Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Pursuit of Happiness

I'm content.

I don't need anything more than what I have right now in this moment.

Everytime I think about my husband, children and friends I feel full, complete and loved.

If I never do another thing in my life I will be happy.

If I get to sit all day and stare at walls I will be happy.

If I never get to travel, never get to drive a fancy car and never get to live on the water of Georgian Bay I will be happy.

This is where I am right now.

And I have no idea how I got here.

We've been lead to believe that happiness is marked by fireworks and grandiose 'aha' moments.

It's not.

In fact, being in this space is hard to verbalize to others.  Where do I begin with the story of my happiness when I don't know how I came upon it in the first place?

Who can understand that I have goals and dreams, and yet in this moment if none of them came to be that would be just fine? 

I mean, that's not how things go on this planet!  We are supposed to be striving towards something bigger and better than our now moment, not sitting happily sipping tea and watching the wind blow the leaves around the yard.

My friend Heather was asking me this morning what my heart desires. 

My answer was 'nothing'.  It desires nothing.  And at the moment I spoke those words I realized how frightened I am of that statement. 

Nothing is desired.


I mean what do I DO with myself if my heart desires nothing?

Nobody teaches you this stuff.  Everyone teaches how to GET happiness.  How to GET what you want.  Nobody tells you what to do when you have reached a space of happiness that is so amazing you cannot stop yourself from smiling at the piles of laundry and dried bits of egg on the stove top like a crazy lady!

I'll keep you posted.....

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