My history buff....

Sometimes I wonder what video games and too many zombie movies does to a brain.

Then I have a conversation with my 16 year old and I get my answer!

On our way home from the city this afternoon he proceeded to tell me how quickly a nuclear war could start and that he has a plan of action to ensure his safety.

He has a detailed plan of how he will survive Armageddon as well.  It's quite a passionate plan!

There are some moments when I wished I had a urine container handy so I could get a sample and have it analysed... 

Then it hits me that the boy plays WAY too much XBOX and doesn't have a firm grip on reality.

It went something like this:

Nate:  And those things right there.  They just tell you that they are water towers.  But really, that's where they keep the nukes.

Me:  They keep the nukes in the water towers?  {as I reach for the kleenex to wipe the tears running down my face from extreme laughter}

Nate:  Yeah.

Me:  Okay.

Nate:  And you know that we're on South Korea's side eh.  So, we make one wrong move and North Korea is going to take us out.  But probably only Windsor because it's bigger than Belle River.  Just saying.

Me:  {can't speak, laughing too hard}

Nate:  Go ahead and laugh Mom.  You don't even know what you are talking about, okay!?!  You don't even know, I took history, I know what's going on!

Me:  You failed History.

Nate:  Well, I heard the part about the nukes because it was the most interesting part, so I didn't fail that part.

Me:  Oh, I wish I had my voice recorder with me.

Nate:  And don't worry I have it all figured out if we there's a zombie attack.  But we need to get our hunting guns from the cottage so we have something for me to shoot them with.

Me:  Aren't they already dead?

Nate:  Yeah, but it slows them down and plus it'd be fun to shoot them.

It kind of just kept going on and on like this until we reached home.  We even touched upon how he doesn't have to plan for college since the world is ending in 2012 anyway.  Okay then.
 
And this is what all you new moms out there have to look forward to.

Charlie Sheen and Me....

So I have become absolutely obsessed with Charlie Sheen interview videos on the online news channels. 

Which doesn't take much since anyone who knows me knows that I'm totally addicted to YouTube already.

I don't watch news on tv, so when I started hearing about all the Charlie Sheen stuff, I had to look into what all the fuss was about... 

At first I was totally concerned for him...  He seemed a little "unbalanced".

Then the more I just listened to what he was saying, I realized.... "Sh**, he's saying what I WANT to say!"

Charlie Sheen is channeling ME!


In one video he says "I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending like I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars. ... You can't process me with a normal brain." 

And I can totally relate to what he is saying!!!

Okay, so I'm not sure I would've been creatively brilliant enough to think up "total bitchin' rock star from Mars" but it's pretty close to what the tiny voice inside of my heart wants to say!

The more I thought about how I felt about this particular statement, the more I thought about the service he is doing for all the people in this world that really would like to shout that kind of stuff from the rooftop but are afraid they'll get put in a straight jacket and sent to the "place for special people".  Or at the very worst have their family think they are conceded ;)

Charlie Sheen is a trailblazer people!  He's lighting the way so that we little guys can wake up tomorrow morning and say to the nearest person listening "I am special.  I am WINNING.  Duh?"  And not have to worry a bit about it because we still won't look as crazy as Charlie!

I feel so liberated! 

Amazing!

I'm writing him a Thank you note right now!

Don't Piss off the Granny with the Potty Mouth!

This is one of those "guess what happened to me today" stories.

I had run into the local Value Village to see if I could find some cheap old frames that could transform my art pieces and make them more hip...

Anyway, I didn't find any frames, but did get my hands on some Cuban maraca's (I only know they are Cuban because they are engraved as such) and a couple of really vibrant colored scarves (maybe I'll use them together?  Maybe not?)

So I proceed to the check out.

It's seniors day.

It's busy as all get out, the line ups are long and I'm contemplating whether or not I REALLY need the maraca's and the scarves when a member of the staff asks me to excuse her as she needs to move a clothes rack through our line.  So I move to the side (in front of the cash register area) and the elderly woman behind me moves back a bit to allow the girl through with her rack.

Before I can get back into line the old lady that was behind me rams her cart up really fast so that I can't get back into line, so I stayed where I was and as I was next in line proceeded to put my items on the counter to pay for them.

I guess this woman thought seniors day meant that on top of the 20% off she should get to cut in line whenever she wants to (and for the record, if she hadn't of rammed her cart up the way she did and been so rude about it I would have gladly given up my space in line to make her happy) because she turned her cart towards me, looked me straight in the eye and called me a "cunt"!

That's right...  You heard it here first people!


Since when do granny's say "cunt".

The woman ahead of me at the checkout turned to me with her eyes all bugged out as if to say "did she really say what I think she just said?" and at that moment I started to giggle....  I couldn't help it, the whole scenerio was priceless!

This made granny even more upset and she stomped her way over to the next cash register to wait in a line that was twice as long as the one she had been in.

I'm guessing this was not her day....

But she certainly made mine!