Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Tipping the scales

I'm going to hazard a guess that I am not alone in feeling like I don't belong some days.

I have never felt like I belonged.

How many times have you looked at someone who seemed confident, on track and living their purpose and find yourself thinking of how much you wish you could be that person or at least possess the qualities it takes to live an exceptional life.

I have always felt like I am searching for that place that embraces me wholly and nurtures my core being.  And I have spent all of my 37 years comparing myself to other people (in the sense that everyone had something that I don't), wondering why it was that I was not blessed with the talent, skill, focus and stamina to be successful in life.

By describing myself did I just inadvertently describe you?

We've spent our whole lives living up to other people's expectations only to find that those expectations feel uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of thong underwear 2 sizes too small???  (yikes there's an image).

There's a reason why our lives feel uncomfortable and why it is that we feel we don't belong where we are - it's because we don't!  Plain and simple....  We don't fit.  No matter where you are right now, if you are feeling a need to run screaming for your life in the opposite direction then it is time to take notice of that and figure out why it is that you feel like a square peg in a round hole and change it!

You're going to say "I hate my job, I don't belong there, but I can't just quit my job because there are bills to pay and babies to feed, and ..............."  There is a simple solution to that dilemma my friend.  What is it you are passionate about - ignore the job for a moment, what is it that really makes your boat float?  Is it painting, drawing, dancing, golfing, hiking, biking, reading......

We spend too much time in the "I don't belong here and so I have to be miserable about it" phase in life.  We give our lives to our jobs and not to ourselves.  Pay yourself first is the term I love.  Go to work, be productive there, but then pay yourself for doing it.  Take 1-2 hours/day and do something you enjoy, something that makes you feel like you are experiencing a little taste of heaven.

We feel like we don't belong in our skin and in our lives because we have tipped the scale over to the side where things are not fun.  Our true being, our true nature and our true purpose on this planet is to experience and enJOY those experiences!  period.  There's no magic formula, no 12 step program to get you there.  Find your balance.  It looks different for different people.  Some people absolutely love to work (I am NOT one of them, but thankfully my husband is!) and that's great for them, but for the other 98% of us we need to have some serious play time thrown in to keep ourselves sane!

Take a trip down memory lane and unearth the excitement that you used to participate in.

When you draw the scales back into balance there will no longer be room for feeling like you don't belong. 

You will feel vibrant and alive, you will feel like you've been given a life transplant.


  1. This is beautiful, Jenn. Something for me to think about, I felt like I could say ALOT of what you said here about myself, infact I think most times when I am down it is because I am envious of someone else. That sounds odd when I say it out loud.

    I should take time to do things that i really, really enjoy each day, I don't do it enough. Tonight I just took a LONG hot bath with a magazine full of pretty, inspiring images... It felt amazing for not only my sore knees and big purple toe but, for my being. It just felt good.. Usually I am in too much of a rush and just take a shower instead.

  2. Thanks for sharing Carrie, I knew I wasn't alone : )


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