A couple of nights ago I was doing some reflecting and writing in my journal. In a moment of pure self loathing I wrote that I was feeling particularly useless and that my life had no meaning...
The next morning I woke up feeling pretty good. I got Ben out of bed and ran down to the shower to get ready for my jam packed day. As I was heading from the bathroom into the bedroom I stooped down to pet the dog and step over her at the same time and in that moment something in my back snapped and I felt like I was going to pass out.
I immediately sat myself down on the floor in what seemed the only position my body could handle without inducing more pain.
There I was; stuck on the floor, totally naked. Totally useless.
I could hear the Universe laughing as I tried to figure out a way to get up and carry on with my day even though the pain in my lower back had begun to radiate down my legs. Just how was I going to drive myself from client to client? Just how was I going to facilitate the mom and tot breathing session?
In that moment I realized exactly what I had done. I realized the power of my words.
Writing the words 'I feel so useless' was a prayer. In fact, every time we write, say or think anything it is a prayer. It is a request for an experience. In this instance, I had prayed for the experience of being useless. Since I thought I already was, then it seemed appropriate to have the experience of it.
So here I am my back still in pain. I'm sure anyone who has had back pain knows how restricted you are. The things I normally do without thinking; without appreciation for the muscles in my body and how they all have to be strong and work together to make things happen are now things I am having great struggle to accomplish.
And at the same time I have to laugh. I have to love this experience because I called it into being with my prayer.
I must in this moment realize that even as I sit here unable to easily do what it is I want to do I am still very powerful, very much useful because it is my thoughts that create. It is the words that I speak and think and write that are the words that will create my life experience.
My actions are my prayers in motion. Ultimately, though it is my prayers that matter.
What are your prayers? What are your words that you have been speaking lately? Are they something you want to experience?
The next morning I woke up feeling pretty good. I got Ben out of bed and ran down to the shower to get ready for my jam packed day. As I was heading from the bathroom into the bedroom I stooped down to pet the dog and step over her at the same time and in that moment something in my back snapped and I felt like I was going to pass out.
I immediately sat myself down on the floor in what seemed the only position my body could handle without inducing more pain.
There I was; stuck on the floor, totally naked. Totally useless.
I could hear the Universe laughing as I tried to figure out a way to get up and carry on with my day even though the pain in my lower back had begun to radiate down my legs. Just how was I going to drive myself from client to client? Just how was I going to facilitate the mom and tot breathing session?
In that moment I realized exactly what I had done. I realized the power of my words.
Writing the words 'I feel so useless' was a prayer. In fact, every time we write, say or think anything it is a prayer. It is a request for an experience. In this instance, I had prayed for the experience of being useless. Since I thought I already was, then it seemed appropriate to have the experience of it.
So here I am my back still in pain. I'm sure anyone who has had back pain knows how restricted you are. The things I normally do without thinking; without appreciation for the muscles in my body and how they all have to be strong and work together to make things happen are now things I am having great struggle to accomplish.
And at the same time I have to laugh. I have to love this experience because I called it into being with my prayer.
I must in this moment realize that even as I sit here unable to easily do what it is I want to do I am still very powerful, very much useful because it is my thoughts that create. It is the words that I speak and think and write that are the words that will create my life experience.
My actions are my prayers in motion. Ultimately, though it is my prayers that matter.
What are your prayers? What are your words that you have been speaking lately? Are they something you want to experience?
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