Sunday, August 30, 2009

Choose what's right for you.

In thinking about what my first "topic" post would be for this blog.  I sat back and asked the question "what is the first thing I wished someone would have told me on my journey to self discovery?"
The answer came as "be true to you".
I think that really this is the first stepping stone to any type of growth, be it personal or business.  If you are not being true to your instincts or your wants and desires then things are certainly not going to go "as planned".
As much as it may be the first step, it is also the most complicated in some situations.
There may be programming passed down from our ancestors about how it is selfish to think of ourselves, society certainly doesn't advocate the path less travelled (although things are improving in leaps and bounds lately).
I'm not talking about turning our backs on the world here. I think many of us can relate to being "bullied" by friends and family most of our lives, how often have you felt like someone's doormat?  How many times have you made up your mind to go in one direction then allowed a guilt trip to change your mind?
So how can we overcome the doubts and take our first steps to being true to ourselves?  What can we do to ease into living our lives based on what we want and not the wants of others?
It's been said that we are our own worst critic's.  I don't believe this is true.  Because those critical thoughts aren't coming from within US.  They are programs of society, family & peers.  They are the words and thoughts of our peers that come back to haunt us when the time is right.
Here are a few tips to breaking through and taking the path less travelled:
** Listen to your gut!  This is your instinctual center, it will never fail you or lead you astray.  It is the most trustworthy source of information you will find on this planet. 
Our emotions are our greatest gift really, when we know how to use them. 
In any circumstance, take a deep breath and bring your attention to your stomach and body.  What does it feel like?  Are there butterflies in your stomach?  Do you feel jittery, cold, sweaty?  These are all indications that what you are about to experience is NOT in your best interest.
If you are feeling excited, elated, joyful.  Sure enough you are on track with what will only bring you the best of experiences.
** Make the decision, and STICK to it!  Don't allow anyone to rain on your parade.  When faced with a nay-sayer bring yourself back to the feeling of joy that you felt when the idea came to mind.  Set your sights on your goals and don't look back.
People often think they are giving you the best advice they have to offer, they love you and they don't want you to make a fool of yourself.  They are also fearful and envious.  If you move forward with this experience where does that leave them?
The people in your life may love you with every fiber of their being, but if their advice goes against your good feelings then they are unconsciously speaking from a place of fear.
Love them for their caring ways, appreciate them for speaking up, but follow through with your original plans.
There is a great Chinese saying "Those who say it cannot be done, shall not interrupt the one who is doing it."
**  Be proud of yourself!  Ultimately, the opinions of others are none of our business.  Be proud of your accomplishment whatever it is.  Be proud that you stuck it out and followed your heart, the more you accomplish being true to yourself the easier it becomes
**  Start small.  If you're someone who never says "No", then I suggest start by saying "No" and see where it gets you, even to the smallest thing - maybe your a sucker for listening to the entire telemarketer speech without interupting?  As rude as you may feel doing it, it is the perfect beginning spot. 
Sometimes we think the worst will happen if we decline an offer or disagree with a friend, I'm here to tell you that the sky will not fall in on you.  In fact the person on the receiving end will most likely admire you for being true to yourself.
Sometimes you will feel like you are not doing the right thing by being true to yourself.  But you ARE doing the right thing.  Again these are the programs within our minds that bring us back to a place of guilt.
Guilt has no business in the heart of someone that wants to live to their fullest potential.

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