Friday, June 29, 2012

What Our World Needs....

When my boys were younger and they would bring their report cards home, I would immediately go to the place on the report that tells how they are doing socially.  You know the part that the teacher writes just for your child.

That was the only part I was concerned about.

Sure, the A's and B's were nice to see, but I wasn't obsessed with them.  What I really wanted to know was how my kids got along with others, were they valued as a part of the class, did they participate often.  Things like that.

Once your kids reach high school it's all about the grades.  The teacher rarely says things like "your child drives me crazy, he doesn't do his homework, he talks in class AND I can still see his potential even though he can't see it for himself yet".

Last night our oldest son graduated high school.  He did it minus the flying colors, accolades and scholarships; but he did it.  And I'm proud of him, not just because he got through high school but because in the process of going through the drama of high school he's learned for himself what his potential is.

We sat with him at dinner and he made us laugh with his funny faces and riddles.  He shared what he learned through his relationships over the last four years.  He's got a mind of his own and it's filled with inspired thoughts and ideas.

He's a great kid.  And I realize now that all of the worrying and fussing over his low grades and disinterest in homework were for nothing.  Because really at the end of the day what the world needs is more people like him.  People who will work hard at things they love, not just for the things they are told they are supposed to love.  People who are free thinking and won't take 'No' for an answer.

Our world needs change and these kids are the change our world needs.

In the Valedictorian speech, it was said that they all need to start today in realizing their own potential and dreams and turn away from what others tell them they should be doing with their lives.  I could feel the collective fear of the parents in the room (since every parent wants what's best for their child but we really have no idea what that is).  But it was advice well given.  It's time for these young adults to spread their wings and fly.

Because that's what our world needs.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

It's Everywhere!

Love is everywhere!

How do I know?

Because I found it inside of an avocado last night.

I am fascinated that a perfectly formed heart developed on a seed inside of an avocado!

The avocado itself was still tough and was unusable for the salad I was making but inside of it lived this symbol of love.  It made me think of all the times I've felt 'unusable' or insignificant in this world.  Unable to live up to anyone's standards and beating myself up about it.  This little avocado seed reminded me that inside we are symbols of love even if it doesn't feel like it on the outside.

I am going to keep this little avocado seed on my desk as a reminder of what is growing inside of me despite what is happening on the outside.

I love when life gives us these sweet little reminders :)

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Lost and Found....Again

Yesterday after dropping off a friend I decided that I wanted to take a different route home to avoid major construction headaches on the usual route.

I had convinced myself that if I just turned right instead of left there would be an easier way, less stressful way to get home.

So I turned right and drove, and drove, and drove.  Then I made a left onto a familiar sideroad.  I would have been okay had I stayed on that road and took it all the way home, but something in my mind said "nah, it can't be that easy, make a right at the next stop".  So I did just what my mind was telling me and I somehow landed smack dab in the middle of a large town along Lake Erie that I am completely unfamiliar with.  I pulled into a convenience store (had to pee like crazy!) and asked the gentleman behind the counter (and I quote) "Excuse me sir, but how in the hell do I get out of this town!"

This brought us both into a fit of laughter, as he described that I would have to go back to exactly where I came from and most likely go through that construction that I was trying to avoid in the first place.  He also said that there was maybe a shorter way but that it involved back roads and he didn't think sending me that way was a good idea, since, well I had gotten lost going from one small town to another in exactly the opposite direction that I was hoping to end up!

I get lost all of the time so it wasn't that big of deal.  I bought myself a chocolate bar and a bottle of water (oh yes and used the restroom) and I was back on the road.  Only it took me four times the amount of time to get home then it would have if I had just gone through the construction!

It reminded me alot of how we sometimes want to avoid messy situations in our personal lives and so we opt for something 'easier' or at least what looks to be the better way to go.  Only to find out that the 'easier' way takes way more time to complete, ends up taking you right back to where you didn't want to go in the first place and leaves you feeling exhausted and bitchy.

If I would have just gone through the construction I would've been home in no time at all, been able to cook dinner for my family and relax.  Instead, I missed supper by a long shot, had to go back through the construction anyway, felt cranky and miserable when I arrived home and dealt with tight shoulder muscles all night.

Lesson learned.  There is no easy way.  There is only one way.  Choose to take that way first and avoid the hassle and irritation of what you think might be a better way (it isn't really the better way, it's the avoiding way and nothing comes from avoid, trust me; I know!)

Thursday, June 21, 2012

I Am Wildly Successful

These are the words I wrote in my journal last night.

Not as an affirmation, or something I am hoping to manifest in my life, but as the truth.  I felt this message move through my body, bringing with it a flow of joy I hadn't felt in a very long time.

This message did not come from my mind.  It came from my spirit.

