Wednesday, September 30, 2009

People on Pedestal's

Have you ever put someone up on a pedestal?  Be honest?

Everyone does at one time or another.  You have a teacher you admire, up he/she goes on the pedestal.  You have a friend that seems to have it all, up she goes on the pedestal.  You have a loved one that has passed away, yep you got it, up on the pedestal they go.  We put celebrities on pedestal's only to disband them when they fail us in some way.

It's an amazing phenomenon really.  Our ability to see things in others that create a sense of respect and awe in us so much so that we put them in a category all their own.  They don't ask us of course to admire them so, we just do.

Did you know that much of what you see in others that you admire, that you yourself hold the same qualities?  It's true.  Also, 99% of the time the very person you've come to put up on a pedestal is dealing with their own demons, their own saboteurs, their own challenges.  And here we are thinking that they are so much better than we are...

I had an interesting conversation with my son tonight after a soccer game.  He was in tears because he didn't feel he did good enough during the game.  He tried to get a couple of shots on net only to have 2 stronger players take the ball away.  I assured him that he did the best he could and that ultimately it's more than just getting goals (although to a 12 year that is all there is to playing!), it's your entire contribution to the team as a whole not just one part.  You see the problem he was having is that he was feeling inadequate because one of the boys on the team insists that he is the best player on the team.  He regularly tells all of the other children this and because they believe it they themselves begin to feel inferior and incapable of doing what this boy seems to think he can do.  In this case the boy in question started the building of the pedestal and the other boys followed through and hoisted him up.  Although I don't agree with the gloating, many people who are their own best cheerleader become quite successful in life because of their views of themselves (maybe not the most popular but certainly successful : )

I asked my son what was stopping him from admitting his own greatness?  What was stopping him from declaring himself a pro soccer player?  He replied that there is usually only one "best" person.  Hmmm

Maybe you've been the one that's been put on a pedestal.  How did that feel?  It's a difficult position to be in really, you've got other people's expectations on you and you yourself cannot see why they depend on you so much because of the host of issues you have within yourself.  And if you fall from the pedestal for nothing more than being human you are immediately surrounded by negativity and accusations. 

The next time you feel the need to put someone up on a pedestal because you admire some of the qualities they hold. STOP.  Look within yourself for those same qualities!  They are there waiting to be noticed and appreciated.

Living or just Breathing?

On my way home from Windsor last night I passed by a sign that read "Are you living or just breathing"?

I thought about this question all the way home.  And I'm still thinking about it today.

I guess I had always just assumed that I was living of course.  I enjoy my work, my family, my friends.  I have a good life.

However the more I pondered just how I had been living, I realized that I really have been "just breathing".  Not to knock breathing or anything, let's be realistic without breath there is no life of course, but I'm talking about the kind of living you do when all you are doing is taking breath after breath simply to make it to the next minute, hour or day.

For the most part we walk around in a mechanical haze.  Our schedule laid out for us each day, every day running into the next.

I wonder just how many people think that this is living life to it's fullest? 

And how do we make the shift from just breathing to living fully?

I believe that all we really need is a shift in our way of thinking.  I think that reading that sign and acknowledging that I have been "just breathing" has created a shift in me already.  The awareness that comes with acknowledgment is extremely powerful.  The other part of this is once the issue has been acknowledged you need to let it go.  Resist holding yourself hostage in the guilt game.  Resist asking people's advice about the situation to gain clarity (nobody else knows you or what is happening in you but YOU).  The only advice you need comes from within you.  Believe it or not your body holds all the answers to life's questions, you don't need to seek an outside source to gain a new perspective you need to find a quiet place and ask yourself the question "what am I doing here?" or "How can I live happier, healthier, more fully?" or "Am I living or just breathing"? 

As small as a step as this may seem, it can be profound.  It connects you to your inner wisdom.  Something that can not be taken away and is extremely empowering.

And that is a beautiful step in the direction of living.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Get out of the way!

