bounds for all those who will pick it up and read it and for the message it is bringing to humanity.

Set in dialogue format.  Thompson asks all the right questions and the Jesus energy within her heart answers them from a place of pure love, understanding and truth.

Walking Through Illusion isn't a book that you pick up and just read, it is a book that demands connection with emotion and inner searching.  It is a book that will bring you to new understandings about yourself, your life and the people in it.  It is definitely a book you will want to keep handy as you work out life's mysteries.

Betsy Otter Thompson brilliantly combines the wisdom of Jesus with short notes of her own journey, as well as offers questions to help you realize your own truth at the end of each chapter.

The timing of which I received this book was no coincidence and immediately upon opening it up answers to my deepest questions were revealed.

For me, reading this book was like being transported back in time, sitting in front of Jesus himself as he teaches us about Love, Forgiveness and the Ultimate Truth.

Often times I have felt that Jesus' teachings are overlooked in our daily lives.  Walking Through Illusion proves that the teachings he offered in his earthly lifetime are still alive and are entirely relevant to our lives today, in fact the information within this book may be all the answers you will ever need along your journey.

I found Walking Through Illusion a spiritual practice.  The book demanded my attention only when the timing was perfect and with each chapter I found myself processing the information at a very deep spiritual level, in turn changing how I saw my myself within my life.

It is my belief that Walking Through Illusion can propel us all to a deeper understanding of ourselves and our role here on this planet.

Thank you Betsy for the opportunity to review Walking Through Illusion.  It was my greatest pleasure.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

My Meditation Practice

I've never been able to effectively incorporate meditation into my day. There is always something "better" to do when my eyes pop open in the morning.

Of course I realize there is nothing better for you that taking a few moments to center yourself before you start the day. I just haven't been disciplined enough to do it consistently.

I'm what you might call a "crisis meditator". Sometimes meditating only as a last resort and only when something was going "wrong" in life.

So when I saw that the Chopra Center was having a 21 day Meditation challenge I jumped at the chance. Today marked the beginning of the challenge.

You sign up for the challenge and each day the Chopra Center sends you the meditation for the day. They start small and gradually become longer and longer until you are sitting for at least 30 minutes in meditation.

21 days creates a new habit. And regular meditation is one I would definitely like to create.

I find that in the past my mind wandered alot when I meditated.

Even when I am engaged in a guided meditation on a cd, my ego quickly jumps in and tells me about all of the things I need to be doing and sitting in a comfortable position accessing my higher self is not one of them!

I do have to say that the few times I have meditated "successfully" in the morning before starting my day, I did find that I was more focused and better prepared for what lie ahead of me. I was more calm and dealt with what life was sending my way with more purpose.

This is what I am looking forward to and really excited about. Becoming more comfortable with a meditation practice that works for me.

I believe there are some things you need to remember when you are beginning a meditation practice. First, it's about mindfulness and breathing, not about how long you can hold a contorted position. Trying too hard to meditate in a way that isn't comfortable will only make you NOT participate.

Second, you wouldn't go to your local gym and try running an hour on the treadmill your first day there. You start small. Try meditating for 10 minutes for the first couple of days and gradually work your way up by a minute each time. Before you know it, you'll be meditating for 1/2 hour at a time without any difficulties.

Third, know that there are all sorts of ways in which you can meditate. Guided, seated meditation is just one. Try gardening, walking, drawing, painting and laughing. No, they aren't the "traditional" meditations but they do bring you to a centered state of being. And I don't know about you but when I am laughing mymind is blank and I am breathing! Just like meditation.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

What I Love About Me!

There are are so many days when I dwell on all of the things that I don't appreciate about myself, that I thought today I would post about the things I really and truly do love about myself (today....).