After I wrote them, I looked back at what had happened throughout the day and I realized how true the statement really was.  Not because I made a million dollars and not because I'm known worldwide (that I know of) as some amazing healer/artist/speaker/whatever.  Actually, the complete opposite.

It's true simply because all day long I had been me.

I did some laundry, called the A/C repair guys, spoke to a trusted and dear friend, spoke to my mum in law (equally trusted and dear to me), drew an energy portrait for a friend's birthday, took the dog for a walk, laid on the couch, went to a meeting for a fall speaking engagement, gave hubby a hard time about the volume level when he passes gas (okay, I know, too much info?).

The point I am trying to make is that I was right where I needed to be, I wasn't struggling to be somewhere else.  This makes me wildly successful!

I am successful when I am accepting of what is.  I am successful when I am fulfilled in doing the everyday 'mundane' tasks.  I am successful when a friend tells me that my words inspired her or gave her a hand up and out of a situation.  I am successful when my children tell me they love me.  I am successful when I don't burn dinner.  I am successful when I go where I am guided to go and do what I am guided to do.

I am successful when I let go of the expectations I put on myself.

It is when we release the struggle that full access to our truth is revealed to us.

What would you do if right now you realized that you are already wildly successful?  What would you be able to do differently in your life?  What would that feel like and look like to you?

So many of us are struggling, like salmon swimming up stream hoping to get to the promise land.  Just to find more struggling ahead.

The funny thing is that we are choosing the struggle instead of choosing to see ourselves as already wildly successful right where we are!  YOU ARE CHOOSING!

Try it for yourself.  Sit with your eyes closed for a moment and say the words "I AM WILDLY SUCCESSFUL" in your mind.  Let this information move through your body and tell me it doesn't feel right to you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Innocence Found

We are all seeking Love.

Truthfully though, we have no idea how to go about finding it.

We fight, argue, get frustrated, increase our expectations, lie, cheat and sometimes steal in the name of love.

And still it eludes us.

Sometimes we spend a lifetime making a career out of giving everything we have to everyone around us in the hopes that we will feel and be loved.  And still (most often)...nothing.

It's like eating cookies for breakfast, lunch and dinner and still expecting to lose weight!


What if there was a way to stop this insanity?  What if there was a way of actually receiving the love that you so desperately seek without all of the 'work' that goes along with it.  Would you sign up?

Afterall, we are beings created from love; it shouldn't really be all that hard to find it!

One thing that I find has been really filling me with love lately, is seeing the innocence in others. 

Especially the ones who are constantly wanting us to love them and who have no idea that their way of seeking love from us is literally driving us to drink! 

The wife who feels neglected, the husband who feels unappreciated, the parents who feel disrespected, the employee who feels taken advantage of, etc., etc., etc.

All of these scenerios call for us to look for the innocence in the other person (and especially in ourselves).

Okay, let me put it this way.  If every single being on this planet is here to learn how to love.  And every single being on this planet is seeking love.  Then it makes sense that we are all innocent in our search! 

I mean, I didn't get a roadmap to finding love.

Did you? 

I didn't think so!

We are all children wanting to be loved.  Some know how to get it and some have found it.  Others are still seeking and still more are pushing the people they want love from the most, away.

The difficult part of seeing innocence in others may be in your perspective of what that other person has done or what you feel they deserve.  Well, none of that matters, so you can get that out of your head or at least know that you can still practice finding innocence even if you currently believe something different about the situation.

What I find happens for me when I see someone's innocence, I simultaneously see my own innocence.  Where there is innocence there is forgiveness, where there is forgiveness there is love.

Of course (because I'm not done learning yet either), I've yet to experience this as an automatic response to any given situation, however when I do apply it (even on the past stuff), it's extremely powerful.  That empowerment is what keeps me motivated to keep seeing the innocence in everyone and everything.

Go on, give it a try!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Do You Have Comparitosis?

You know; I wasn't back on facebook more than 48 hours (after a month long facebook diet) and I found myself right back into the cycle that made me leave facebook in the first place.

That is the moment I realized I am suffering from a common ailment I have affectionately dubbed Comparitosis.

Comparitosis is both non-life threathening AND life threatening.  It's a tricky little dis-ease that I estimate 90% of the human population suffers from without knowledge. 

Comparitosis is a psychological dis-ease that encourages you to adopt false, negative beliefs about your self-worth and potential.

Flare ups of comparitosis can happen in an instant.  You can be moving along, enjoying life, loving yourself when all of a sudden BAM! it hits you.  Somebody else does or attains something you have always wanted to do or have and because you unknowingly suffer from comparitosis you immediately go into how you have nothing and the other person has everything or you are a nobody and the other person is a somebody.

