Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I'm so very sorry.....

When I went to see Neale Donald Walsch speak a couple of months ago he did something that made my heart leap.  He approached a woman in the audience who was ethnically diverse, raised in a Baptist church and whose race had suffered much ridicule within society.

I remember he approached her, held her hand, looked her right in the eyes and apologized for the insensitivity of humanity.  He, on behalf of those who had persecuted her and her race, apologized from the depths of his heart.

It was a beautiful, moving and powerful sight.

Imagine taking on the responsibility of humanity and apologizing.  We don't think of doing this do we?  We are always caught up in whose fault it is and who is responsible for making it right and apologizing.  Mr. Walsch didn't need permission from others to do this.  He didn't seek a reward or prize for his efforts.  No.  He simply offered what was in his heart.  What really I believe is in every one of our hearts if only we could find it underneath the clutter of pain we have built up.

His words and actions were brought to mind this week and particularly this morning as I spoke with a friend about finding the courage to disengage from a relationship that was toxic to her.

We want so much to be accepted and loved by others.  And sometimes when we don't receive that acceptance and love we become angry; sometimes we become driven to prove people wrong in their assumption of us and almost always we seek to find others who will support us in our pain.  In all of this inner activity of the mind we can forget where we ARE accepted and loved in our lives.  We can forget to check in and see where it is that anger is coming from.  In cases like relationships often our anger is based in fear of rejection and abandonment.

Anger seeks to change circumstances, control others so that we get the outcome that would make us feel more comfortable with ourselves.  Acknowledging that there is a fear associated with the anger creates a space for healing and understanding.  It is much easier to forgive from a place of understanding than from a place of control.

I believe it's a beautiful idea to offer love and apologies on behalf of humanity as a whole.  For most of us in our journey through pain it would not matter where the apology or the acceptance came from, just that it did!  And so here I offer just that.  For those of you who have been begging for an apology from someone who is unable to offer it at this time, please accept this as a bridge to take you to the next step in your journey.  Please know that you are loved and valued beyond anything your imagination could come up with. 

"I am so very sorry, from the deepest depths of my being that you have had to endure pain and suffering at the hands of another human being.  I am so sorry that anothers words and behaviours have been hurtful to you and caused you emotional, mental or physical pain.  You are a being created of love, just as all beings are.  One day there will be an opening and pouring out of that love, we will one day understand the reason for all of this pain.  For now I offer you this apology and the love that I send along with it so that it may heal your heart and show you that you are not alone, that you are accepted, you are worthy."

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