Tuesday, February 28, 2012

It's okay to change your mind....really.

So these past two weeks have been filled with 'aha' moments, deep emotion and realizations that I had been ignoring and lying to myself about.

Not long ago I announced that I was done with my 'distractions' (aka artwork, intuitive development, healing, etc.) and I was heading full force into my family coaching business.

That decision felt good for about 24 hours.

Then I started to feel like something wasn't right.  Like I had just stepped off my path and was heading in a completely different direction without a map or a compass.

This is where I felt like I was standing at a fork in the road.

I had denounced my natural talents and gifts in exchange for taking on a coaching business that once I got honest with myself realized I didn't truly love.  Well, not the way I love my healing art.

I have been taking life so seriously that I actually thought that putting my art, healing and intuitive development stuff in the closet would make me more focused on what was 'more important'.  Until a coach asked me this question:  What if the things you call 'distractions' are really things that God wants you to pursue as a way to heal others? 

Holy shit!

For me family relationship coaching is more about what I've accomplished in my own family and has brought me deep satisfaction.  It's not about what I can teach other parents.  It's about what I can provide as an example for those who want something different in their own family relationships.  It has nothing to do with coaching other parents.

And do I feel like a fool for announcing stuff that I now have no plans on moving forward with?  Sure.  Who wouldn't.  In the moment that I was so excited and feeling like I had finally made the right decision for me I just had to share it.  That's what I do here.  And my change of heart or better yet 'awakening to the truth' has been excruciating in moments.  What I thought I was, who I thought I needed to be; I'm not.

In fact, I still don't know for sure what I'm doing.  That's the truth!  And I'm sure it will always be the truth.

What I do know about me is I love the feeling of handing over a piece of personal artwork to a client, I love the reaction and feedback I get from those who receive them as gifts.  I love offering my knowledge on positive parenting, intuition and personal development, I love to be a helping hand in someone's healing process. 

I love to do whatever it is I am doing in the moment whether I am showing a youth group how powerful their thoughts are, sitting quietly at my art desk connecting to a clients energy so I can draw something inspirational for them or vacuuming the floor for the third time in a week.

I know there are many people struggling with their purpose on this planet.  There are many who aren't making life changing decisions for fear of looking stupid or of changing their minds one more time. 

I had to get real with myself.  I wasn't happy.  I couldn't answer "what does your perfect day look like" without wincing because I thought my answer had to include one on one coaching so that others would think I knew what I was doing.  LMFAO!

If I'm going to be honest though, had I not done what I did.  Had I not announced my commitment to coaching families I wouldn't be standing here today feeling more alive and free than I've felt in a very very very long time. 

And at the end of the day THAT is what is most important.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I enjoy receiving your respectful comments :)