Monday, July 15, 2013

A Strange Feeling

This week as we spent time at our cottage in Northern Ontario it dawned on me that my hubby and I are entering into that time of our life when we will be vacationing more and more on our own.  With the boys getting older and their priorities focused on making money and spending time with friends we found ourselves begging our youngest to spend his last morsels of childhood with us on vacation this year.

I suppose what lures my hubby and I to the cottage just doesn't turn the kids on anymore (ie. no internet, hydro or cell service).  Add to that the youngest two have taken up long boarding and the bush roads are no place for wheels smaller than what the pickup truck has to offer. 

As I thought about this one morning during the week; I felt my stomach flip.  Where did the time go?  How did this happen?  Will I be able to vacation without any of my kids?

My youngest son was three years old when we purchased our cottage.  I have a picture of the three boys playing on the couch; their toothless smiles stretching from ear to ear.  They used to love playing on the 'beach' (okay it's a boat launch, but there IS sand so technically......); catching tadpoles and making little stone castles for the baby tree frogs.  They used to love to go out fishing though it ended up being a dance off or a fight about who was in they way of who; neither of which was conducive to catching fish.

All of this tripping down memory lane was emotional for me.  Of course.  It was also gratifying to think of all of the memories we've made at our home away from home.  It's easy sometimes to forget the good things when we are staring down major change.  Hubby and I talked about how it felt to be in this phase of our life; what our future might look like and how we could best use the time between now and the boys having families of their own to make our cottage more user friendly for more Merritts down the road. 

It was comforting to have that conversation; to know that something else is coming for us and that we will be okay and even if I have moments of not being okay that I will have someone standing next to me to hold my hand and hug me through those moments.


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