I hope I didn't throw you off with that last post about 'recipe for change'.
It's getting some mixed reviews. It's not what people expect from me when I write.
Though my journey lately has been really uncomfortable, confusing and frustrating. I've been focused on my exterior instead of my interior. Something I clearly have had to do since that's what I've been doing. You can't change what is.
I realize there are better more harmonious and love filled recipes for change (and I do believe I have shared enough harmonious and love filled options in the past), but sometimes we're not ready for those types of recipes, sometimes we need something a little more spunky to get the job done. The recipe I wrote yesterday was the one I was feeling in that moment and usually I would keep those kinds of raw words to myself. I would sit with them inside of me, let them make me feel crappy and I would write something pretty and frilly once that moment passed by and I was in a different space.
But this isn't true authenticity. By doing that I'm not allowing you to see a side of me that is very real. And as embarrasing as it can be sometimes.... It is what it is....
We all have those peaceful, loving, balanced sides to ourselves and we also have darker, raw, punchy sides as well. And I am no different.
And as much as my raw side tends to only pop up once in a while, it still does.
As a healer and "spiritual" woman I hadn't given myself permission in the past to write EXACTLY what I felt in these moments because I thought it would send the 'wrong' message, it would look 'wrong' to the world.
But this blog is not only for you alone, this blog is for me. It's not a place to impress others with fancy words. (Although it thrills me to get comments and have people read what I've written) It is for me to record my journey and to work through EVERY moment that comes my way in the way that feels appropriate in the moment.
I wrote the recipe for change the way I did because it felt good just to say it! It felt good just to let out those thoughts and feelings without judging it. And if I want to be a role model for other women, then it's important for me to show you how 'real' I am. And how just by saying what you want to say can free you from the prison you've been living in.
This is a lesson in speaking my truth in the moment that I am in. Some of those moments will look a little rough around the edges, but they are real.
And at the end of the day, real is what it's all about....
It's getting some mixed reviews. It's not what people expect from me when I write.
Though my journey lately has been really uncomfortable, confusing and frustrating. I've been focused on my exterior instead of my interior. Something I clearly have had to do since that's what I've been doing. You can't change what is.
I realize there are better more harmonious and love filled recipes for change (and I do believe I have shared enough harmonious and love filled options in the past), but sometimes we're not ready for those types of recipes, sometimes we need something a little more spunky to get the job done. The recipe I wrote yesterday was the one I was feeling in that moment and usually I would keep those kinds of raw words to myself. I would sit with them inside of me, let them make me feel crappy and I would write something pretty and frilly once that moment passed by and I was in a different space.
But this isn't true authenticity. By doing that I'm not allowing you to see a side of me that is very real. And as embarrasing as it can be sometimes.... It is what it is....
We all have those peaceful, loving, balanced sides to ourselves and we also have darker, raw, punchy sides as well. And I am no different.
And as much as my raw side tends to only pop up once in a while, it still does.
As a healer and "spiritual" woman I hadn't given myself permission in the past to write EXACTLY what I felt in these moments because I thought it would send the 'wrong' message, it would look 'wrong' to the world.
But this blog is not only for you alone, this blog is for me. It's not a place to impress others with fancy words. (Although it thrills me to get comments and have people read what I've written) It is for me to record my journey and to work through EVERY moment that comes my way in the way that feels appropriate in the moment.
I wrote the recipe for change the way I did because it felt good just to say it! It felt good just to let out those thoughts and feelings without judging it. And if I want to be a role model for other women, then it's important for me to show you how 'real' I am. And how just by saying what you want to say can free you from the prison you've been living in.
This is a lesson in speaking my truth in the moment that I am in. Some of those moments will look a little rough around the edges, but they are real.
And at the end of the day, real is what it's all about....
Sometimes Jenn I get annoyed with the relentless positivity some people write about. I call it 'promiscuous positivity'. Life isn't all sunshine, roses and Mexican beer.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who knows me will tell you I'm a super positive person however I consider myself a optimistic realist. So many folks write about being authentic and then pretend that life is all ying and no yang (whatever that is).
So cheers my friend, I admire those that speak the truth. A little rant is good for the soul!
Yes!!! Real IS what it's all about. If we can't be real, then who and what CAN we be? :) I love how you're honouring your voice and can't wait to see what's next for you.... ;)
ReplyDeleteI think I've just been picking and choosing when to honour my voice over the years and I'm tired of trying to keep track of where I can and where I feel I can't use my voice :) It's a never ending cycle of learning over here :)
ReplyDeleteThankfully, I have people in my life that are lovingly encouraging me to be real :)