1) I love that I don't look old enough to have teenagers (well at least that's what people tell me anyway)
2) I love that I hate to cook and love to clean
3) I love that I am always willing to learn something new, even if I choose the hardest method in which to learn it
4) I love that I am an awesome Mom and I can truly say that I have done the best I can for my boys
5) I love that I am still married to the man I fell in love with when I was 10 years old.
6) I love that I love to garden
7) I love that I have tiny feet, cause the cute shoes always fit
8) I love that I know who I am, where my strengths and weaknesses lie
9) I love that I am sometimes crazy
10) I love that I have earned the trust of my friends
11) I love my hair! I have great hair!
12) I love that I can get away without wearing makeup (well I think I can anyway)
13) I love that I finally unearthed my creative potential and indulge in that every so often
14) I love that I'm not afraid to fly in an airplane or with my own wings
15) I love that I am a chocoholic
16) I love that when I am passionate I tend to behave like a raving lunatic
17) I love that it takes me forever to get used to the water temperature in the pool just to get out in 5 minutes 'cause I have to pee
18) I love that I am big busted, since it balances out my big butt...
19) I love that I smile alot and have alot to laugh about
20) I love that when my boys need something, they come to me first
21) I love that I dance, no matter who is watching me (and I don't need to be drunk)
22) I love that everytime I shave my legs I miss the same damn spot!
23) I love that I am a people person
24) I love that I know what I want in life
25) I love that my van is blue and my license plate says SMURF, cause it makes life fun
26) I love that I took the risk and moved to a new town
27) I love that I was born on Oct 10, because it means that this year my birthday is 10/10/10, how cool is THAT!
28) I love that my name is Jennifer and not Edna (not that Edna isn't a great name)
29) I love that I am patient
30) I love that I can't sing with a darn but still do anyway
31) I love that I am quirky and imperfect
32) I love it when I make my husband laugh with said quirkiness and imperfection
33) I love that I am independant
34) I love that I don't have a favourite color
35) I love that I don't have a lucky number
36) I love that I am not superstitious
37) I love that I am not in control anymore :) HAHAHA
38) I love that I love to eat
39) I love that I enjoy being alone
40) I love that I enjoy being with my family

We don't give ourselves enough love. We need to be loving each and every cell of our bodies, every thought that has created who we are.

This was a great experiment to see how much I could come up with, it seems like a struggle at first but then it snowballs and you just keep thinking up new things that you love about yourself.

It's all good. You are all good. Each and every bit of you is as beautiful as the sunrise!

Take some time to acknowledge that beauty. Heck, blog about it. I just did!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Real Love Baby!

A fascinating article by Martha Beck about real love that I stumbled upon.

You may find this article useful if you are struggling with someone who has left you. If you are struggling with family difficulties. If you have been the one to make the decision to leave and feel utterly guilty over it. If you are human at all or have ever been in any kind of relationship.

This article spoke to me, because year ago I had come to a place in my life where it seemed that if I didn't leave my marriage, my husband and I would not have the chance to grow and evolve in the way that would be most beneficial.

It's not that I didn't love my husband dearly, I could just see that we were suffocating eachother.

I was on a rapid growth path and he was scared to death about it.

I had the feeling that if we stayed in eachother's presence in this way that one of us would be very unhappy and I felt as though he would be the one to suffer. And I did not want that to happen. So I asked for a separation.

My husband is the most loving, generous and supportive man. Even on days when I think he is not... He is!

As much as I felt badly about having to make such a decision I also knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing for all of the right reasons.

Needless to say we did not separate, he (thankfully) refused to let go of what we had and all that we have been through. I accepted that and here we are happily on the other side of that raging river we thought was going to pull us under as we crossed it.

So things are never as they seem (that's a whole other blog post for another time).

This article about how to tell if it's real love, really affirmed for me that when we were going through that rough time I really did have his best interests in mind and that it reflected whole heartedly the real love that I feel for him. That it wasn't so much about me getting away from the marriage just to run away, it was about making a decision that in the end may very well would have changed our lives for the better.

I have many friends who are struggling with relationships, either with their children, spouses or extended families. It is the way of things at this point in our evolution. And each time we discuss these issues with eachother I can feel the complete love that these people have for their relationships, that all they truly want is what is best for everyone involved. Sometimes it looks like separation or divorce, sometimes it looks like sending someone away. It may not feel like love for the other people involved, but it is truly what is.

As Martha Beck states in her article that one myth we believe about love is that real love is about trapping people into staying with us, that real love looks like people who stay together in situations they are not happy in. This is a myth.