There have been so many times in my journey where it seemed as though things were moving in slow motion.  Like I was tethered to a large boulder and wasn't able to break free.  No matter what I do or try to accomplish nothing seems to happen.

These feelings make life seem less than enjoyable.  The struggle to move forward every day in our business, relationships, parental duties, etc. can seem endless. 

Often times when I feel this way, I take a moment to sit down and breathe or I call a trusted friend and bounce the situation off of them and happily receive their feedback.  Nine times out of ten the answer comes to me mid-sentence though.

The answer is often "Get out of your own way!"

The problem with feeling stuck is that often we focus on the outside sources that could be creating this position for us, however that is not always the case.  The truth is that 99% of the time we are standing in the way of accomplishing our goals and dreams.

We place limitations on what we can accomplish, when in truth there are no limitations at all. 

That's what I think is so great about life coaching.  A competent life coach can help you answer the tough questions and find out where the self sabotage is coming from.  Essentially, they help you get out of your own way.

As a rule we don't stop what we are doing and ask ourselves "I'm not happy with this situation.  How do I want it to look?"  It just doesn't happen, we get caught up in the emotion and run with it.

However, when you begin to work with a life coach you begin to see your life as full of opportunity instead of full of challenges.  You begin to stop yourself in the middle of a situation and ask "how do I want this to look".

This simple question gives you a broader perspective on what is going on and how we can go about turning it around for our benefit.

Many life coaches offer an initial 1 hour consultation free of charge.  I am one of them.  This allows everyone to access the services of a coach and see for themselves the benefit in their own life.

There is a quote that says "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting.  If you want something you've never had, do something you've never done!"

This is excellent advice.

If you're not satisfied with your life in this moment, maybe it's time to do something you've never done and gain something you've never had!

Jenn Merritt
State of Being

Thursday, September 24, 2009

One Choice

Oprah Winfrey once said "Right now you are one choice away from a new beginning".

I believe this statement to be incredibly empowering.

In your life you are facing new choices each and every moment of each and every day.  There are opportunities all around us to guide us into the next phases of our lives.  The choice between bacon & eggs or fresh fruits and whole grain toast for breakfast.  The choice between watching the morning tv or taking a drive to the gym (where by the way they have tv's for you to watch WHILE you workout).  Taking a different route to the grocery store, maybe it will save you time so you can stop for a visit with a friend, maybe you will run into an opportunity to help someone out along the way, maybe that slight change of direction brings you past the house of your dreams and sparks a long lost goal inside of you.  Maybe?

There are times when a big choice needs to be made to set you in a new direction, but for the most part I believe it is just a matter of making a different choice daily that can bring you to a different life.

Taking a different route each time you go somewhere also keeps you aware of your surroundings.  I know I have caught myself driving on "auto pilot", not paying attention to my surroundings at all and realize once I've reached my destination that I don't recall the journey to get there.  The choice I make to take the same route over and over again bores the brain and stifles creativity.  And if the joy is in the journey, what kind of journey is it if we aren't aware of it at all?

Is this how you're living your life?  Did you know you were one choice away from a new beginning?

Think of all the times you have seen situations arise that look exactly alike.  Disagreements with co-workers, children, spouse, parent, sibling, etc.  It's frustrating isn't it?  You think you're doing everything right, however it always ends the same, in a resentful and angry situation.  This is one of those times you need to search your mind for the other choice that needs to be made.  Quite possibly the choices you have been making so far have been the same choice each time.  Just one time try a different perspective and make a different choice and see where it takes you.

Here's where you need to resist the urge to be fearful of what the change will be.  None of us knows what tomorrow is going to bring us.  We need to live where our feet are and be aware of the moment we are currently living in so that we can make the choices that are in line with our divine inner self.  You will know you are on the right track when you receive a feeling of enjoyment, fulfillment, purpose.

If you are feeling upset, angry, resentful you are most assuredly in the wrong place!

It's all about the choices we make.  You choose for YOU!

Opening yourself to seeing the truth in a situation allows you to shift your perspective and make a new choice in the situation.  This choice however large or small it is changes EVERYTHING!

