Last night's emotional explosion allowed me to release a ton of pent up energy, but at the expense of my family, their friends and their carefree Sunday evening plans.
So what comes next?
I went to bed last night in tears hoping for a good nights sleep and a better morning.
This morning the sun is shining, I'm feeling really groggy; emotional explosions tend to make me feel hung over and drowsy the next day and I have my apology all thought out.
The apology part is really important for me. I know I behaved badly (like a 3 year old deciding a temper tantrum might get her the toy she really really wants) and after a nights sleep I can see that my feelings of inappreciation and disrespect were off the mark and my mental/physical exhaustion was what prompted me to feel that way in the first place.
Plus, my imagination had convinced me that the ongoings of my family yesterday were all a conspiracy to drive me off the deep end. Oh that silly imagination!
The truth is I set myself up for this meltdown all week, running here and there, meeting deadlines, filling my mind with moments other than the one I was in, spreading myself too thin with each moment adding to the ticking time bomb that was developing inside of me.
So why apologize to the kids? Won't that make me look weak? Won't that make me look wrong?
Um, no. To both of those.
Apologizing to our kids when we feel remorseful about what's transpired shows them how to do the same in similar circumstances. It shows them that we are humans too and that we're learning as we go and sometimes we do things we have to apologize for. It gives us an opportunity to sit down and talk with our kids about our feelings, to bring about greater understanding of what just happened.
Admitting we made a mistake or that we were wrong brings us closer to our kids. It doesn't give them some invisible power over us, rather it empowers them to take responsibility for their actions when the time comes.
So don't hold back on the apologies when it comes to your kids. Let them see your humanness, let them see that you can make a mistake but that you know how to correct it and make it right again. It might just bring you closer together. Imagine that!
So what comes next?
I went to bed last night in tears hoping for a good nights sleep and a better morning.
This morning the sun is shining, I'm feeling really groggy; emotional explosions tend to make me feel hung over and drowsy the next day and I have my apology all thought out.
The apology part is really important for me. I know I behaved badly (like a 3 year old deciding a temper tantrum might get her the toy she really really wants) and after a nights sleep I can see that my feelings of inappreciation and disrespect were off the mark and my mental/physical exhaustion was what prompted me to feel that way in the first place.
Plus, my imagination had convinced me that the ongoings of my family yesterday were all a conspiracy to drive me off the deep end. Oh that silly imagination!
The truth is I set myself up for this meltdown all week, running here and there, meeting deadlines, filling my mind with moments other than the one I was in, spreading myself too thin with each moment adding to the ticking time bomb that was developing inside of me.
So why apologize to the kids? Won't that make me look weak? Won't that make me look wrong?
Um, no. To both of those.
Apologizing to our kids when we feel remorseful about what's transpired shows them how to do the same in similar circumstances. It shows them that we are humans too and that we're learning as we go and sometimes we do things we have to apologize for. It gives us an opportunity to sit down and talk with our kids about our feelings, to bring about greater understanding of what just happened.
Admitting we made a mistake or that we were wrong brings us closer to our kids. It doesn't give them some invisible power over us, rather it empowers them to take responsibility for their actions when the time comes.
So don't hold back on the apologies when it comes to your kids. Let them see your humanness, let them see that you can make a mistake but that you know how to correct it and make it right again. It might just bring you closer together. Imagine that!
I agree Jenn, but on the other hand sometimes they need to see us "blow up" to realize that we can't always do it all, we do have limits. Once in a while a blow up is a good reality check for them.
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