Monday, April 25, 2011

Whose walking your path?

I don't know about you, but I get really excited about my spiritual/personal journey. 

I sometimes get so excited that I feel that others need to be on the same journey as I am.

This tends to happen alot with my husband and I.  And recently the Universe reminded me that my husbands personal journey is none of my business!  (you gotta love it when you get those reminders)

It all happened while we were taking part in a 10 day metabolic cleanse with Metagenics.  We were doing fine, eliminating foods from our diet everyday and taking the "prescribed" product to help our bodies eliminate toxins.

Around day 5 my hubby started to get a little grumpy about what he could and couldn't eat (we were down to eating only broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, kale, apples & pears).  Generally he is a meat and potatoes guy with a strong tolerance for his wife's nutritional tricks (which I have to admit once in a while border on obsessions).


We had a brief phone conversation one day about how he was starving because he didn't know what he could and couldn't eat and I reminded him that the instructions were well laid out in the booklet that lay in front of him on the kitchen counter. 

I hung up the phone and felt my body tense up.  How could he not know what to eat?  How hard is it to open the fridge and pull out some veggies and eat them?  Why was he choosing to be so difficult?  Why is this so hard for him to do, it's only 10 days for goodness sake?  ARGH!!!

I no sooner got all bent out of shape when it dawned on me.

He only chose to do this cleanse because I came home with the product for him.  He only chose to do this because he believes in me and my vision for a healthier lifestyle.  He only chose to do this because I was so excited and convinced him it was "the right thing to do" for us.

Hold up! 

For "us"?  Yah, right...  Cause I don't have enough living to do on my own, I have to live his life for him too....

The truth:  I dragged him into this whole cleanse thing because I wanted him to follow along MY path.  I want him to live a healthier lifestyle for ME.

But his path is NOT my path.  Not even close.  I forget this every once in a while because he is so supportive of me, and it's not fair to him when he gets caught in my "best laid plans".

I think in our excitement of all that we are personally learning in our experience, we are eager to put what we have learned onto someone we love, in the hopes that that person will experience greater self awareness.

Think back to a time when someone has put their own expectations of what your personal journey should look like on you.  How did that feel?  Did it feel like you weren't being trusted with your own life?  Did it feel like someone didn't believe in your own talents and abilities?  Did it feel uncomfortable?  Did it feel disrespectful?

I know for me, I can reason away my behaviour in the guise of "but I love them, I want what's best for them".  As much as this is true, sometimes we can show an even greater love to someone by letting them live for themselves, in a way that is comfortable for them.

This isn't always easy to do.  It's getting easier for me to do this with my husband and yet a little more difficult to do with my teenage sons :)  But still, everytime I catch myself putting my standards upon them it gives me another opportunity to readjust and get back on my own path.

Afterall, if I'm walking on someone else's path.  Then who is walking on mine?


  1. that was beautiful and well written!

  2. Thanks Ed! I appreciate your feedback :)

  3. great post Jenn. yes, we tend to forget to focus only on our own path and not so much on others. shelley

  4. GUILTY!! I do this with my teenager all the time... thanks for the reminder :)

  5. I always catch myself stressing out and then realize that I'm stressing out about someone else's business. If I stay in my own then life is more peaceful and less stressful... :)
    Thanks for commenting girls.
    I love you both mucho mucho mucho!!!!

  6. Great advice Jenn. Not always easy to do, but definitely worth remembering whenever we try to change someone else or think they are wrong because they don't think like we do.

  7. There is definitely less stress involved in staying on your own path! :) Thanks for the support Rosemary! <3


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