Monday, March 10, 2014

All The Soul Wants

I don't know about you but I've found myself on more than one occasion feeling inadequate in this life.  It's not uncommon for me to feel like there's something I should be doing or something I should be changing about myself because I might miss something really important if I don't keep myself busy.

Many of us spend our days pounding our heads against the wall.  How do I become more productive?  How can I squeeze more things into the day?  When will I feel comfortable in my own skin?  How much more do I have to read?  How many more workshops must I attend?  How come I can't just BE?

That last question is a real mystery.

I've tried to BE through meditation.  I've tried to BE through prayer.  I've tried to BE through yoga.  I've tried to BE through reading.

I'm trying to BE so hard that I think I'm missing the point.  Does this sound familiar?

What has become very clear to me in the past few months is that there is nothing you need to do in order to BE.  And 'being' really isn't the problem here.  There isn't a moment in the day that you aren't 'being' who you were meant to be.  Have you ever tried NOT TO BE?  It's impossible not to be who you are! 

I think the real problem that we face is that we don't recognize that WHO WE BE in life is the miracle and there is no way that we will ever not be who and what life wants us to be.

We spend so much precious time trying to change who we are.  We are trying to change a perfect creation.  Doesn't that sound silly. Read that again.  Let it sink in.  We are trying to change a perfect creation.

And by perfect creation I mean a Soul that has chosen to inhabit a physical body in order to experience life as a human being.  Now some of you might look at your physical body and say 'there is nothing perfect about this creation' and you wouldn't be further from the truth with that statement.

Your body has systems and processes that are so perfect it would blow your mind!  How are you even breathing right now if not for the perfect process of the lungs.  Certainly if you are dealing with health issues you are not perfect.  Wrong again!  Those health issues are perfect messages and perfect learning tools for your life.  Use them.  Learn from them.  Don't let them go to waste!

As for our attitudes and beliefs.  I've spent many years blogging about how to change your attitudes and beliefs.  Now I see how silly and arrogant of me that was.  Attitudes and beliefs change on their own; with the flow of the seasons and the blowing of the wind.  They change as we move through life; as we have more experiences; as we gain more momentum.  Change...whether it be in your attitudes, beliefs or self inevitable. 

The easiest path through change is to love who you BE.  Right now.  In all of your busyness and all of your seeming imperfection.  Love who you BE when you are angry and frustrated.  Love who you BE when you are happy and compassionate.

Allowing yourself to behave the way you are without judgement feels like pulling on your favourite sweater.  The smell is familiar and the softness makes you feel safe and protected.

All your Soul wants is for you to love.  All your soul wants is for you to know that you couldn't possibly be more magnificent than who and what you are being RIGHT this moment.


Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Somehow it all fits

Not a day goes by that I don't wonder what the heck I am doing here on this planet!  Take my creativity for instance.  How did I become an artist?  If what I want is a successful life; is this time of addictive creativity part of it all or am on some wild goose chase or delusional?!?!

I'm fluent in 'you are where you are' language and 'if you weren't supposed to be here you would be somewhere else' philosophy.  However, even with that knowledge and those teachings in mind I still question what I'm really up to.  How is what I am doing affecting the world?  Is it?  I don't want to live a life where I am not positively influencing the world.

These may all be nothing more than the musings of insanity and with it occurring so frequently it is hard to ignore.

How do I become so utterly comfortable with where I am that I no longer question it?

That question leads to another.  Do I want to become so comfortable that I no longer question it?

The irony of continuously wondering who I am and what I am here for, is that it does propel me to try new things.  Create more.  Reach out more.  Be brave and courageous.  Say out loud 'I am an artist'. 

I have to admit that without my insecurity I probably wouldn't be where I am today.  Without this little bit of doubt I probably wouldn't be moving forward in baby steps to find out what's next. 

I can look back on my entire life and see that every thing I've ever accomplished came in baby steps.  Many times I wondered why I was where I was, doing what I was doing.  To me; life seems to be a constant miraculous mystery; one step leading to another.  One person leading to another. 

Somehow it all fits; especially when you don't know what the heck you are doing!