Friday, April 30, 2010

Moving on....

Today is the day we get the keys to our new home.

These are exciting times for my family. We've never moved before, we've been surrounded by the same people, places and things for 20+ years.

I have asked myself this question "Why are you moving?"

I've also fielded this question from many curious friends, family and acquaintances.

The only answer I can come up with is "It's time".

It really is time to move on. I moved here with my hubby when I was 18. I was so young, so naive and had so much to learn about life and love.

Over the past 20 years my hubby and I have turned this home into exactly what we saw in it the day we bought it. We worked hard side by side to renovate and update each and every part of it with our own hands.

This house is a part of who we were, who we are now and who we are going to be tomorrow because of all the time we spent together working on it. Those times weren't always happy, however it is exactly those times that taught me about forgiveness, unconditional love and acceptance.

So now, sitting here as the person I am today. I no longer need what this house has given me in the past. It is time to step into a new space and reality, it is time to take what this home has taught me and apply it to a new life. And I am grateful for the opportunity.

Last night as I laid in bed, I gave silent thanks to this home for welcoming us as a young couple, for allowing us to transform her with our love and for nurturing us and our children as our family grew and grew and grew.

Now it is time to move on.

Friday, April 23, 2010

My forgotten power...

It should not come as a surprise to me that I seemed to have forgotten my power. I am afterall human, and sometimes when problems and struggles arise we somehow forget who we are and turn into teary-eyed and sleep-deprived zombies with no direction and little faith in ourselves.

I have become a zombie lately. My days consist of packing whatever I can in a day and worrying about our financial situation with regards to our new home purchase. I'm in bed by 9:00pm and dream all night of moving into the new house and all the things that need to get done in order to do that. I am literally running around all day AND all night!

And in perfect order and fine fashion the Universe has handed me yet another stumbling block in the financial department today.

I am at a loss as to what to do. Which is wonderful in a way, because there is NOTHING I can do. And this shows me the divine truth that is unmistakable. Now if I could only get my ego to stop insisting that I run around like a crazy woman worrying over the situation.

The power I have forgotten about is the power to recognize the truth in every situation, good or unpleasant (I won't say it is bad, because it isn't, it's just uncomfortable). The truth of this situation is A) I don't have control over it. B) life is an illusion and therefore this situation isn't real either C) I created this stumbling block and I can un-create it or ignore it and D) There is a peaceful place inside of me waiting for me to make the decision to access it, to find refuge in it.

All of this information seems to float around in my mind and heart, so why then is it so difficult to put it into action when the time comes. Why do we automatically put up our defenses and start to blame someone else for what we ourselves have created.

Maybe this is some of what keeps me from accessing my power. The guilt and shame that I put on myself because I know that I alone am at "fault" for what is happening. That something inside of me thought this would be fun to experience and so therefore I am.

So, here is what I am doing about it, because there is literally nothing physical I can do at this point. I am visualizing the people, places, circumstances surrounding the road block and I am seeing myself with a giant eraser and I am erasing these things out of the story. This may or may not work, but at the moment I can think of nothing else since I have run out of positive affirmations, EFT'd myself to bruising and have almost overdosed on Rescue Remedy :)

The upside? Tomorrow HAS to be a better day!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Don't worry....Be happy!

Last night as I was entertaining my YouTube addiction. I came across a great video showing Dr. David Hawkins addressing a question from a woman who worries a lot and would like to stop her obsessive worrying.

The video is hilarious to watch. Dr. Hawkins is skillful at bringing humor into his teachings.

His message in this particular video is that when we embrace what brings us discomfort we come to experience less of that discomfort. When we resist the discomfort we experience more of that discomfort.

Most of us wouldn't necessarily go the route of embracing tragedy, change, worry and stress. Most of us would fight it every step of the way. Find ways to irradicate it, ignore it, make it go away as quickly as possible.

And most of us would agree that if we look back at the times when we have fought our discomfort, we did indeed experience more of it. Ego loves a good fight.

And nothing says "speak louder to me" like ignoring a problem or situation. It's like a flashing neon sign to ego that you can't hear it or see it and therefore it should try harder to make itself heard and seen.

Dr. Hawkins theory and message spoke volumes to me.

