We've sold our house and managed to purchase a house we've had our eyes on for months now. I think we went through this particular house 3 times already. It was one of the only houses that had everything that we needed; basically a basement and an extra bathroom.
To be honest, I never thought we'd ever move from the house that we live in now. I thought we'd be here forever. We have taken this cute little farm house, renovated it and brought all of the visions we had of what it could be the first time we saw it, to life over these past 20 years. To say leaving will be bittersweet is an understatement. (And how do you remove the door jam that has your children's growth recorded on it?)
I find myself moving between feelings of extreme excitement for the new opportunity to live in a town I absolutely love, close to the lake and the sadness of what we are leaving behind.
There are so many memories here. So many trees growing in our yard in celebration of our children's lives.
There are some moments when my mind wanders through all the reasons why we should stay here, it's interesting how much we embrace what we know and find fear in the new and unfamiliar.
This morning I had one of those moments, and realistically I am at the point of no return, however my mind continues to indulge in fear based thought.
I am not the first woman to move from her home after 20 years, nor will I be the last and I am finding a growing appreciation for all those who came before me. Not only in the fact that there is alot of stuff to purge and pack, but also the emotional attachment that as women have to our homes, it is one that runs deep and severing that attachment is a delicate surgery.
As women we come into a home and we make it ours, we make it comfortable for our families, we create memories and love in our homes. Our homes are a reflection of who we are, they are I believe a part of us, even though they are a material possession, we give them personalities and characteristics that embrace us and help us to feel safe and secure.
Even the process of selecting a new home was a challenge for me. I would come home after a day of house hunting and be emotionally exhausted and in need of a nap.
As my husband moved through the houses making sure they were structurally sound, I was busying myself with creating images of my family interacting within the houses. I knew it wouldn't be the right house until I could see and feel my family living in it happily.
Thankfully, the Universe presented us with the house we have purchased and I believe it is the best home for us.
It is a house that is loved and cared for and I appreciate that.
Because that is what we are leaving behind.
A house full of love and memories, and I can only hope the new family coming in enjoy it as much as I have.