Do as I say, not as I do

Remember when your parents would say to you "do as I say, not as I do"?  Usually this piece of advice would pop up when your parents knew damn well they were doing something that went against everything they were trying to teach you, and they felt it necessary to cover their butts about it.

As children we knew this advice made no sense.

It was clear to us that actions spoke louder than their words because the moment we were out of our parents view we would pretend to smoke a cigarette made from a rolled up piece of paper, or we'd pretend to drink beer and get drunk (and later on maybe you stopped pretending and took on these habits for real?)

Lately, I've been noticing there seems to be an epidemic of "do as I say, not as I do".

I see too many people walking around with their "holier than thou" robes on, preaching to all who come into contact with them about how they 'should' live their lives, love one another, be kind, be compassionate, blah blah blah and then turn around and behave in a way that totally annihilates their message.

They may be fooling some people, but for those of us who have our eyes open, it's a disgusting display of hypocrasy.

I remember a few years ago, approaching a woman who was setting up a display at an event.  She was advertising her psychic skills.  I was interested in her services and what she was offering for the day and began to ask her if I could sign my name somewhere to receive a reading.  She turned to me with a scowl on her face and said "your not supposed to get a reading today, I already have all of my readings written out for the people who will be attending today".

I remember thinking "okay then" and walking back to the spot where my display was set up.  I watched this woman all day long and not one person showed up at her booth to receive her services (the ones she had already apparently written up for her potential clients).  I watched this healer/psychic sit all day long eating chocolate bars and drinking Diet Pepsi.  I watched this healer/psychic speak poorly about people who were coming and going, picking apart their choice of dress, etc.

The more I watched her, the more I couldn't for the life of me figure out how she could possibly have such amazing psychic skills when she did nothing that indicated that she loved herself enough to nurture her unique gifts. 

This encounter was at a time in my life when I was just beginning my Reiki practice, I was not confident in my intuitive abilities and had always admired people who were and who could help others through  challenges using their divine gifts.

If you are someone who wants to affect change in this world through the services that you offer, whether you are a lawyer, doctor, priest, civil servant, etc. you need to know that this 'do as I say, not as I do' attitude creates mistrust in the process and that does everything BUT attract people to your services.

I'm not saying you have to work towards sainthood for goodness sakes.  If you just asked yourself "am I the person I want to be in this world, am I the change I want to see?" every once in a while?  How could that change your life?

FYI:  I slip up ALL the time!  Just ask my hubby!  Like when I am driving my son around and I am fiddling with the radio and drinking a coffee, not paying attention to my driving....  This is one of those times where I catch myself being a poor role model and pulling the 'do as I say not as I do' stuff with him because he is learning how to drive and he is going to use the visual I am giving him as a guideline if I don't get my shit together.

Being authentic is a tough process.  You must work through your fears and blockages and beliefs about who you are in the world, tear them down and trust that your natural self is THE only way to be.

Of course we are all where we need to be right now.  We are all on our own perfect path.

I'm just wondering if maybe we can do a little bit better...


 

To think or not to think......

I found this great quote (author unknown)

"Imagine what your life would be.....if you started to think for yourself!"


How many people do you know that could use this advice?  No need to name names!

Whether you're intimidated by someone, don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, afraid of failure or just plain feel you have to follow the "rules" to keep the peace you may feel like you never get the opportunity to think for yourself.

We continuously pack our own thoughts away neatly because there is someone with a stronger opinion than ours making all the decisions.  And when the time comes where we actually have the opportunity to express a thought or opinion, we are totally amazed at how incredibly brilliant we are!

My goodness, why do we keep quiet for SO long?

Have you ever been to a gathering and there are some strong personalities in the group and you are having a discussion, one of the strong personalities states a "fact" (not a known fact, just their fact) or makes a suggestion and everyone quiets down because they disagree with what was said, no one says a word and you just know what they are thinking but they don't want to say it?

Just so you know, I would totally be one of those people keeping my thoughts to myself, and looking around the room wondering who was going to speak up over this issue. 

I used to do it as a kid all the time.  In class when the teacher asked for an answer I would slide down in my seat, stare at my knees or pretend to be concentrating really hard on the book in front of me (trying to make it look like I was thinking of an answer).  And somewhere inside of me I always felt disappointed when I wasn't called upon.  I never felt smart as a kid (that was my sisters domain), I was self conscious and shy and wouldn't have said shit if I had a mouth full of it!

However, in 2009 (that dreaded year) I realized that my practice of ignoring my thoughts (brilliant thoughts at that!) wasn't doing me or the people around me any good.  You know how the Chinese have different animals for different calendar years?  I would have to say that 2009 for me was the year of the MOUTH!

I started step by step opening my mouth just for the heck of it, to see what would come out if I actually allowed my thoughts to form into tangible words.  I found that I really do like what I have to say and that there are people who want to hear my thoughts.  Go figure!


I think our biggest fear about sharing our thoughts is that of judgement from others.  I think ultimately we are afraid that the sky will fall down upon us if we actually speak our mind and so we avoid it like the plague.

You know how many times I have written a blog post, only to erase the whole thing or let it sit in my draft file for months?  Many.  The truth is I am somewhat afraid that what I have to say won't be well received, or may offend someone or may in fact be just plain boring. 

The reality being (and I am aware of this at my core) that if someone has a strong response to anything I write about here, there is a shift occurring within that person and I need to congratulate myself for putting something out there that challenges people's perception.

And so as restitution to myself for 37 years of keeping my mouth shut, I will erase no longer!  I will step into my higher genius and speak about what moves me, whether you like it or not!