Years ago while in a therapy session discussing my anxiety and panic attacks, the therapist said to me "the next time you have a panic attack, I would like you to exaggerate it. Play it up a little more, cry harder, panic harder, scream louder and see what happens."

That was the last time I saw that therapist. I thought the guy was a kook!

Seriously, anyone who has experienced a panic attack knows that you cannot possibly imagine exaggerating an attack.

I did not overcome my panic attacks by exaggerating them. However, I did overcome them by accepting that they were a part of who I was and even though I didn't know where they came from they were still very much something I may have to live with. That was the end of my panic attacks. That moment of acceptance. When we accept something we are loving it and much of ego's tricks and antics are fueled by Un-Love or fear.

That therapist was onto something, little did I know at the time. Had I entertained my panic attack, exaggerate it as best I could, allow it to play in my mind and body I would have been showing it that I was no longer afraid and that I was a willing participant in the "show" and they would have vanished.

Have you ever helped your child exaggerate a temper tantrum? I have. Plenty of times! Nothing diffuses a temper tantrum quicker than Mom or Dad helping the child exaggerate their discomfort. It instantly becomes ridiculous and ends in laughter and quick memory loss as to what brought it on in the first place.

This works for adults as well. Bringing in the ridiculous-ness of the situation, dissolves the fear and worry.

No stress. No fear. No regret. No disconnect from the mind, body, spirit.

Only Bliss.....

Friday, April 16, 2010


The mystery of where the womanly libido disappears after marriage and kids has always intrigued me.

It's something I have struggled with myself for many years, as well as knowing many friends and acquaintances that experienced the same thing.

Please do not read on if you are squeamish about this topic.

For years I tried all sorts of medical treatments to try and "cure" my "problem". I labeled it Female Sexual Dysfunction (yes there is such a thing..), it was something I was ashamed and embarrassed about. To have to admit that I was not in the least bit interested in sex made me feel out of place, different, lonely and like something was really wrong with me, a sexual misfit.

I believe many women (and men) live a life of quiet desperation, trying to figure out what is "wrong" with them. They have tried every cream, gel, toy and libido enhancing gadget out there to re-awaken the passion that lives within them. I spent a few months on a testosterone supplement which made me feel crazy and animal-like. Did it enhance my libido, yes. But at what cost to the health of my liver? And it felt completely unnatural for me to be feeling that way.

These are my thoughts.

Sex is sex. It does not guarantee love, commitment or intimacy. It quite often does little more than serve the purpose of releasing pent up energy.

During my child bearing days I enjoyed physical closeness. I very much enjoyed the process of creating another human life. Once my last son was born that enjoyment left me when it came to the physical act of sex.

I believe that once we have fulfilled our commitment to procreate it is natural for a woman to no longer feel connected to the physical act of sex. For one thing we are consumed with the daily caring for and nurturing of our new child(ren). That is our new role. Our old role of pro-creator is dissolved and we have moved on to our new role.

I was considering how over the last 20 years or so we have seen an increase in the need for males to use medication to enhance their own libido. This is not a coincidence, as I believe over the past 20 years we've become more spiritually evolved, that is we've become closer to living in our natural state. The closer we get to our natural state of being the less we require physical sex to connect. We can do it in other ways, exercise, yoga and meditation to name a few.

Our human brains and society tell us that something is wrong because our body isn't working properly or we no longer have a desire for sex. But what if, what we experience at that point is completely natural and is a cue from mother nature that new ways of closeness need to be explored, that we have "outgrown" the physical and it is time to move into the realm of the soul.

When we move closer into our natural state of being it becomes easier for us to connect on a soul level. Some would call this intellectual sex because it often occurs during intimate conversation and closeness. But what it is, is the moment that your soul connects with another. Ultimately this is the true "sex", this is true connection. There is nothing like it in this world. It is a feeling of total freedom, bliss and joy, completeness and fulfillment.

I believe that as a society we focus too much on the physical. Imagine if along with sex education we taught our children about the truth of love and connection through the heart and not through the genitals?

Many people connect sex with love and if they are not receiving one they do not feel the other.

This is a misconception.

Consider that ancient tantric "sex" techniques and knowledge resurfaced close to the time when Viagra commercials became popular. Coincidence? I think not! Tantric sex is the art of synchronizing breath between two people for the purpose of higher connection, it may lead to more physical contact but that is not the original intention.

