Friday, August 9, 2013

Don't Forget About Me

I used to think the things that sucked the most about motherhood were the middle of the night puke clean ups; the grocery store temper tantrums or the times the kids decide to pull the fire alarm at Walmart because you are taking too long deciding which pictures of the little darlings you want to hang on your wall for the next hundred years.

I was the kind of mom that would wonder every once in a while; when in hell these kids were going to grow up so I could really start living!

Guess what?

They have grown up.

And it's official. 

THIS is the suckiest part about motherhood.

The part about motherhood where you are called upon to sit at the kitchen table and listen to your oldest son talk about his plans to move out and no matter how much your heart is breaking you smile and tell him how excited you are for his new adventure.

Or the part when you realize that summer break has suddenly become less about how bored they are more about how bored YOU are because no one is around to make day trip plans with.

Or the part where your youngest son drops the bomb and tells you he's just not interested in the family vacation thing anymore and it takes a Starbucks bribe to get him to spend time with you.

Or what about when your family home suddenly becomes a halfway house; only needed for something to eat; a good nights sleep and a hot shower.


Once upon a time I thought this is what I wanted.  Independent children who know what they want and have no problem voicing those desires.

Now I wish I would've raised them to keep their mouths shut and just do what pleases their mother.  Damn.  Hindsight really is 20/20!

So all you moms out there thinking of raising strong independent people.  Stop what you're doing and really think about the consequences.  You may really want them to be independent and to one day go out into the world on their own and totally rock it.  But I'm telling you they'll leave you high and dry!  They won't remember all the times you wiped puke from their mouth at 3am.  They won't remember because they will be so focused on doing what you taught them you will be only a speck in their rearview mirror.

If I could go back ten years and just sit in their presence for an hour I think I'd be happy.  If I could go back and not rush through my daily tasks or feel burdened by all of the motherly jobs I needed to accomplish. 

If I could just go back I would take a moment and whisper 'don't forget about me' in their ears.

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