I found this quote in my email inbox this morning.
"The idea that men are created free and equal is both true and misleading: men are created different; they lose their social freedom and their individual autonomy in seeking to become like each other."
-- David Riesman
I am really enjoying this quote today. It's a great reminder for me to continue to pursue my journey to become ME and not someone else.
We can get totally wrapped up in what other people are doing and wishing we could be the same way. And in doing so we lose sight of who we are, what our unique abilities and gifts to this world are and what makes us happy.
I can't ever remember a time where I was happy if I was engaged in "I have to be just like her" mode. Whether it was in business, body image, character, parenting styles, etc. The thought of having to be like someone other than myself was stressful.
In order to have happiness and flow in life you have to fully embrace who YOU are.
I think it's great to look at someone or something and gather inspiration from it; but to take steps to make it who you are without taking in if it makes you feel good is dangerous to your mental and emotional well-being.
If you spend all of your time being someone you are not, striving to be your neighbour, colleague or friend, you are denying the world the gift of YOU.
That gift that just keeps on giving in the way that only you can give it.
I see this happen all the time amongst women. Are we so unhappy with ourselves that we wish we could switch places with someone else? How sad is this?
Your happiness is not going to come from wearing a suit if you're a jogging pants kinda girl. And your happiness is not going to come from being the kind of mom that makes all of her own organic baby food if you are happiest having all kinds of free time to play and snuggle with your kids. Your happiness is not going to come in the form of working towards success in a business that doesn't suit your interests just because someone else seems to be successful in it.
Let's face it.... You are YOU and nobody else....
Isn't that fabulous?!
I think it is, because what it means is that you can drop the act. I envision it like that perfume commercial that Charlize Theron is in where she whips off her jewellery and unzips her fancy dress as she's walking towards the camera. 'J'Adore I think is the name of the perfume.
I love this visual because that is what we all need to be doing with those invisible expectations and ideals that we've placed on ourselves so we can become a carbon copy of someone else.
Here's something for you to consider the next time you find yourself trapped in self doubt about who you are and who you want to be. While you are going all googoo over someone else's life, that someone else may be going all googoo over yours!
Tricky stuff this self doubt business......