The Summer of Change

Oh my goodness...  First day back to school for the kids...

My mind is flooded with the possibilities for this day, this total silence mom has control of both computers and can play any kind of music she wants day.....

It is certainly a day of bitter sweet celebration.

Where did the summer go?

Yesterday was emotional for my youngest son.  He was in tears over the fact that summer slipped through his fingers and he didn't do anything worthwhile to speak of.

Unless you count the gazillion mechanical robots and cars he created with his lego.  Or the countless NERF gun wars he had with his brothers.  Or the bike rides to the beach, the trip to the cottage and the visits with family and friends.

I have to admit as summer break came to a close I had these same thoughts in my head.  It happens every year really, the urge to make a mad dash to get it all in before the last day falls upon us.

If I look back I can see that the summer was jam packed already.  Maybe not with as many spectacular activities that my son would have preferred, for me it was filled with personal connections and growth.  I learned alot about myself this summer and as I look around at the people in my circle of influence I can see that tremendous changed happened for all of us. 

One friend connected with her truth, another had her second child.  One friend connected with her divine skills as a medium and has been helping people who have been struggling with their grief.  Another friend let go of her feelings that she was unloveable and still another connected with her true passion in business!  And those are just a few mentions!

It definitely was the summer of change and personal growth.

How did it change you?

Be the change....

Mahatma Ghandi's message 'be the change you wish to see in the world' is probably my most favourite message of all time.

Years ago, I really didn't know how I (little old me) could possibly be the change I wanted to see in the world.  I remember feeling so deeply that I wanted to make a difference, leave a legacy of love in this world and at the same time I had no idea how I could do that.

How could a mom from a very small town in SouthWestern Ontario make any difference at all in this world.  The world seemed so big, with it's problems even bigger.

As time went on however, and my resolve to 'be the change' grew along with my 'job' as mother, I realized that the most powerful 'change maker' in the world is actually a mother.

Whether you had the most loving mother as a role model or the most abusive, critical or absent mother. 
She was a huge catalyst for change in this world.

Mothers push us to become our best.

To the ears of young children searching for appreciation; criticism from the woman who birthed us (or adopted us) can be sharp and painful.  As we grow into adults though, we can see how our mother's behaviour has molded us and we use what we learned from her to grow more strong and confident in ourselves.  We then become the mother we wished we had.

Without the model of the most loving, compassionate and nurturing mother we might not know the secret ingredients to cooking the best meal, or making the most out of an evening of entertaining friends or how to give the best hugs and kisses at bedtime.

Regardless of our upbringing, it is without a doubt, our mothers who are and who have been the catalyst of change in our lives and in the world.

It is mother's who raise their children to respect themselves and others, who stand on the sidelines and cheer their children onto success, who lay beside a sick child rubbing their hair hoping it will help them feel better.  Mother's will give up their souls for their children without asking twice.  And it is a mother who will worry and wonder until the day she dies whether or not she did the absolute best she could do.

So, whether you're a stay at home mom (who is over worked and under appreciated), or a working mom (who is over worked and under appreciated); understand that you are being the change that you wish to see in this world by raising strong, confident, loving, trustworthy, responsible children.

You have the power to change this world into heaven on earth through your care and love for your children.

So if all this time you thought you were 'just a mom'.  Think again!

You are a strong and powerful catalyst of change. 

Never underestimate the strength of a mother.

Happy Mother's Day!

Do as I say, not as I do

Remember when your parents would say to you "do as I say, not as I do"?  Usually this piece of advice would pop up when your parents knew damn well they were doing something that went against everything they were trying to teach you, and they felt it necessary to cover their butts about it.

As children we knew this advice made no sense.

It was clear to us that actions spoke louder than their words because the moment we were out of our parents view we would pretend to smoke a cigarette made from a rolled up piece of paper, or we'd pretend to drink beer and get drunk (and later on maybe you stopped pretending and took on these habits for real?)

Lately, I've been noticing there seems to be an epidemic of "do as I say, not as I do".

I see too many people walking around with their "holier than thou" robes on, preaching to all who come into contact with them about how they 'should' live their lives, love one another, be kind, be compassionate, blah blah blah and then turn around and behave in a way that totally annihilates their message.

They may be fooling some people, but for those of us who have our eyes open, it's a disgusting display of hypocrasy.

I remember a few years ago, approaching a woman who was setting up a display at an event.  She was advertising her psychic skills.  I was interested in her services and what she was offering for the day and began to ask her if I could sign my name somewhere to receive a reading.  She turned to me with a scowl on her face and said "your not supposed to get a reading today, I already have all of my readings written out for the people who will be attending today".

I remember thinking "okay then" and walking back to the spot where my display was set up.  I watched this woman all day long and not one person showed up at her booth to receive her services (the ones she had already apparently written up for her potential clients).  I watched this healer/psychic sit all day long eating chocolate bars and drinking Diet Pepsi.  I watched this healer/psychic speak poorly about people who were coming and going, picking apart their choice of dress, etc.

