Monday, March 25, 2013

The Trouble With Life

Is that sometimes it's not YOUR life you are living.

Some of our behaviours, fears, worries and beliefs came from someone else.  They were placed inside of our psyche at a certain day and time and we decided to adopt them as our own.  In fact, most of what you believe came from someone else's view of reality.

I was thinking about this as I brushed my teeth this morning.  I remember my dad making a comment when I made the decision to quit my full time job and stay at home with my boys.  Let's just say his idea of stay at home motherhood wasn't favorable despite the fact that my own mother had stayed at home with us practically my entire childhood.

In that moment I was in a space of vulnerability.  I was making a big decision for myself and my family, feeling a little bit of discomfort about it (would it work?  could we survive financially?) and in that same moment I was being offered an opinion about my decision from someone outside of myself who had their own belief system about my decision.  I believe because of my vulnerability I took his statement to heart and created a belief surrounding my decision to be a stay at home mother.  If I had been in a more stable and strong phase of my life I might have dismissed it altogether as something that he needed to deal with himself.  Unfortunately, I was still living my life to please others and so his opinion made a great impact on me.

I decided to spend 14 years feeling undervalued, underappreciated and unproductive to society.

I think we do this to ourselves all of the time.  We ask for someone else's opinion about what we should do with our life situation when we are most unsure and most vulnerable.  What's interesting is that the other person you are asking is most likely being guided by a belief system that they themselves received from another person who had their belief system handed to them by outside sources as well!

Do you see the cycle here?

What I have learned over the past few years is that the only thing required to make a giant leap forward in life is not to accept someone else's idea of what we should do and be; but in those moments when we are feeling the need to go out and ask someone else; to allow ourselves enough quiet time to realize that the only opinion that matters is the one that is in our own heart.  This requires huge amounts of trust in ourselves (something we may have been told we shouldn't do).

The world around us is changing more rapidly than it ever has before.  Our beliefs are being challenged everywhere we turn.  Our security in what we thought we knew about life is slipping away and the 'denial' rug is being pulled out from underneath of us.

It's a good time to breathe and reflect upon what it is we wish to hold onto and what would best serve us if it was released.

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