We are all looking for our purpose in life. Some of us search high and low for that thing that will make us feel alive.
But what if you are living your purpose and you aren't aware of it? What if you are happy with what you are doing but you think there must be something more out there to make it complete.
This has been my struggle the past few months (okay, I lied it's more like years).
I am a stay at home mom and an entrepreneur. I spend my days caring for the house and working on marketing my business and interacting with clients.
Do I feel purposeful? Not really...
But I am living my purpose. Each day I am actively engaging in my soul's purpose.
My life's purpose is that of healer and master of family and relationships.
I haven't always known this. The knowledge came about a month ago when I had my hand prints analyzed (something I highly recommend by going here
Since receiving this information I have felt relief that I have been doing exactly what I have been meant to do, however I am also struggling with the fact that being home with my children hasn't felt purposeful enough to me. Perhaps it's because I've felt guilty for not contributing to the household finances, maybe it's because as a society we don't value stay at home mothers. More likely it is because I didn't trust that my heart was leading me to do what I came to this planet to do. Society tells us to go out, work our butts off and make some money so that our children can have the finer things in life. That can definitely rub against someone who has a different path to take.
It's something I've struggled with for the 12 years I've been a stay at home mom. The struggle between being a mom and feeling purposeful and worthy, wanting to make a difference in the world.
Let's face it motherhood is an amazing experience, it is also very hard work. At the end of the day when you are counting how many times you got frustrated with a child are you feeling purposeful?
I can't say I ever felt purposeful cleaning vomit out of beds in the middle of the night, but somehow I was.
As my children are getting older I am beginning to see glimpses of the impact my presence has had on them though. The way they care for others, their independence and abilities to care for themselves, they are supportive, loving and kind.
I suppose I had something to do with all of that, even though during that time I felt like I was just getting by, emotionally, physically and financially.
I do believe that part of my not embracing my role as mother whole heartedly was because I always felt like I was fighting against the current. Going against the grain of what others wanted me to do. Little did I know at the time that this builds strength and character. It turns you into a leader. It turns you into someone that people admire and respect.
I can say without a doubt that I would make the exact same decision again. I have been able to see every sporting event, play, speech, and spelling bee. I have been able to volunteer within my children's school and be present for them when they have had a tough day.
What I want to say to every mom who feels isolated, unworthy and confused about their role on this planet is that you are doing the Universe's toughest job, only the best of the best are called forth to perform the noble duty of which you have enlisted your services.
Mothers do it all on their own! They don't have assistants who schedule their days for them, they don't have people writing their speeches and telling them what to say, they don't have someone whispering the answers into a microphone in their ear when they are faced with a dilemma.
They do it on their own, and they do it pro bono!
Now that is something to feel purposeful about!