What about you? Is real love finding happiness in the struggle to continue within a relationship to keep the other person happy in their delusion? Or is real love looking deeply into yourself and asking the tough questions and stepping up and behaving in a way that respects the other persons needs and benefits the whole, even though said benefits cannot be seen at the time?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

A Raw Experiment

About a month ago I decided to omit the bulk of the wheat products I had been consuming from my daily diet.

I had been experiencing some discomfort in my digestive system that had me making way too many bathroom visits during the day and night. I was constantly fatigued and irritable. I couldn't focus on anything for long periods of time and found myself "zoning out" on a regular basis.

I also made the decision to eat as much raw food as possible throughout the day. Eating only a cooked meal at dinnertime (hubby likes his food cooked and I am too lazy to prepare more than one meal).

I was participating in this new way of eating for about 2 weeks when we left for vacation.

While vacationing we ate regular vacation type meals, lots of hamburgers, hotdogs and processed stuff (it's easier to travel with), since we don't have a proper refrigerator there isn't much raw food coming into camp with us as it seems to spoil quickly for some reason.

I packed what I could to get me through at least the first couple of days, sliced pineapple, apples, tomatoes, red peppers. Once that supply was exhausted however I was without raw food, save for the odd banana.

In the second week of the vacation I noticed I had begun feeling fatigued again, no amount of sleeping in and going to bed early was helping it.

When we returned home my body was such a mess. My stomach gurgled endlessly, and the picture of a highway came to mind, with traffic jams stretching the length of my intestines. People angrily shouting and shooting the finger and those ahead of them. It sounds silly and this is exactly how my stomach felt!

My pants weren't fitting me because the bloating had returned and again I was spending the entire night in the bathroom, popping Pepto Bismol tablets just to get some relief so I could sleep.

The next day I headed to the grocery store and loaded my cart with fresh fruits and vegetables.

It is really interesting when you have the opportunity to try something new and then experience living without it. To be able to see the contrast in how my body was behaving on the raw food and then with out it was a great gift and I recognized immediately what my body was asking of me.

It is very clear to me that my daily diet and the health of my body is no longer something I can compromise.

Witnessing the mess that my digestive system becomes when I consume unhealthy foods was a real eye opener. My father died of colorectal cancer. The odds are high that I will end up with the same fate. He didn't eat a very healthy diet and I can remember him having digestive difficulties similar to my own when I was a child.

Do I think I can change this for myself?

I absolutely know I can change this for myself. I have seen the difference in the feeling of my body when I consume raw foods and no wheat. I feel lighter, I am free from bloating and excessive gas sitting in my digestive tract, I have way more energy and I think more clearly.

On the metaphysical side, I see a great increase in my capacity to hear my intuitive guidance and my spiritual sight increases.

The other thing I noticed is that when I eat unhealthily I seem to develop black spots floating in my vision. When I returned to the raw food those spots disappeared. There are most likely many more things happening in my body that I can't see the results of at the moment, the prospect of that is exciting.

Most people would consider all of this a no brainer really. It makes perfect sense that a diet rich in living vegetables and fruits would make you feel more alive.

However, as a busy Mom of 3, Wife and Business woman I easily wandered into the path of whatever is easiest and most satisfying in the way of food. Whatever gets the troops fed, whatever they will actually eat is what I will prepare and happily.

How often do we stop and equate how we are feeling with what we are eating? We will however blame our life circumstances on how we are feeling. And most often the more stress we have the more junk we eat and the more junk we eat the more stress we have. They feed eachother and grow into something bigger than we can handle, showing up as chronic disease's in our bodies.

Maybe you experience the same symptoms as I did, maybe you've been to the doctor, poked and prodded and given a prescription to take care of the issue only to find you develop a host of other symptoms that would require more medication to control.

Maybe you just need an apple a day?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Consider this....

Have you ever considered that every single act you commit to throughout your day is total divine perfection?

What do I mean by that?

Well, I mean even when you are brushing your teeth you are engaging in a divine activity, it is exactly what you need to be doing in that moment, nothing else, just brushing your teeth. It is a phenomenal thing you know, your fingers picking up the brush, then your other hand squeezing the paste onto the brush, like a team of syncronized swimmers, each movement orchestrated beautifully.

