Tuesday, July 3, 2012

My Declaration of Independence

I recently opened up my email to find this article waiting for me from the Omega Institute. 

Okay, so usually I just delete these emails without looking at them because I either don't have time to read through it or I can't for the life of me remember signing up to receive them.

But today, this beautifully rainy stay in the house day has afforded me the guilt free pleasure of going through the emails that I would normally delete. 
I have been struggling for almost a year with my business success.  I can't tell you how many times I stressed and sobbed over my success (or lack thereof).  In my mind, my business success was my life success.  Somehow, somewhere in my tiny brain I could not separate the two.  So a slow day (or week or month) of business meant I was a failure at life.

Not that any of that statement is true fact.  It's just what I had convinced myself of.

And for a long time I would talk about how I felt and no one seemed to understand my dilemma.  I couldn't seem to get any clarity on this issue.  I just remember having a feeling inside of me like I just wanted to give it all up, not caring that I have just spent the past five years building a clientele and earning a 'reputation' as a healer.

Honestly, I just couldn't take the stress of the war that was going on between my heart and my head.

Being in 'business' meant struggle (another belief I am working to eradicate), working long hours and never, ever (not even if your hair is on fire) giving up!!!

You know those quotes you see on facebook that say things like:


All I really wanted was to just be me and maybe make a little bit of money to help my husband pay the bills.  That's all!  I had quit good jobs with large companies because of the stress and limitations, and yet here I was creating stress in my own business that I really couldn't escape from.

I had created an impossible box for myself.  Stay in 'business' and be miserable and burnt out OR give my 'business' up and look like a failure in the eyes of my family, peers and worse...myself!

Double ACK!

About two weeks ago I had had enough of the inner conflict.  I flipped my monkey mind the bird and I created my own declaration of independence (though I didn't realize that this is what I had done until I read the article). 

I made a decision to be me.  I made a decision to not give up my business but to give up the stress of constantly pushing myself into places I didn't want to be in the name of business.  I gave myself permission to stop doing all of the things that people say you HAVE to do if you are an entrepreneur.

Because it's not true what they say!  It's not true that success hurts, that success is difficult.  It's NOT TRUE!!!!

I made the decision to do good and be good at the doing.  I made the decision to enjoy my life and if life came in the form of business then I could give myself permission to enjoy that to.

This is my declaration of independence.

And in two weeks I have experienced some amazing things in my life and my business.

Unfortunately, I always had this idea that I would appreciate my gifts when they made me successful (kind of like the idea that I'll use my good china when the Pope comes to visit and I'm not even Catholic!).

I think we do this alot to ourselves.  Wish and work for something thinking we will be happy when we get there only to realize that there are other plateau's that we can reach, ultimately leaving us unhappy all of the time and wanting more and thinking we'll never have it.

In two weeks I have learned that I have all that I need, I may want a little more but there's no rush for it and that success isn't in the amount of money flowing into my pocketbook but in how many people I can inspire and transform with sincerity, truth and love. 

My declaration of independence is currently in my head, but now I know I need it in writing.

And I have a beautifully rainy night to do it.


  1. The Pope! Hahahaa... I absolutely love your humor :)

  2. Jen, I love this...I think we are in simular places. It is quite a journey to travel, clarity and following intuition have been stepping stones to achieve some measure of ease. It is still a work in progress. I remember our meeting fondly, I wish you all the best. By the way, I hope you will paint one of your beautiful paintings for me soon...I will let you know when I am ready. I want it for my office where all the magic happens. (haha)paintings in my office.


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