Don't Change....

So this title probably freaked you out a little....  Since I'm usually going on about how things change and you change and everybody changes and you need to suck it up and go with the flow.

This post is a little different though. 

I find so many people forcing themselves to change because someone else wants them to be different and then becoming miserable with life because they don't know how to get back to where they were!

For instance; you can spot someone a mile away that looks like they are totally uncomfortable in that flashy new outfit that new boy/girlfriend loves on them.  Doing something like this for someone we care about is a noble act, but does it make you feel more the way you want to feel?

I think we may do this because we don't trust ourselves and sometimes we have no sense of who WE are and what WE like or we question ourselves because maybe it doesn't fit the 'norm' mould that others would love to place us in.

Maybe you are a couch potato, video game playing, pyjama junkie and 'new person in your life' is a little more outgoing.  Do you find yourself feeling guilty if you don't enjoy the social scene?  Do you find yourself questioning who you are?  What about criticizing or judging yourself because you'd rather be home cuddled up with hottest new XBOX release instead of out on the town stuffed into a 3 piece suit?

Of course it's not just new relationships and it's no big deal to go out once in a while to make someone's day.  Some of us grew up with the sense that someone knew us better than we know ourselves.  No matter what the scenerio, it happens to each of us at one time or another.

Heck, if it were up to the opinions of others I wouldn't still be blogging (especially that guy who once commented that my blog was a waste of space)!  And I certainly wouldn't be pursuing my passions in healing and teaching!

I can totally see the appeal of giving someone else control of who we are and what we will become though.  I mean if we don't know for ourselves then isn't someone else better off with that job?

I've had experience being someone who has given away that control, as well as one who has tried to change someone we love (haven't we all?). 

I can't count how many times I've wanted change for a friend more badly than the friend wanted that change.

Or how many pairs of brand new, never been worn pants are hanging in my husbands closet from the times I insisted he try a different style than what he prefers.

It's important NOT to change just because someone would prefer it.  It's important to not to give up your outspoken enthusiasm for life.  It's important to not give up your personal style, love of the arts, creativity, authenticity and wisdom.  It's important to dance to the beat of your own heart.

It's important to stand up for WHO YOU ARE!

Because if you don't you'll be robbing the planet of the incredible gift of the authentic YOU.


**Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it.  Not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. ~ Buddha**

You are That!

I love love love having coffee chats with my friends.

I think of them as creative coffee chats because an idea always presents itself or a previous thought blossoms into reality in the blink of an eye.

There's something about these times that lights a fire under me and gets me moving in a great direction!

Today was no different, as I sipped my peppermint tea and listened to my friend speak about how pleasantly surprised she is to be surrounded by so many amazing people these days, it warmed me up (the words, not the tea).

In a world where we strive to become something bigger and better, we rarely stop and take a look at what we already have surrounding us.

This includes the wonderful people we call friends, acquaintances and colleagues.

Her sentiment resonated within me and I shared with her that the mere fact that she is surrounded by amazing, beautiful, talented and powerful people is because she is that!  She is amazing, beautiful, talented and powerful herself.  Why shouldn't she be surrounded by the same?

We often miss this big piece of the self love puzzle.

The easiest and quickest way for us to recognize our self worth is to look around us. 

Look around at all of the beauty in the people that call you friend.  You are that beauty.

Look around at all of the wisdom.  You are that wisdom.

Look around at all that love, happiness, creativity.  You are that!

So next time you are down and out, feeling alone or lonely, feeling unloved or unworthy, just look around at all of the people that love you and adore you and think you are the cat's ass!

Because you are that!

Love that Inner Beauty

"Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical."
 ~  Sophia Loren

This quote couldn't have shown up at a better time for me.

I spent some time last weekend with my good friend Lee-Ann from Ginger Snaps! working on some new head shots.

I have never been a lover of being in front of the camera.  In fact, most of the pictures in my children's photo albums are of them with their dad, or with friends, very rarely is there a picture of me.

To say I hate getting my picture taken would be an understatement.

Lee-Ann always has her work cut out for her when she works with me because I tense up, there is not a natural flow to my movement or my facial expressions.  She says 'just be you' and I try very hard to do that, and I still end up holding a pose until I hear the snap of the camera.

It's just uncomfortable.

So when Lee-Ann posted some pics on facebook to advertise what she has done and show me how great the shots turned out, I had to face my fear, literally head on! 

I had to stare into the eyes of the woman who does not fully appreciate her unique beauty. 

And it all became clear.  Well, clear in the way that it's something I've always known, just never allowed myself to believe.

That your outer beauty is really a reflection of what is in your heart.  Like the quote says your inner beauty is reflected in your eyes.

My husband tells me all of the time that he wishes I could see myself the way he sees me.  And I have to say that somedays I wish I could too.

I wish I could look at pictures of myself without cringing.

And thanks to Lee-Ann, I am getting the opportunity to do just that :)

Helllooo, divine feminine....Where are you?

The topic of the divine feminine has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now.

As I grabbed Marianne Williamson's book "A Woman's Worth" off my bookshelf for the first time and leafed through it, I began to realize just how far away I have pushed my divine feminine "powers".  Her words about feminine power and the ways of a woman really touched me and at the same time had me feeling frustrated and confused about where I am in this moment with those feminine powers.  I feel like I have misplaced them somewhere, like a set of car keys.

I can see it in the way I dress myself, the lack of effort I put towards my hair and make up, the muted colors I choose for my wardrobe.  There's no color, no fun in anything I wear.  To quote a good friend during a conversation about my struggle with this topic; "my inside isn't matching my outside".  I feel more frumpy than sexy.

Inside I feel love, joy and gratitude almost consistently.  Yet you wouldn't know it by my physical appearance.  My outward appearance looks tired, worn out.

Years of giving all of my energy to my son's and husband, throwing on jeans and a sweatshirt to head to the arena and watch hours upon hours of hockey.  Working from home as a healer means I don't have a need to get all dressed up in the morning.  The lack of time these days to write, draw and create have me drifting even farther from the girl I want to be.

I want to be comfortable inside and out, and I want to look good and inspire other women at the same time.

During yoga class yesterday I found myself staring into the mirror as I held the Warrior pose.  I forced myself to look over my body, I watched myself hold that pose, strong and powerful in that moment.  And I wanted to hug that woman in the mirror, to tell her that she is beautiful, that she is powerful no matter how it looks on the outside and that she is well on her way to becoming reacquainted with her divine femininity.