Saturday, October 15, 2011

Transformation is a sneaky bugger!

If you were to ask me how I got to where I am I wouldn't have an answer for you.

And to be even more honest, there are multiple days when I wish I would've written some of the stuff I've done down, so I could give someone a bit of a heads up.

But I didn't.  And I can't.

And while we're on the honest train, I don't really think that having written it down chronologically would have helped anyone anyway.  Transformation takes time.  And it happens in your own individual time, in your own individual way.

My transformation probably doesn't look like the next guys because it was made just for little old me.

I've tried over the years to rush my transformation.  There have been many times when I could feel something new coming around the bend and wanting it so badly and wishing that it would just hurry up and get here only to have it take FOREVER to arrive!

(don't you just love run on sentences)

I have an aversion to patience and so I am often found rushing my progress in business and personal relationships as well.  Just to end up totally spent with nothing more to give to anyone or anything.

I find lately that those moments of exhaustion are coming more and more quickly.  It used to take months to catch up to me and now it seems like all I need to do is spend a couple of hours giving too much of my energy to rushing something and I BAM I'm on the couch because my body refuses to move forward.

It hit me the other day as I contemplated how hard I have been pushing myself to 'get somewhere' that my path has already been laid for me.  This is a belief I have held for many years (though sometimes the screams of 'should' are louder than my beliefs).  That everything that I have ever experienced up until this point has prepared me for this moment, just as this moment will prepare me for the next (and so on, you get the picture).  So, is it really necessary for me to 'bust my nuts' over something?  Does it really matter whether or not my website is kickass or not?  Does it really matter that I have no idea where I am heading or where I will be in the next month or so? 

No.  None of it matters.

I look at my husband and his career.  He has seemingly effortlessly risen up the ladder of his profession, has earned the respect of his peers and is constantly being asked to take positions with other companies because they would love to have his expertise on their team!  All he has done (and I say 'all' as if it's not important, but it is really important) is be himself and embrace the passion he has for what he does.

So as far as transformation goes, I think it's a go with the flow kind of process.  That if you are resisting then your transformation is going to come along slowly, like walking through a muddy bog.  But if you are open and trust the flow and the pace at which life is handing you opportunities then things are going to come along nicely.  Maybe not as quickly as you would like (if you are allergic to patience like I am), but it will come along none the less, because it has to.  Life is designed to move, shift and change constantly. 

Unless you are chained to a brick wall your whole life you will transform and it will be amazing and one day when someone asks you how you got there you aren't gonna have an answer for them because transformation is sneaky that way :)


  1. Jenn,
    I always love reading your posts - your writing is engaging! Here's my two cents on "chasing transformation". Impossible. Transformation doesn't involve chasing. It involves "being". The moment you sit in the now moment, fully content, you have transformed. People might look at my life - my apt, my bank account, my "lack", and see anything but transformation. Me, I look at it and it say "WOW! TRANSFORMATION!". I'm happy EVERY day. I have no debt. I have no worry. I have comfort. I have love. Sure, I have no car - let me repeat - I have NO WORRY and NO DEBT. Anything I own in the whole world that could break, right NOW, would not cause me a great deal of, if any, stress. All is replaceable today.
    When we chase "success", we are missing the point. Be a human "being", and be less of a human "doing", and you'll find yourself a lot less tired, off your couch and out in nature more, and content.
    But hey, that's just my two cents :)

    Love love!

  2. Jenn to me that's the difference between being a 'warrior' and being a 'seducer'. Warriors want to force things to happen and seducers let them happen in a natural way. Warriors set goals and deadlines while seducers follow passions and follow the fun.

    Another well written article that I enjoyed...thanks!

  3. Thanks for the comments Tracey and Guru! I love your input and receive it with appreciation! Mwuah!


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