Wednesday, September 30, 2009

People on Pedestal's

Have you ever put someone up on a pedestal?  Be honest?

Everyone does at one time or another.  You have a teacher you admire, up he/she goes on the pedestal.  You have a friend that seems to have it all, up she goes on the pedestal.  You have a loved one that has passed away, yep you got it, up on the pedestal they go.  We put celebrities on pedestal's only to disband them when they fail us in some way.

It's an amazing phenomenon really.  Our ability to see things in others that create a sense of respect and awe in us so much so that we put them in a category all their own.  They don't ask us of course to admire them so, we just do.

Did you know that much of what you see in others that you admire, that you yourself hold the same qualities?  It's true.  Also, 99% of the time the very person you've come to put up on a pedestal is dealing with their own demons, their own saboteurs, their own challenges.  And here we are thinking that they are so much better than we are...

I had an interesting conversation with my son tonight after a soccer game.  He was in tears because he didn't feel he did good enough during the game.  He tried to get a couple of shots on net only to have 2 stronger players take the ball away.  I assured him that he did the best he could and that ultimately it's more than just getting goals (although to a 12 year that is all there is to playing!), it's your entire contribution to the team as a whole not just one part.  You see the problem he was having is that he was feeling inadequate because one of the boys on the team insists that he is the best player on the team.  He regularly tells all of the other children this and because they believe it they themselves begin to feel inferior and incapable of doing what this boy seems to think he can do.  In this case the boy in question started the building of the pedestal and the other boys followed through and hoisted him up.  Although I don't agree with the gloating, many people who are their own best cheerleader become quite successful in life because of their views of themselves (maybe not the most popular but certainly successful : )

I asked my son what was stopping him from admitting his own greatness?  What was stopping him from declaring himself a pro soccer player?  He replied that there is usually only one "best" person.  Hmmm

Maybe you've been the one that's been put on a pedestal.  How did that feel?  It's a difficult position to be in really, you've got other people's expectations on you and you yourself cannot see why they depend on you so much because of the host of issues you have within yourself.  And if you fall from the pedestal for nothing more than being human you are immediately surrounded by negativity and accusations. 

The next time you feel the need to put someone up on a pedestal because you admire some of the qualities they hold. STOP.  Look within yourself for those same qualities!  They are there waiting to be noticed and appreciated.

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