My form of comparitosis flares up when I see someone achieving something I believe looks like success.  Immediately my body turns hot and I feel overwhelmed by sadness at the things I am not successfully accomplishing.

Other forms of comparitosis involve but are not limited to material possessions, finances, career and family.

I'm beginning to understand my dis-ease as insanity and am working on controlling the flare ups before someone around here discovers I would be more comfortable in one of those little white jackets that buckles in the back and makes it so that I hug myself tightly. 

Funny thing about comparitosis though, the minute you realize you have it.  It kinda sorta goes into remission.  I have suffered with this dis-ease of perception since I was a little girl and it wasn't until that moment on facebook that I realized it was affecting me on such an intense level.

I am learning as I go, but so far I have figured out a few things about how to reduce comparitosis flare ups and I thought I'd share them.

* Immediately remove yourself from the cause of the flare up.  AKA turn off facebook or turn away from the conversation.
* Keep paper and pencil handy.  When you discover yourself at the onset or in the middle of a comparitosis flare up, the best defense is to write down the comparison.  example "Sally lost 25lbs in 1 month and I am still overweight and unhappy; I'll never lose weight".
* Take it to the next level.  With the same pencil and paper, write down ALL of the things you can think of that you have accomplished in your lifetime (size does not matter, write it ALL down).
* Do the happy dance.  Moving your body is like a reset button for the emotions and is a great way to celebrate your accomplishments.  Once you have written down all of your accomplishments, turn on the music and dance around (again size does not matter, just move!).

I took these steps the other day in removing myself from a comparitosis episode and found that my list was really, really long.  What I realized is that my accomplishments in my 39.7 years of being on this planet are probably more than most people would only dream of accomplishing.

Once my list was written I posted it on the refrigerator so that I can see it everyday.  A great reminder of an accomplished woman who is working hard to free herself from the confines of comparitosis.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Your Not The Only One

This topic came up briefly in conversation while traveling home from Pelee Island this weekend.

At first I thought it was funny and kind of cute to think about. 

And then that cute little seed started to grow and I got to realizing that this is a great concept when you are feeling frustrated with your relationships and the people around you.

So what's the topic?

When you're feeling like you want to run screaming from a relationship, maybe you're not the only one.  Maybe the other person can't stand the sight of you either.

Nice huh?

And as I typed those words my tummy did a somersault and my mind immediately said "this is not a very nice topic to discuss, you should find something more pleasant to talk about".

Oh, so we've hit a nerve then (apparently my mind is new around here).

The fact is that we don't want to admit to ourselves that we might be wrong or flawed or unworthy of anyone's attention and time.  Heaven forbid someone actually think about us the way we may be thinking about them! 

Truthfully though common sense tells me that if I'm irritated with someone then sure as shit they are doing their best to handle my flaws as well (my marriage is a prime example of this!  My hubby deserves a medal!).  But sometimes we just don't see it that way.

We all know what it feels like to get into our self righteous attitude about how someone else is just the most vile person in the world to live with (or work with, or travel with, etc).  We feel 'better than' another.  We feel superior and justified.

(there goes that tummy flipping again)

And maybe bringing your mind into the space where you can consider yourself just as flawed isn't the most comfortable thing to do.  But it is something.  A step in a new direction where you can better understand why you feel this way or why you believe others need to be worthy before you can give them your time, patience and appreciation.

Because really at the end of the day, what you see in others is what you see in yourself.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Art of Projection

projection:  a : the act of perceiving a mental object as spatially and sensibly objective; also : something so perceived b : the attribution of one's own ideas, feelings, or attitudes to other people or to objects; especially : the externalization of blame, guilt, or responsibility as a defense against anxiety

This is just one of many definitions of the word 'projection'.

My experience lately has related to the above definition (specifically 'b') and I've been given many opportunities to see how I have been projecting my own ideas, feelings and attitudes onto other people.

The concept of projecting my shit onto someone else is not a new one for me.  I've been reading about it and hearing about it for years.  But living it, breathing it and recognizing it as actually happening is something I haven't practiced much.....until recently.

That is until one major projection came crashing down around me one fine spring day.

What I am learning about projecting onto others is, that eventually it does all come crashing down.  My take is that our ideas, fears and attitudes change and so what we project will change, thus eliminating the initial projection (sometimes not without heartache and regret).

The other part of this is that at some point you need to know the truth.  When a projection starts to crumble or becomes something you recognize as a pattern you have no choice really but to see exactly what the cause of all of this is.

Since we are beings that are in constant relation to everything around us, our projections will affect our personal and intimate relationships, they will affect our finances, careers and education.  They will affect how safe we feel with ourselves and our surroundings.  Simply put, you can look at anything in your life and see a projection.

Whatever you believe is true about your relationships, your finances, etc. is what you will project out into your reality.

