Monday, April 8, 2013

My Biggest Challenge

Sometimes I think my biggest challenge is accepting Gods love.

This might sound like no challenge at all but in a world where we are bombarded by messages of 'not good enough' or how we need to change ourselves to become attractive and loveable or that we need to set goals in order to achieve something grander than what we are and what we have now; you can see that something as simple as receiving Gods love becomes a little more complicated.

How can I trust that He really loves me despite how broken and flawed I am?

I mean can't He see that I flub my words and I forget what I'm supposed to say almost every time He gives me an opportunity to speak (whether I write it all out first or not)?

Doesn't He know that I hate to cook; that if I had it my way I'd nap every afternoon and pay someone to do my housework if given the chance?  Does God love the lazy me?

Does God love the me that sometimes wants to shout out 'What the  F*ck?' when I'm frustrated?

Does God love the me that sometimes becomes jealous of what another has or upset that someone has broken my heart?

Does God love the me that doesn't know what the hell she is doing here?!

Does He?

I believe He does.  In fact I know He does because for the last few months and especially the last few days God has been whispering His love in my ear, bringing me to tears and embracing me with His love.

And He is doing this, not because something has happened to me but because He knows how badly I want to receive His grace and how badly I fear I don't deserve it.

He's been working tirelessly around the clock to ensure that I reach the point in time when I will trust His love for me, sooner instead of later.  Not because He has to but because He wants to.

And I know the same thing is true for anyone else with this same challenge.

Here is my message for you.  Put down the perfection, step away from the control freak attitude.  Take a deep breath and know that God is standing in your corner before you say a word.  Before you need Him, before you think to ask Him for anything; He is there for you.  His love for you is overflowing. 

If you are seeking Gods love know that Gods love is also seeking you.  I believe it is in the moment that you release the guilt of feeling 'not good enough' that that love flows into your life in a tidal wave of power you have never experienced in your lifetime and you will never experience again.

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