Jennifer Merritt
State of Being

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Change on the horizon

Change happens...

Change challenges us to step outside of our comfort zone and make decisions that will make a positive and necessary difference in our lives.

Imagine that your life 5 years from now looks exactly the way it is today...

Go ahead, I'll wait.....

What did the idea of this feel like to you?  Excitement?  Fear?  Happiness?  Anxiety?

Ask yourself these questions:
Are you in the financial position you want to be in in 5 years?  Are you in the marriage you want to be in, in 5 years?  Are you in the position or job you want to be in, in 5 years?  Is your fitness, health and well being at a level you would be comfortable living with for the next 5 years? 

These are big questions. 

These are exactly the questions we need to ask ourselves.

As humans we are not meant to stay in one place.  Life is about experiencing a multitude of things and finding what makes our hearts sing.  We are meant to evolve.  What brings you joy and fulfillment today will not necessarily do the same for you in 10-20 years. 

And so we cannot ignore change, you can try to curl up in a ball and hide, bury your head in the sand so you can't see it coming or get all defensive about the situation that's bringing about the change, but ultimately the change will occur.

It's inevitable.  We experience change whether we like it or not.  It may just not be in a positive way, but change will be there and you will be a different person after the opportunity than you were before it arrived.

Sometimes the idea of change can be paralyzing.  There is almost always something or someone you don't want to let down when you are on your way to another destination in life.  The fear of letting someone down, not knowing what will happen next, whether or not you'll be supported on your journey are just some of the things that prevent us from taking action in our lives and creating the change that we need to fulfill our dreams. 

Many of us, right now are experiencing situations that require drastic change!  It can be overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be.

Ask yourself this question:  If you could take one step (no matter how big or small) towards changing your life situation what would it look like?  And if your life is really messy in this moment, please just pick one issue so that you don't overload your mind and to-do list, most often one area will lead into another automatically so a little change in one spot will provide for change in another without much effort.

When we have faith and take steps towards change, it comes to us gradually and smoothly.  The transition is hardly noticeable and when we are done with the experience we almost always can look back and say "hey, that wasn't so bad".

When we deny the change, we slow it down and so every single bit of the experience is excruciating to live through.  The process is lengthened and we are often fatigued at the end of the experience.

Which experience would you prefer to have?

Make today the day you make a change.


Thursday, September 10, 2009

Self Awareness 101

Self Awareness 101
This is a 7 week course offered to children ages 6-14 designed to build self confidence
We will explore topics that encourage deep thinking at a higher level of consciousness.
Our children are gifted beings sent to us to help us learn important lessons about life and to show us a very different way of living.
Children are our greatest natural resource.
It is time that we nurtured and supported their role in our lives.
Children will learn meditation/relaxation techniques, connection to their natural healing abilities, inner light exploration, how emotions guide us, self-confidence and inner exploration activities and much more!
Tuesday, October 13 - Tuesday, November 24
Investment in your child's well-being:  $50.00
Families with 2 or more children:  $75.00
(certificate of completion presented on final evening)
A healthy and balanced child is a healthy and balanced world!
For further information please contact Jennifer @ State of Being

Reiki training for children

1st Degree Reiki training for children ages 6-14
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Investment:  $75.00
(includes manual, certificate and light lunch)
Every one of us is born with the ability to heal.  Those skills are often lost as we grow and become rooted more deeply in society.
It is my dream that every child be re-introduced to their capacity to heal, which in turn has potential to create the peace on earth that we are all dreaming of.
Reiki is an ancient healing technique dating back to Buddha and Jesus
Reiki students will learn how energy moves through our bodies, how emotions contribute to our physical health, the basic history of Reiki, the 5 principles of Reiki, hand positions used for self treatment and treatment of others.  One attunement is passed from Master to studen to open the channel to healing.
Children who are connected to their healing abilities tend to be more confident, are better able to deal with stressful situations, are happier and more at peace, sleep better, have better focus, etc.
For further information please contact Jennifer at

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Pressure Cooker

As I sat on a ferry to Pelee Island on Labour Day, the last day of summer vacation.  I took the time to contemplate the pressure cooker type stress that we put upon ourselves.

