Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Hoping for a Miraculous Recovery

My dog Willow has been very sick for about 2 weeks now.  She started off moping around, not looking too thrilled about life in general.  It escalated to not eating, not drinking, drooling non stop, vomitting, withdrawal and randomly staring at walls.  She has taken to peeing by the door and not alerting anyone to her needs most likely because she can't make it up and down the stairs of the deck.  She is lethargic and doesn't engage when spoken to.

The vet didn't have an answer as to why she is behaving this way.  He did blood tests, all of which came back normal and he gave her an antibiotic to cover those bases.  However, things are still the same.

Two nights in a row now I have wondered if she was even going to make it through the night as her breathing seemed to be laboured.

I am treating her to lots of Reiki to help her find comfort, I'm giving her water with a syringe to keep her hydrated and she's still not eating properly, despite efforts at making food more appealing.

I think she is depressed.  I think she has lost the will to live and I can see why.  Where we once lived on a farm where she could roam the open fields we now live in a subdivision with a fenced in yard.  Where she once was able to go wherever and do whatever she now needs to be on a leash for the most part to adventure out of the yard.  Where we once lived in a small home where everyone was readily available, we now live in a house 3X the size of our old one and we tend to be scattered all over the place.

Her environment has changed drastically.  Add to that we gave away her outdoor kennel a couple of weeks ago (coincidence, I think not!) as we were no longer using it (fenced back yard) so now that has been taken away as well.

Common sense would've told me all of this was too much for a dog to process, she seemed to be handling it all well enough and I just wasn't thinking.

Another thing came up yesterday as a good friend of mine was over and was having a look at Willow.  She asked me what it was I was holding onto that would make this dog so sick?  Pets tend to mirror our hidden junk and behaviours.

Of course they do! 

I knew that!  I just....um....forgot.... {weak smile}

We did a couple of rounds of EFT on her, which ended with me in tears over the fact that I realized I have no control over whether my beautiful pup lives or dies.  That no matter what I do to try and save her and bring her back to her usual self I still have no control.

Where else does this relate?  This feeling of having no control, of having to deal with whatever I've been handed....  Hmmmm?

I realized it at 3AM this morning as I was treating Willow to another session of Reiki, that even though the decision to move to a new town was ours to make, and we live in the house we truly wanted and everyone is ecstatically happy about where we are now, there was still a part of me that felt as though someone picked me up and plunked me down here.  Everything was quite quick, we sold our house after only a few short months of it being on the market, and when we sold we had 3 weeks to find a house and move into it.  It all happened so fast that I barely had time to process all of what I was feeling.  In a way I felt that was the way to go about it, now I'm thinking there is this person inside of me that wanted a little validation and I didn't give her the time of day.  And that my friends is EXACTLY how my puppy has been acting lately.  Like she didn't have a choice, like there is no reason to live, like someone just picked her up and plunked her down and didn't even ask her if she was going to like it or not.

This is a major revelation for me (and for Willow).

She woke up this morning with a better appetite, her eyes look brighter, she is wagging her tail and she even went to the front door when someone rang the doorbell this morning!

We might not be out of the woods yet, however, at least I know a difference has been made with my realization and hopefully this translates into a miraculous recovery for Willow....  Hopefully.

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