Thursday, April 19, 2012


I have a hangover!

Not the kind of hangover that involved a night full of fun and laughter with friends, delicious drinks and loud music.

Not at all.


This hangover is from feeling ashamed for the past two days.  And while in reality my shame came from some very small, seemingly insignicant events, that I am told by my friends and family has no reflection on who I truly am.  It is still shame.  I still felt it, for whatever reason. 

And shame has a way of doing some damage to the mind/body/spirit when it strikes.  I'm not sure because I've never ACTUALLY been sat on by a sumu wrestler, but I pretty much feel like I have been sat on by one.  In fact, probably the biggest one on the sumu team!

The thing of it is, that logically, in my brain and heart I am completely aware of what has happened to me.  I know that it is an over reaction.  I know that there is no basis for me to feel this shame and still it happened.

It had to happen.

Because everything is in divine and perfect order.  Nothing is out of place and every moment that we experience is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves.

(can you tell I've been trying affirmations to kick this shame in the butt?)

I have learned something through all of this though.  I've learned that it helps to share the emotion being stirred up by the shame.  It helps to be heard.  It helps to have someone say "oh my goodness, I've experienced that too".  It helps to know that feeling ashamed isn't a bad thing, but letting it stop you from living is.

So, here's to living.  With and without shame (hopefully more of the latter though).


1 comment:

  1. I have days like that, sometimes more than days! lol. It makes such a difference when you just accept the way your body has reacted and try to learn from it. It`s not necessarily a bad thing, just a time to relax, do some pampering, love yourself, and just BE.
    You`re awesome!


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