Saturday, May 19, 2012


Everybody has experienced a time or two (or three thousand) where a situation, comment or action triggers us and sends us into an emotional tailspin.

When suddenly the mole hill we've been dealt becomes Mount Everest and logic goes out the window and we immerse ourselves in the passionate distress of the moment.

I had one of those moments this week.

Immediately, my body felt like it had been kicked in the stomach and I took on feelings of betrayal, entitlement and victimhood.

An ugly combination for sure!

Fortunately, I was aware of why I was feeling this way, the past memory I held onto and the connection it had to this new situation.  I was able to acknowledge it and through the kindness of a listening friend was able to say the words out loud "I feel betrayed.  I feel like just once I would like something for myself.  I feel like I can't trust this person again".  I was able to release the emotion that was stirring inside of me and cried from a place so deep inside of me that I knew that I was getting rid of something that was holding me back.

This is something I've always struggled with.  Being emotionally authentic.  I'm always good with the feel good stuff, but when it comes to what I judge as the 'uglier' emotions I just don't allow myself to be real.  This time though I was able to be real and honest about these feelings.  It's hard to speak out loud some of the things that I did that day.  It's hard to admit sometimes because I would just prefer to be happy and joyful all the time and ignore the moments of rage, disappointment and resentment. 

The great thing is that saying them out loud, letting my emotion come out and honouring all of it, shone a light on the trigger and it almost instantly melted away.

In fact, not only was the trigger gone but over the next couple of days I began to see that by moving through this situation I was able to release something that I had no idea was still lurking around inside of me.

I began to see the gift in the situation instead of stewing about how someone had 'done me wrong'.

Because really at the end of the day, it's never about the person who brings the trigger to your attention.  It's all about you and how you respond and heal yourself.

1 comment:

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