Friday, April 23, 2010

My forgotten power...

It should not come as a surprise to me that I seemed to have forgotten my power. I am afterall human, and sometimes when problems and struggles arise we somehow forget who we are and turn into teary-eyed and sleep-deprived zombies with no direction and little faith in ourselves.

I have become a zombie lately. My days consist of packing whatever I can in a day and worrying about our financial situation with regards to our new home purchase. I'm in bed by 9:00pm and dream all night of moving into the new house and all the things that need to get done in order to do that. I am literally running around all day AND all night!

And in perfect order and fine fashion the Universe has handed me yet another stumbling block in the financial department today.

I am at a loss as to what to do. Which is wonderful in a way, because there is NOTHING I can do. And this shows me the divine truth that is unmistakable. Now if I could only get my ego to stop insisting that I run around like a crazy woman worrying over the situation.

The power I have forgotten about is the power to recognize the truth in every situation, good or unpleasant (I won't say it is bad, because it isn't, it's just uncomfortable). The truth of this situation is A) I don't have control over it. B) life is an illusion and therefore this situation isn't real either C) I created this stumbling block and I can un-create it or ignore it and D) There is a peaceful place inside of me waiting for me to make the decision to access it, to find refuge in it.

All of this information seems to float around in my mind and heart, so why then is it so difficult to put it into action when the time comes. Why do we automatically put up our defenses and start to blame someone else for what we ourselves have created.

Maybe this is some of what keeps me from accessing my power. The guilt and shame that I put on myself because I know that I alone am at "fault" for what is happening. That something inside of me thought this would be fun to experience and so therefore I am.

So, here is what I am doing about it, because there is literally nothing physical I can do at this point. I am visualizing the people, places, circumstances surrounding the road block and I am seeing myself with a giant eraser and I am erasing these things out of the story. This may or may not work, but at the moment I can think of nothing else since I have run out of positive affirmations, EFT'd myself to bruising and have almost overdosed on Rescue Remedy :)

The upside? Tomorrow HAS to be a better day!

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for being honest. I love the pastel art! Let's have a pastel art night soon! Kelly


I enjoy receiving your respectful comments :)