I've kept it a secret for too long.
Been in the closet with the door locked, sitting in the dark wondering if I'd ever get the nerve to admit my addiction.
Today's the day.
I woke up this morning and realized I can't live with this lie any longer.
Here goes.
I am addicted to acceptance.
Whew.
I feel lighter already.
The problem with being addicted to acceptance is that the need is never really met. The craving is so intense that you will do anything to get it! The side affect of this addiction of course is that even the smallest amounts of outward acceptance cannot tame the need! The more you receive acceptance from others the more you feel starved of it!
A never ending cycle.
Or is it?
Admitting this addiction has been a very big part of my personal growth process lately. I've been watching myself in certain situations and noticing my reactions and feelings in moments of someone expressing their acceptance of me.
It feels good still, but it doesn't have the same hold on me that it used to. What used to make me feel warm and fuzzy for days, quickly loses it's sparkly happiness and sends me into a place of questioning "If that person can so easily accept me, why can't I?"
This is where the junkie in me can step even further into the stronghold of the addiction or I can recognize that I'm no longer in need of outward acceptance and move forward.
I realize that what I truly want is the permanent high of self acceptance. It's what I've been looking for all of this time, I was just going about it the 'wrong' way. Or is that the 'right' way since eventually I got it!
What addiction have you been hiding? How is it keeping you from moving forward?
Been in the closet with the door locked, sitting in the dark wondering if I'd ever get the nerve to admit my addiction.
Today's the day.
I woke up this morning and realized I can't live with this lie any longer.
Here goes.
I am addicted to acceptance.
Whew.
I feel lighter already.
The problem with being addicted to acceptance is that the need is never really met. The craving is so intense that you will do anything to get it! The side affect of this addiction of course is that even the smallest amounts of outward acceptance cannot tame the need! The more you receive acceptance from others the more you feel starved of it!
A never ending cycle.
Or is it?
Admitting this addiction has been a very big part of my personal growth process lately. I've been watching myself in certain situations and noticing my reactions and feelings in moments of someone expressing their acceptance of me.
It feels good still, but it doesn't have the same hold on me that it used to. What used to make me feel warm and fuzzy for days, quickly loses it's sparkly happiness and sends me into a place of questioning "If that person can so easily accept me, why can't I?"
This is where the junkie in me can step even further into the stronghold of the addiction or I can recognize that I'm no longer in need of outward acceptance and move forward.
I realize that what I truly want is the permanent high of self acceptance. It's what I've been looking for all of this time, I was just going about it the 'wrong' way. Or is that the 'right' way since eventually I got it!
What addiction have you been hiding? How is it keeping you from moving forward?
I think you've just discovered what every single person in the WORLD is addicted to, whether they admit it or not. I find that my need to be accepted comes and goes in waves. It's usually concurrent with my hormones. So yay for that.
ReplyDeleteMark Twain once said...I can live on a good compliment for two months. Sadly, many women are starved for the next one the next day. However this got me thinking, what good for a man could come out of changing this? Men would lose their power over women if women no longer needed a compliment to feel valued? YIKES....time to close my big mouth!
ReplyDeleteI think as women we all share this addiction. I also take mine with a side of guilt. It's quite the combination.
ReplyDelete