The need for tantric sex techniques arise when we reach a space in our spiritual evolution where the physical act of sex is no longer necessary, fulfilling or available to us.

We've all experienced a moment when we've had a thought or vision regarding our spouse/partner who was in another place at the time and feelings of joy, gratitude and desire filled us. In that moment we are unable to fulfill that desire physically and so we deal with that moment intellectually, through the intellectual heart. Many times that fleeting moment will come back to us and make us smile. This is "intellectual" sex, connection at a soul level.

It is when we make this connection at the soul level and then turn it into something purely physical that we run into trouble. Disconnect occurs because we place the expectation of sex onto it. There is no place or need for physical sex when connecting at the level of the soul.

Am I saying you need to give up your physical needs for gratification. Absolutely not! What I am saying is that to be incapable of taking part in physical sex is quite possibly just as natural as being capable and does not leave room for blame, excuses or shame.

(Of course there may be medical reasons for this incapability and I urge you to seek medical attention before you just chalk it up to spiritual evolution).

I realize there are people out there that truly do love the physical act of sex. However, there are a great many more who do not and are struggling with their confidence and their relationships because of it.

I offer you these thoughts as a way for you to reconcile with the pure genius that is your body and soul. It knows what it needs. Instead of pushing towards a solution, try sitting with the truth for a moment and see where that leads you.

Monday, April 12, 2010

A question of authenticity

These last few days have been bumpy around here. The emotions of leaving our home of 20 years are starting to surface... Not that I'm nervous or scared. More that I am sad to be leaving what has been such a large part of our lives for so long.

As I thought about how I have handled the last few days though I started to question my authenticity.

I'm great at this, btw. I am great at being human and then giving myself hell about it later.

When you hear the word authentic, what does it mean to you?

I like to be authentic and to me it means being me. Usually that looks like someone that is very happy, who loves to learn new things, be kind and helpful to others and have a smile on and something positive to share.

When I find myself getting involved in the chaos and allowing myself to get stuck in frustration and helplessness I tend to feel un-authentic (if that's even a word). Almost like I am letting myself down if I allow myself to go to this dark, kind of space.

And because I feel like I should know better than to allow myself to go there. I have the tools to remain in a positive space. But how silly is that?

From the moment we are born, we are enlightened, spiritual beings in the school of life. No matter what is happening in our day to day life we are still spiritual beings.

So, there aren't any rules that say we cannot engage in frustrating (or disappointing) behaviour, because ultimately that is what we need to engage in, in order for us to learn how NOT to engage in it, or how to remain in a calm space when the chaos is flying around us.

The unpleasant situation, behaviour or emotion assists us in becoming more connected and closer to that spiritual being. It doesn't drag us farther from it. No matter what, we are always swimming towards our true nature.

In fact, after considering this over the last few days I realized how I was being completely authentic because I WAS allowing myself to engage in the chaos. I mean, it didn't feel too great and it was making me physically ill, however, it is what it is and eventually I found my way back to serenity.

So did I compromise my authenticity, or did I strengthen it?

Like it or lump it, even if your a serious spirituality buff like I am, you have moments when the Universe would like you to be human for the sake of learning something about yourself.

Even on the road to spirituality we need to take a trip back to earth on occasion to re-acquaint ourselves from which we came.

I allowed my emotional state to become unbalanced and at the end of the day had a very clear view of what had happened, where I lost my power, how I could have done it differently and a confirmation of the difference in my physical health when I remain in a space of calm as opposed to allowing myself to get sucked into the chaos.

Lesson learned.....

I doubt it....

There will always be another opportunity to see how far I have come and what I still need to work on. Not to mention the grand reminder that I am a spiritual being living a human life and in that there are no vacations.

I look forward to that day....

Peace out!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Topsy Turvy Thursday and Funky Friday

The past two days have been...well...for lack of a better phrase....TOTALLY WACKY!!!

I know many of you are experiencing this, so I am not at all feeling lonely. But I do believe it deserves an explanation.

Hands up if you have felt completely disconnected from your body over the last few days... How about feeling dizzy, nauseous or experiencing that nasty word I can never spell properly....diarrhea (thank goodness for spell check)?

What about those of you recognizing that no matter what effort you put into something you are in the middle of doing, it turns into crap and slips through your fingers...

What about the aches and pains?