On that last day of summer vacation I had fallen into the "need to do more" trap.  The need to squeeze one last adventure into our time together.  Whether we liked it or not (and at 6:00am on the last day of summer vacation the majority vote was NOT) we were going to spend the last day of summer as a family enjoying the great outdoors and experiencing one more thing this summer!

I made the ferry reservations, planned and packed a picnic lunch, packed swimsuits, towels, etc. all the necessities of a day on the beach, waded my way through teenage negativity all morning just to make sure that my children had more to share with their friends on their return to school the next day.

It made me crazy.  I didn't look like a woman having fun in those early moments.

It's the same thing that happens during holidays for most people.  That anxiety that wells up inside of you that tells you, you just have to do SOMETHING!  Because just sitting around would be a shame.  Not having a big gathering with dinner and all the festivities would be wrong!  Wouldn't it?

How many people do you know who suffer panic and anxiety attacks throughout the Christmas holidays?

My dad used to call me from the toy department in Zellers in a full blown anxiety attack over which toy to buy my children for Christmas.  I told him it wasn't worth it and ushered him to the clothing department.  He thereafter was called the "clothes Grandpa" by my children because Dad would always buy them clothes to avoid the anxiety that choosing the perfect toy always created.

There is no need for this anxiety.  It is fueled by the society in which we live, the status quo that says we need to be, do and have more every minute of every day.  This thought process and way of living can and must be removed from our lives.  I believe that the first step to overcoming this thought process is to acknowledge that it is present in our lives.  If we can start to see that these thoughts aren't connected to what we truly desire then they don't have much power over us.

It is okay to not have a big fancy dinner if what you are wanting is a small family gathering without fanfare.  It is okay to declare that you will be donating to a local food bank in lieu of expensive and useless Christmas presents.  It is okay to sit around all summer long and do nothing more productive than allowing your body and mind to relax.  In fact that is probably the most productive thing you can do!  It is okay to be bored, lazy, tired, etc. 

Stepping away from societal expectations is the first step in truly knowing yourself, and releasing the grip that stress and anxiety have on you.

We can begin a new life filled with more joy and less stress, just by becoming more aware.

Friday, September 4, 2009

The Significance of Dreams

Have you ever had a dream that stuck with you all day?  The impact that it had on your emotional state was so great that you just couldn't shake the feeling?
Some people feel that dreams are just mind chatter from the day before and this may be true in some circumstances, but not all.
Dreams are significant in bringing to light what is going on beneath the surface.  Hopes, wishes, fears, anxiety they all seem to come up in dreams.  And we can either take a closer look at them or brush them off as meaning nothing and carry on.
I feel if we choose to take a closer look we are opening a door to self realization.  When we accept the gift that our dreams have to offer us our life becomes clearer, less confusing and more manageable.
Many times you may wake up and find you only remember mall things about your dream, the color of the car you were driving, an animal that was present in the dream, the time of day, who you were with.  Even if you remember nothing else, those small symbols can be extremely helpful to uncovering what's hiding.
I remember once dreaming and finding that I only remembered that there was a big white wolf in the middle of the road I was driving on.  I remembered nothing else about that dream.  But what the white wolf tells me is this:  I was ready for forgive myself or someone else however I was still feeling fearful of the situation, but not to worry my strength and independence would carry me through.

All of that from one white wolf.

Many people now call dream analysis their hobby.  The book stores carry a wide variety of dream analysis books and are extremely helpful to those who wish to bring greater clarity to their dreams and their life.

I find it helpful to analyze my own dream and if I need greater clarity I call upon a friend who does her own dream analysis, someone who does this for themselves will have more skill than someone who doesn't believe in their dreams at all.

I encourage you to keep paper and pen by your bed and record anything at all you remember from your dreams.  Also record the feelings you had during the dream, this will also guide you to an answer.

Dreams can be powerful catalysts to change, if we allow them to be.