We all know one of the most important duties of Ruler of the Household Stay at Home Mother is the stocking of the castle cupboards and refrigerator....
This morning even I cringed at the lack of food available for my children's lunches.... Which doesn't happen often let me tell you.... With only one lonely apple left in the fridge it made it difficult even for me to go on my daily morning "there are plenty of healthy foods in the fridge" speech.
So, off I went to the magical supermarket, where, by the way there is absolutely no bliss to be found (and I thought the bingo halls were bad). I don't know about you but I pick the oddest times of the day to do my grocery shopping in the hopes that I will be the only shopper there, but alas, it was not to be today....
Today was one of those 'handle with care' shopping days, you know the ones where your shopping cart is so full that things just start to fall off randomly... As hard as I tried to strategically place items so that they wouldn't fall, they still did!
I felt triumphant as I rounded my last corner, eggs balancing precariously on top of the bread, when I realized I had missed pancake mix and black olives....
Shit Shoot.....
The only two items my children ACTUALLY asked for....
By this point my cart is too heavy to push, so I park it in an out of the way spot and run to get the things I had forgotten.
All set.
Time to find the appropriate cash out line. The shortest one, but not the one with the cashier I had last time attending it. THAT was a treat.
I think it's me.... All cashiers hate me... They see me coming with my $400 cart of groceries and they desperately wish it was their break time.... They do their best to avoid eye contact, but it's no use, I am like a heat seeking missile, I want the hell out of there and I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen.
By the time they are done scanning all of my items they have sweat running down their faces and the look of exhaustion they give me as they hand me my 5 foot long receipt almost makes me feel sorry for them....
Almost...
Because their not the suckers that have to put this stuff away when they get home!
And you know what the darling little Merritt Princes will say to theirRuler Mother???
Go on....take a guess.....
"There's nothing to eat in this house!"
This is the moment that if I were living in the wild as a lion or other ferocious animal, I would eat them.....
This morning even I cringed at the lack of food available for my children's lunches.... Which doesn't happen often let me tell you.... With only one lonely apple left in the fridge it made it difficult even for me to go on my daily morning "there are plenty of healthy foods in the fridge" speech.
So, off I went to the magical supermarket, where, by the way there is absolutely no bliss to be found (and I thought the bingo halls were bad). I don't know about you but I pick the oddest times of the day to do my grocery shopping in the hopes that I will be the only shopper there, but alas, it was not to be today....
Today was one of those 'handle with care' shopping days, you know the ones where your shopping cart is so full that things just start to fall off randomly... As hard as I tried to strategically place items so that they wouldn't fall, they still did!
I felt triumphant as I rounded my last corner, eggs balancing precariously on top of the bread, when I realized I had missed pancake mix and black olives....
The only two items my children ACTUALLY asked for....
By this point my cart is too heavy to push, so I park it in an out of the way spot and run to get the things I had forgotten.
All set.
Time to find the appropriate cash out line. The shortest one, but not the one with the cashier I had last time attending it. THAT was a treat.
I think it's me.... All cashiers hate me... They see me coming with my $400 cart of groceries and they desperately wish it was their break time.... They do their best to avoid eye contact, but it's no use, I am like a heat seeking missile, I want the hell out of there and I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen.
By the time they are done scanning all of my items they have sweat running down their faces and the look of exhaustion they give me as they hand me my 5 foot long receipt almost makes me feel sorry for them....
Almost...
Because their not the suckers that have to put this stuff away when they get home!
And you know what the darling little Merritt Princes will say to their
Go on....take a guess.....
"There's nothing to eat in this house!"
This is the moment that if I were living in the wild as a lion or other ferocious animal, I would eat them.....
I love this, Jenn! Your depiction of your grocery shopping experience and your job as Ruler of the Household is awesome. ;) I love your sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jess!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you like it!
I sure had a good time laughing at myself on the way home :)