Ahhh, I can hear the collective nodding of the heads!

I'm pretty sure I've blogged about this before, but here we go again.

Bear with me...

There is some funky stuff going on in the world of energy these days. Nothing new really, we've been experiencing this kind of thing for years and years however we are now in the thick of it and things are really moving.

You may have heard about what seems to be endless earthquakes occurring all over the globe. This is a large part of why we are feeling totally off balance, the earth itself is literally adjusting and settling into a totally new position.

Look, whether you believe this stuff or not, we are all energetic, magnetic beings. The earth tilting into new position and our symptoms are NOT a coincidence. There is no such thing anyway.

This, of course like anything else is nothing to worry about. It is simple evolution. These changes are mandatory, in order to create the new world we have been dreaming of.

Yesterday I was experiencing a feeling of definite disconnect. Like that feeling you get when you take cold medicine, totally spacey and unfocused. I had a headache and my back was really sore. Not to mention as I was talking to a friend on the phone I felt dizzy and nauseous and whether she liked it or not the only way I could keep myself from throwing up was to announce to her every 2 seconds that I was going to be sick (my apologies friend, you know who you are!).

Today is not much better, however I managed to get groceries and balance the checkbook today. Soon I am off to lay on the couch though. My back and head are still really sore.

So, what to do when your feeling like this? Chillax. There is nothing you can do, or take that will relieve these symptoms. It's best to ride it your jammies....on the couch....with a hot tea (or beverage of choice) and relax.

Pamper yourself. And know that you are not crazy (unless you are), you are not dying (unless you are) and you do not have an incurable disease (unless you do).

Isn't this FUN?!?!?!?!?


Thursday, April 8, 2010

When the Universe speaks.....I need to listen!

How familiar are you with the ways in which the Universe makes it's plan known to you in your life? And how often do you ignore those subtle hints?

Here is a little story for you about how blind and deaf I can sometimes be when it comes to the Universe's promptings...

I enrolled in a life coaching course many months ago and have been working away at it bit by bit in my spare time. It's a considerable time and cost commitment that I was certain I would enjoy and succeed in.

A few months ago though, I noticed that the information was no longer resonating with me and I had developed an unmistakable disinterest in completing it. But still I plugged through, finishing the modules, submitting my essays and making plans to work with my mentor coach. I am by the way quite close to being finished after pushing myself to get through it thus far.

Here's where it gets funny (or not, depending on your level of craziness)...

Last month I was preparing for my 2nd mentoring call. I am given a 1/2 hour to coach my mentor on the topic of her choice and then we spend a 1/2 hour critiquing my style, questions, etc. (sounds like fun, huh?)

I need to mention to you that my mentor is in the UK, somewhere in England and I am in Ontario.

To make a long story somewhat short. I didn't realize that daylight savings time does not occur in the UK the same time it does here and so I missed the call.

I felt really bad about this mix up(I am not a genius when it comes to time zones, it's a polish, blonde thing, I think) and rescheduled for another opportunity.

That opportunity came today. I was told earlier by my mentor when the time change would happen for them and I marked it in my calendar so I wouldn't get it wrong...again.

Last night I double checked the time online to make sure I had it right and sent her over an email to confirm our appointment. I double checked the time again this morning, just in case!!!

Guess what?

Yep, you guessed it, I missed the appointment by an hour. The time that I got online was wrong (somehow?) and I was an hour late for my call.

Here's the kicker. Yesterday I was wondering all morning if I should just postpone the call, we are in the middle of a move. I have a lot to do around here. But I reasoned that it was only an hour of my time and I really SHOULD do the call so that I can move forward with this course (even though I'm not satisfied with it)...

Do you see where this is going?

My first feeling of disconnectedness from the course was a clear warning that I am not to be taking part.

The time mishap was another indication that yep, we're still heading into territory we have no need to explore.

But today! Today made me laugh my butt off... I mean COME ON! The online time zone calculator is WRONG?!?!? Okay, maybe it was operator error, but I double checked it like 3 times when I went on and it said the same thing every time!

I really need to listen to my intuition. It practically screamed at me about this, but nope I knew better and moved ahead anyway!

I picture somewhere, someone is having a good old laugh. Either that or they are wagging their finger in my direction while chanting "I told you so!" (not that there is a being that would do that, it's just really funny to think about it).