There have been many times when a concept has rung true for me, like a long lost secret being whispered in my ear. Do we ever catch the opportunity to notice it in action in our every day lives?

The fact is that each and every act creates another and another and another. And each and every act has the potential to bring you to a higher awareness of yourself.

A fight with your spouse. A dead battery in your car. Hitting every stoplight on your way into work. A pink slip when you arrive at work.

Each and every act is in perfect synchronization to what your soul desires.

And yet, do we notice the beauty in that? Rarely if ever.

So, tomorrow when you wake up and go to the bathroom to prepare for the day, take a really good look at the dance that is happening right before your eyes.

The perfect synchronization of your day has begun, how beautiful is that!

A perfect kind of day

Today has been a GREAT day!

It's the kind of day when your happy to lay your head down on your pillow at bedtime, not because you need to escape from the craziness but because you feel fulfilled at what was accomplished.

For me the day included Reflexology and Reiki with 2 dear friends; finding cheap hockey equipment for my boys on kijiji and taking the boys and the dog for a walk to the beach for some splashing around while the sun slowly disappeared over the horizon.


This is the type of thing I've been noticing lately about life.

Even during our 2 week trip to our cottage I found myself just standing and staring at the beauty of the water and the trees. I would catch myself holding my breath to listen to the loons calling or the mysterious rustling in the leaves. Even the buzzing moose flies were a wonder to me.

Normally I would be busying myself with something the boys needed, or immersed in a book (although I did do alot of reading this trip) drowning out life, but this time was so different. It almost seemed magical.

That feeling of appreciation has carried over into "normal" life since we've been back. Even the gloomiest of situations in our home seem to cast a different light. There seems to be a greater awareness of what is at work underneath the surface.

I'm not quite sure how all of this came to be, I'm not sure if what is happening will be a consistent thing. So, for the time being I will bathe in it, because it is exactly where I want to live every moment of my life. It feels so good....

Monday, August 2, 2010

Real Page Turners....

There is nothing better than indulging in some quality reading time.

I just spent 2 weeks in my remote cottage in Northern Ontario and read some amazing books!

I thought I'd share with you some of my favourites!

The first book I read was The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon. This is one of many books in her Outlander series. The series takes you through the story of Claire and Jamie. An unlikely couple seeing as she is from the 20th Century and he is an Eighteenth Century Highlander. The story begins in Gabaldon's first book "Outlander". I love following Jamie and Claire on their wild adventures. Diana's books are filled with everything that makes a good summer read. I highly recommend the entire Outlander series to any housewife who needs a good thrill.

I also picked up "Jesus" by Deepak Chopra. This was Chopra's first attempt at a fiction story. The book is the would be story of Jesus' path to enlightenment. This book was easy to read and put the Son of God in a light that I could relate to. Chopra shines the light on what may have been some of Jesus' fears related to enlightenment and ultimately how he came to realize his purpose.

Next up was "The Shack" by Wm. Paul Young. I have heard so much about this story and my husband purchased the book months ago and I hadn't had a chance to pick it up. It was a must for me to bring on vacation to see what all the fuss was about.
I'm a little confused as I had thought this story was fictional, but by the sounds of the foreward it is based on a true story.
My 16 year old son even read this book once I was done with it.
The book takes you through a family tragedy of kidnap and murder. One day God invites the victim's father to the very place where the tragedy took place. There the father spends the weekend with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
This was a great read, a great story with lots to think about.
My son was asking tons of questions after reading it as he had decided a while back that he didn't believe in a God. He believes more in the scientific explanation for creation.
I think everyone will get something different out of this book. For me it confirmed my relationship with the Universal God energy and gave me more to base that on.
A great summer (or anytime) read.

I've also been working my way through Byron Katie's "A Thousand Names for Joy". I really enjoy her books, her no nonsense way of explaining how to obtain peacefulness is a breath of fresh air. She makes it sound so simple, and of course it is if you are willing to let go of all of your beliefs surrounding what peacefulness looks like. This is a great read for anyone interested in the Tao Te Ching, as Katie brings different aspects of this teaching into her work. This is not a book that you can just skim through, it takes some time to process and savour the concept of what she is teaching.