We are literally masters in the art of projection!

But just as we are great at projecting out what we believe to be true, we are equally powerful in dismantling that projection and revealing the truth so that it can't cause us grief anymore.

What if you started to look around your life and decided to take ownership of why things are the way they are.  What kind of impact do you think this would have on your life?  

Sunday, June 10, 2012

And So......

Everything is right with the world....


As I sit here feeling full of all that is good after a Ginormous (j-eye-norm-us) Total Recall Women's Retreat weekend on Pelee Island!

A beautiful B&B right on the water's edge.

A roommate that ROCKED and shared my interest in sleep!

A realization (again) that I am not superwoman.

The courage to act upon the re-discovery of my 'un' superwomanly self.

Laughter (most important).

Great food (okay...maybe this one is most important).

Hearing someone confirm for me that I am and I have made a difference in their life (bonus: without even trying!).

Recognizing the incredible influence that this past year has had on me.

The kick ass suntan I am going to have!

Getting the chance once again to stand in front of people willing to learn and grow with you.

Rediscovering the word 'magnificent' and feeling like it describes who I am (A first for me!)

The list is endless.

My point?  I am happy.  I can see my blessings.  I know their names.  I know their smiles.  I know their hugs.  And I know that I am worthy of them.

Just as you are worthy of yours.


Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Good News

Last week I picked up A Course In Miracles from the book store.

I had already read through The Disappearance Of The Universe (deep) and was anxious to sink my teeth into ACIM since the Disappearance book is based largely on it's teachings.

I find I can only really read through about 4 pages in one sitting (plus that gives me time to digest what I've read), so as I am heading off to bed tonight I open it up to where I left off and find this sentence:

"You can make an empty shell, but you cannot express nothing at all.  You can wait, delay, paralyze yourself, or reduce your creativity almost to nothing.  But you cannot abolish it.  You can destroy your medium of communication, but not your potential.  You did not create yourself."

This sentence has got me really excited.

I am trying not to analyze the teachings in ACIM.  I don't want to put my human, screwed up mind guck onto it.  But what I get from this statement is that YOU CANNOT SCREW THIS UP!  You can't.  You can try.  Oh you can really try.  I know I have.  But even when you've made your worst mistakes you are still YOU.  You are still beloved and you are still gifted and you are still a being who deserves the very very very best.

This is very good news....

Let this sentence seep into your psyche, let it melt around you, let it embrace you.

The Truth Can Set You Free....If You Let It!

This week I had the opportunity to speak at a volunteer appreciation event for a large retirement/nursing home company.

The crowd of over 100 volunteers was by far the largest I have spoken to at this point in my 'public speaking' journey.

My topic?

The Power of your thoughts.

A topic that I feel very passionate about.   Speaking about the powerful influence our thoughts have on our reality is deep and meaningful, always.  I can try and dumb it down but right out of the gate it is information that empowers our soul.  No longer are we victims of a world outside of ourselves.  For most, it is the first time we will experience an overwhelming sense of power within ourselves.

For others it hits a nerve and they cross their arms over their chests and put a scowl on their face, or they fall asleep or they decide they'd rather talk and laugh to the person beside them the entire time you are speaking.

And that's okay.

Because you can't please everyone. 

And un-benounced to the skeptics, you can't 'un-know' something and so that little seed of information gets planted inside of you and lies dormant until the right moment where it blooms and becomes something life enhancing for you.

The group of volunteers was primarily female senior citizens.

Some would believe that by the time you are a senior citizen it is 'too late' for you to change your ways.  Too late to change your thinking or your mindset in a way that can impact your life.

I don't subscribe to this belief.

I don't believe it is ever too late to change your perspective.  In fact, seniors are excellent candidates to use empowered thought processes to change their circumstances.

I had someone approach me after my talk yesterday and tell me they really enjoyed hearing what I had to say but that some 'wouldn't get it'. 

My response to this was.  I'm not here to make sure everybody 'gets it', I'm here to share a message that can change lives if it is considered.  I'm not willing to fluff up, change or compromise my message for those in this world who are too 'sensitive' or not ready to hear it.

The night before the event I flipped on the television and there was Wayne Dyer talking about thoughts and he was saying exactly what I wanted to say to the group the next day.

Confirmation that I was on the right track with my message.

We all have a message to share.  We all have something we want to tell the world.

I say.  Tell it.  Tell it like it is.  Don't spread butter cream all over it and sprinkle it with sugar so that it's easier to swallow.  Jesus, Buddha, The Dali Lama didn't and don't dress their messages in fancy frills for the benefits of others. 

They speak the truth, not to impress anyone or try to change anyone, but because it is the truth and they know that one day the truth will set everyone free.

Friday, June 1, 2012