It wouldn't be so bad, however my mentor doesn't seem to have a funny bone about human error. So, now I am destined to pay for each of my mentoring calls individually instead of them being included in my tuition fee.

Hmmm, quite possibly it is time to take that queue from the Universe, save myself from further agony and humiliation and hang up my coaching course?

The truth is, it is difficult sometimes to take that first hint and run with it, there are so many programs in our brain that tell us how we need to follow through, make commitments and behave in a certain way no matter what our emotions are telling us. So trusting our emotions and allowing those prompts to move in a certain direction can be tricky.

Note to self: At the end of the day, I can save myself a lot of time, energy and heartache if I just listen the first time instead of taking it to the point where the Universe steps in and makes the decision for me. Which in some cases has the tendency to take the form of something much more debilitating if I take it too far. I figure I got off easy this time.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Complaint Free

Last Thursday my husband and I attended an event called "A Complaint Free World" the speaker's name was Pastor Will Bowen.

He spoke about how complaining affects our health, relationships and careers. He explained that every day we complain about everything we encounter and then we are surprised when the outcome of our day isn't exactly joy and bliss.

This is not news to me. I have studied the Law of Attraction and I totally accept the ideal of what we think and speak about, we bring about. But oddly enough I realized I had not been closely monitoring my own tendency to complain.

Pastor Will gave out purple bracelets to everyone in the audience and encouraged us to wear them. And each time we recognized that we were complaining, gossiping or griping we were to switch the bracelet's to the other wrist, back and forth.

The goal is to make it 21 days without moving the bracelet, 21 days without complaining. Each time you complain, no matter how many days you have gone without complaining you still switch the bracelet to the other wrist and start back at the beginning. I am still on day 1. We got our bracelets last Thursday.

I noticed this weekend that my husbands bracelet didn't seem to be moving. Then I realized that he really wasn't talking to anybody, either.

Not until yesterday in the car did he complain about a driver ahead of him. He turned to me and asked "was that complaining". I replied "well, if you have to ask then it probably was". He immediately switched his bracelet with a sigh and we both had a good laugh about it.

I think this idea of a complaint free world is brilliant. I think the idea of having to switch a bracelet every time you complain about something is an ingenious way to curb a very negative habit.

I am a pretty positive person and was totally disgusted with myself that I had to switch my bracelet more than a dozen times the first day!

I complain a lot! We all complain a lot! Maybe not about the same things, but we complain none the less.

So today is still day 1 for me, I am hoping to make it one full day without complaining. It's exciting to think about because each day that I make it means one more day without complaints going out into the world, and no adverse side effects coming back to me.

This is a very good thing!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Trust me....


It's something many of us value, so how come it's also sometimes the hardest thing to do?

Trust is something we need to have each and every moment of each and every day.

My personal space of transition lately has me doing some financial juggling and re-arranging, a large part of our purchasing a new home depends on whether or not we can successfully consolidate some debt. We have put in the offer for our new home and it has been accepted, however our plans to consolidate are taking longer than expected with no real definite answer or resolution coming to life.

To say I have needed to trust in the process, and know that all is well and all will be what it is meant to be at the end of the day is an understatement.

I have the least amount of trust in financing and banks.

While at the local bookstore and waiting for my son to decide on which book to purchase tonight, I decided to do a walk through the "Religious" titles to see what was interesting. I picked up a book (please don't ask me what the title was because I cannot for the life of me remember) but the general idea was to respect and practice the "don't know mind". That no matter what is happening in your now moment that you are in a peaceful place in the mind, no analyzing, no worrying....just peace.

Apparently, when we practice the "don't know mind" we are connecting directly with our true nature.

I thought about that idea all the way home.

I thought about how different my life would be if I stopped analyzing and started trusting in all that I encounter in my life. Especially the financial stuff.

All the signs and synchronicity surrounding our home purchase cannot be a mistake, when I look back at each and every detail, only the most magnificent and talented creator in the world could have manifested it. It is true perfection really. Financing in place or not. It is still perfection!

It is when we add our own story to the situation that things get interesting (by interesting I mean stressful and frustrating). Everything comes to us without a story, without an emotion. We make the decision to place a story to it and in making that decision we are expressing mistrust in the infinite wisdom of the Universe.

