Showing posts with label loving yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loving yourself. Show all posts

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Do You Have Comparitosis?

You know; I wasn't back on facebook more than 48 hours (after a month long facebook diet) and I found myself right back into the cycle that made me leave facebook in the first place.

That is the moment I realized I am suffering from a common ailment I have affectionately dubbed Comparitosis.

Comparitosis is both non-life threathening AND life threatening.  It's a tricky little dis-ease that I estimate 90% of the human population suffers from without knowledge. 

Comparitosis is a psychological dis-ease that encourages you to adopt false, negative beliefs about your self-worth and potential.

Flare ups of comparitosis can happen in an instant.  You can be moving along, enjoying life, loving yourself when all of a sudden BAM! it hits you.  Somebody else does or attains something you have always wanted to do or have and because you unknowingly suffer from comparitosis you immediately go into how you have nothing and the other person has everything or you are a nobody and the other person is a somebody.

My form of comparitosis flares up when I see someone achieving something I believe looks like success.  Immediately my body turns hot and I feel overwhelmed by sadness at the things I am not successfully accomplishing.

Other forms of comparitosis involve but are not limited to material possessions, finances, career and family.

I'm beginning to understand my dis-ease as insanity and am working on controlling the flare ups before someone around here discovers I would be more comfortable in one of those little white jackets that buckles in the back and makes it so that I hug myself tightly. 

Funny thing about comparitosis though, the minute you realize you have it.  It kinda sorta goes into remission.  I have suffered with this dis-ease of perception since I was a little girl and it wasn't until that moment on facebook that I realized it was affecting me on such an intense level.

I am learning as I go, but so far I have figured out a few things about how to reduce comparitosis flare ups and I thought I'd share them.

* Immediately remove yourself from the cause of the flare up.  AKA turn off facebook or turn away from the conversation.
* Keep paper and pencil handy.  When you discover yourself at the onset or in the middle of a comparitosis flare up, the best defense is to write down the comparison.  example "Sally lost 25lbs in 1 month and I am still overweight and unhappy; I'll never lose weight".
* Take it to the next level.  With the same pencil and paper, write down ALL of the things you can think of that you have accomplished in your lifetime (size does not matter, write it ALL down).
* Do the happy dance.  Moving your body is like a reset button for the emotions and is a great way to celebrate your accomplishments.  Once you have written down all of your accomplishments, turn on the music and dance around (again size does not matter, just move!).

I took these steps the other day in removing myself from a comparitosis episode and found that my list was really, really long.  What I realized is that my accomplishments in my 39.7 years of being on this planet are probably more than most people would only dream of accomplishing.

Once my list was written I posted it on the refrigerator so that I can see it everyday.  A great reminder of an accomplished woman who is working hard to free herself from the confines of comparitosis.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Hair Razing......

This won't come as a big shock to anyone who knows me well...

I shaved my head today...

Well, the guy thought it would be best to not shave the whole thing and try to get somewhat of a style out of it (chicken) and so I have sort of a mohawk thing going on...

But still.... It feels Fucking Fantastic!  Liberating!  Empowering!  Kick Ass Awesome!

I've been feeling the need to shave my head for about a month now, the urge just kept getting stronger and stronger until today when the urge had me hunting down cheap hair salons just to get the job done!

All the way home from my morning appointment I found myself wanting to turn into each salon that I passed until I finally settled on one close to home.

The hair thing is symbolic of the transformation I've been going through. 

I have outgrown the person I used to be.  Worried about hair color and style.  Always looking for something new to make me feel better about myself.

I can honestly say I feel free!  Free of obligation to do something with that regrowth that won't go away without a little chemical dependency! 

Free of obligation to style and fuss over the top of my head to the point where I am too exhausted to worry about the rest of my appearance! 

Free of worry whether or not the rain and wind will ruin my hard work once I have completed!

Freedom; plain and simple.
Did you think I wasn't going to show you?

A little side view shot for you...


Friday, December 17, 2010

boobs, butts and bellies.....NOW have I got your attention!

If your a regular to this blog, you will no doubt have noticed I am on a kick to embrace my divine femininity.

I have to say that it's been quite intense over the last couple of weeks.  I'm finding myself weaving in and out of old and new stories about myself.  I feel like I've been given a magnifying glass to look at myself more clearly.

I've been doing more to help myself feel better in my skin.

I've been making an effort to attend yoga classes at the local gym (and I'm finally learning to love yoga and what it does for the body and mind!)

I've also begun to make a ritual out of really facing myself and looking at myself in the mirror every morning.  The trick to this is to have no thoughts as I am doing so. 

One day as I was investigating every inch of my body as I stood in front of the mirror, I once again noticed all of the stretch marks and wrinkles on my belly.

This part of my body has disgusted me for years, since I've had children.  Gone is the once tight smooth skin of my abdomen (that unfortunately even THEN I didn't appreciate).  What is left in it's place is a bulging bunch of wrinkly skin.  My navel barely recognizable! 

This particular day though I took a closer look and I could hardly believe my eyes!  I noticed that the lines on my belly resembled a tree!  The roots, trunk and branches all very defined and visible.  How could I have missed this amazing visual effect all of these years?!?!?

Wow, a tree!

At that moment I connected to the realization that I have never appreciated the symbolism of this part of my body. The sacrifice my body made to create, nurture, house and grow another being into life.  It truly is magnificent. 

As women we talk alot about our bodies.  It doesn't seem to matter what the conversation is about, somehow it turns to a discussion about boobs, butts and bellies.  What we'd like to change, what we wish we could upgrade, what could use a downsize or upsize. 

We do all that we can to improve ourselves, no matter the cost to our health sometimes.

I hear that when a woman hits her fifties that she begins to be comfortable with her body, her life, herself.

I don't want to wait 12 years to become comfortable with myself.  I don't want to wait 12 years to finally embrace my inner Goddess, to finally be able to step into my feminine power and love my body.

I want that now!  How 'bout you?

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

We are Love

I woke up this morning feeling so Loved.... For no particular reason.... Just Loved.

It's not my birthday, it's not Mother's Day, it's actually no special occasion at all.

I was alone in my room when I woke up. No one was standing beside the bed with flowers, no one was showering me with kisses and hugs.

But still I felt Loved.

I laid in bed with my eyes open wondering who was sending me all of this beautiful Love? Was someone thinking of me in that moment with Loving thoughts in their mind?

Maybe.

No sooner had I thought that someone outside of myself was sending Love my way, did a voice come into my head and say "It's you. It's the Love that you ARE that makes you feel this way. It is always there, you just need to notice it."

It's a message I think that is meant for all of us, and so I am sharing it with you. Consider it YOUR message for today.

When your marriage is a mess. When your boyfriend/girlfriend decides you aren't the one for them any longer. When it seems your family doesn't support and appreciate you. When you are feeling lonely and unloved.

Remember this message.

You are the Love that you seek. It is not outside of you. Someone else cannot give you the Love that you want. Only you can give you that Love!

You are Love.

We are Love.

Isn't that GREAT!?!