The more I watched her, the more I couldn't for the life of me figure out how she could possibly have such amazing psychic skills when she did nothing that indicated that she loved herself enough to nurture her unique gifts. 

This encounter was at a time in my life when I was just beginning my Reiki practice, I was not confident in my intuitive abilities and had always admired people who were and who could help others through  challenges using their divine gifts.

If you are someone who wants to affect change in this world through the services that you offer, whether you are a lawyer, doctor, priest, civil servant, etc. you need to know that this 'do as I say, not as I do' attitude creates mistrust in the process and that does everything BUT attract people to your services.

I'm not saying you have to work towards sainthood for goodness sakes.  If you just asked yourself "am I the person I want to be in this world, am I the change I want to see?" every once in a while?  How could that change your life?

FYI:  I slip up ALL the time!  Just ask my hubby!  Like when I am driving my son around and I am fiddling with the radio and drinking a coffee, not paying attention to my driving....  This is one of those times where I catch myself being a poor role model and pulling the 'do as I say not as I do' stuff with him because he is learning how to drive and he is going to use the visual I am giving him as a guideline if I don't get my shit together.

Being authentic is a tough process.  You must work through your fears and blockages and beliefs about who you are in the world, tear them down and trust that your natural self is THE only way to be.

Of course we are all where we need to be right now.  We are all on our own perfect path.

I'm just wondering if maybe we can do a little bit better...


 

Good Enough

When was the last time you felt "not good enough"?

I'll go first....

2:00 this afternoon.

Thankfully, I've grown to recognize these moments for what they are.....total bullshit! 
It did leave me wondering though how many people aren't feeling like they are "good enough" these days.

How about the new mom that can't seem to get her baby to stop crying.  The dad that's been laid off from his job due to cutbacks.  The parents learning how to deal with teenage drama.  Or the woman who envies how beautifully the girl next to her can hold a yoga pose?

If we allow ourselves, we can be overcome by feelings of "not good enough" because everything around us suggests that we need to be doing more to be getting more.

The truth is that you are more than enough in every way right now.  I know this because each of us is exactly where we need to be right NOW.  If we weren't, we'd be somewhere else doing something else.

The need to recognize our unique characteristics and abilities is extremely important to developing a sense of well-being and balance in our lives, as well as overcoming these "ego" challenges that pop up once in a while. 

How do you do that?  How do you go about knowing who you are, what would really make you happy?

It can be really simple, or you can make it as difficult as you like.  Depends on how you like to do things.

I'm a simple kind of girl.  For me, it's just about being aware of my emotions when I'm dealing with each moment.   And to do that it takes some quiet time, lots of deep breathing and lots of talking to myself.

Just like today at 2:00 when I got a twinge of that "not good enough" stuff coming up.  I took a moment, took a deep breath and looked at my reality. 

The reality is I'm doing great just the way I am!  I don't NEED anything more to make me happy or to make me feel more productive or fulfilled....  WHEW!

Then I asked myself "do you really want to learn more to do more OR do you really want to have more time with the people in your life to affect change now with what you have?" 

That's an easy one....  I pick door #2.

The other thing is to recognize why you want to do more.  Are you doing it because it would please the status quo if you did?  Maybe get hubby off your back about the finances?  Maybe prove to your unapproving family member that you are worth something?  If you are going to take part in something just to please someone or something outside of yourself you need to rethink your strategy!

I've found that it's the simple things in life that make it all worth it.  When I steer myself in the direction of "complicated", that's when I find things get a little stressful and I get stuck more often.

"Complicated" doesn't always equal "good enough".

The Sum of My Small Steps....

The other day I was doing some writing in my creative journal and I came across an entry I made more than a year ago that said "I am the sum of my small steps.  When my steps seem their smallest, it is then that I am learning the most".

I had forgotten that I made that entry until I read it again.

And today, the thought hit me again as I sat in the Reiki class I was teaching.  And I found myself explaining to my students that it is when you are at your lowest point in life that you are doing your greatest learning.

I can remember a time in my life when it felt like all I was doing was living on the high of life's peaks and the low's of life's valleys.  Up and down my emotions and life would go, consistently, day after day after day.

It felt like I wasn't getting anywhere at all.  My steps seemed so small.

I wasn't allowing myself the opportunity to nurture myself while I was in those valleys.  I would criticize and judge myself, then I would push through the fatigue, anxiety and depression to the next thing.

I eventually learned that the peaks and valleys that I experienced became less intense when I took the time to listen to my body and nurture my soul.

The emotional valleys are put on our paths to allow us time to rest.  When you are at rest, your body, mind and spirit are healing.  When you are allowing yourself time to rest you are expressing love and appreciation for the self.

Now my steps are a little bigger.  The peaks and valleys hardly noticeable. 

And when I look back I can see my tiny footprints that connect me to who I used to be and who I am now.