To trust is to find peace in the now.

To mistrust is to find only unnecessary challenges.

Start trusting in life....what have you got to lose?

More importantly, what do you have to gain!

True reflection

What if today a total stranger came to you.

You don't know how but something about this person is familiar.

He/she looks you right in the eye, you can sense the goodness that radiants out of this person, you suddenly realize you deeply want to be a part of this persons life.

There is something magical, strong, curious and loving about this person.

This person holds all of the qualities you have dreamed of having yourself.

The words he/she speaks to you are golden. Every word bringing deep meaning and peace as they are spoken.

You realize you have been staring at your reflection in the window.

How could this be?

How could this beautiful stranger have been living inside of you?

Your heart leaps with joy at the knowledge that all that you have ever wanted to be, you are.

In every are.


Sunday, April 4, 2010

A good, good day....

Today was a good, good day.

My Easter began with a kiss from my youngest son. He is 10, he crawled into my bed, leaned over top of me and kissed me on the lips, then he said "Happy Easter, Mama".


There was a time when my Easter mornings were filled with stress. When my children were young I was worried whether or not they would enjoy their Easter treats, whether the house was presentable enough for family, whether dinner would turn out perfectly for my guests.

In fact, any holiday stirred up my need for perfection and I would spend the day worrying instead of enjoying.

I went about Easter a bit differently this year. The kids all received ample amounts of candy and each a new toothbrush, yo-yo and bicycle helmet (our puppy chewed their old ones). Nothing close to the extravaganza of gifts they are used to. And you know what, they have had a grand time practicing their yo-yo skills. Even the teenager got into it!

Today, I realized just how far I have come in my quest to be imperfect. I didn't go overboard and my children were happy with that. I didn't plan a huge Easter dinner and we all enjoyed eachother's company anyway.

I am feeling so blessed to have found life without anxiety, stress and worry. It has been a long road, but a very rewarding one, filled with love.

I truly believe the secret to a happy life is Simplicity. It's the simple things that bring us the most joy in life, the simple things are those things you don't have to fight for, search for and beg for. They are the things that are sitting in front of you now. Not some far out, crazy idea you have of the future, but the golden moment you are holding in your hands, now...

Friday, April 2, 2010

A new adventure begins.....


We've sold our house and managed to purchase a house we've had our eyes on for months now. I think we went through this particular house 3 times already. It was one of the only houses that had everything that we needed; basically a basement and an extra bathroom.

To be honest, I never thought we'd ever move from the house that we live in now. I thought we'd be here forever. We have taken this cute little farm house, renovated it and brought all of the visions we had of what it could be the first time we saw it, to life over these past 20 years. To say leaving will be bittersweet is an understatement. (And how do you remove the door jam that has your children's growth recorded on it?)

I find myself moving between feelings of extreme excitement for the new opportunity to live in a town I absolutely love, close to the lake and the sadness of what we are leaving behind.

There are so many memories here. So many trees growing in our yard in celebration of our children's lives.

There are some moments when my mind wanders through all the reasons why we should stay here, it's interesting how much we embrace what we know and find fear in the new and unfamiliar.

This morning I had one of those moments, and realistically I am at the point of no return, however my mind continues to indulge in fear based thought.

I am not the first woman to move from her home after 20 years, nor will I be the last and I am finding a growing appreciation for all those who came before me. Not only in the fact that there is alot of stuff to purge and pack, but also the emotional attachment that as women have to our homes, it is one that runs deep and severing that attachment is a delicate surgery.

As women we come into a home and we make it ours, we make it comfortable for our families, we create memories and love in our homes. Our homes are a reflection of who we are, they are I believe a part of us, even though they are a material possession, we give them personalities and characteristics that embrace us and help us to feel safe and secure.

Even the process of selecting a new home was a challenge for me. I would come home after a day of house hunting and be emotionally exhausted and in need of a nap.

As my husband moved through the houses making sure they were structurally sound, I was busying myself with creating images of my family interacting within the houses. I knew it wouldn't be the right house until I could see and feel my family living in it happily.

Thankfully, the Universe presented us with the house we have purchased and I believe it is the best home for us.

It is a house that is loved and cared for and I appreciate that.

Because that is what we are leaving behind.

A house full of love and memories, and I can only hope the new family coming in enjoy it as much as I have.