Thursday, December 9, 2010
I've got a new song!
This week has been filled with them and today was no exception.
There are no coincidences here.
I shared in my last blog about the disconnectedness I have been feeling with regards to expressing my femininity. I've been giving this SO much thought over the last couple of weeks and the more I think about it the more I receive messages from my world about the next steps I need to take.
For example, a couple of days ago a good friend of mine handed me a book she picked up at a store entitled "GROW". It's a great book about connecting to our femininity, what that looks like for each of us as individuals. It is filled with vibrant colors and inspiring stories to help me truly find my true nature, connect with it and live it on the inside and out.
Then today, as I sat sharing stories with another good friend the conversation turned to self love and how we feel about our bodies, how we treat (or mistreat) them. She leaned over and said to me "This is a bit embarassing but I used to wear really tight bathing suits under my clothes to squish and hide my breasts as a young girl." She shared how much she felt like a freak in her own body. In that moment I connected to a memory I had of stuffing my own bra at a very young age because the torment I got from being skinny and flat chested was unbearable. I shared this memory with her, to which we both laughed at ourselves and questioned why it is that as young girls we insist on covering up who we really are?!?! And more importantly WHY do we still do it as adults?
The memory of the pain of growing into a woman hadn't come to mind in quite a long time. This was a Eureka moment for me! That moment of reconnecting to the memory of me being a young girl, teased for something I had no control over really hit home. I have been not trusting my inner self for a very very long time. I have not been feeling good in my own skin for 38 years!
I believe there is no greater tragedy in this lifetime than to live with the idea that you are not good enough, that you are not pretty, tall or slim enough! I've had enough of that life!
It's time to turn on a new song ladies. It's time to turn on the song called "Take this shame and shove it!" and like the quote says "dance like nobody's watching!"