Just an Observation

What if for one day you decided to just observe your life.  You know, stand off to the side of everything that is happening and simply watch it like a movie (or the Survivor series).

This thought has been coming up for me a lot lately.

Why not just observe what is happening instead of letting myself get sucked into the emotional drama of the situation?  Why not just let whatever is happening happen without placing a label of 'good' or 'bad' on top of it?

It's like taking the next step in your journey to 'go with the flow'. 

To be able to observe rather than judge takes the pressure and stress out of life.

And it may be easier said than done.  Especially for fellow drama junkies out there, but it is still definitely doable with a little practice and patience.

For instance.  Last week while I was taking some time to meditate I found my mind wandering (as usual) and I would quietly put the random crazy thoughts aside.  I did this over and over and over again until finally (after about an hour!) my mind just fell silent. 

It felt a little like putting cranky babies to sleep and then tip toeing around them so they didn't reawaken :)

Going with the flow and becoming the observer in your life takes the same calm, gentle commitment it does to send your thoughts away during meditation.

Imagine being able to connect with the moment that a simple, neutral situation (they are all simple & neutral by the way) becomes an emotion filled drama fit for the big screen.

This past week I had a couple of those simple, neutral situations come up and my mind wasted no time at all turning them into murder mysteries and high speed chases!  I didn't stop to question the labelling and judging until it was too late, they had already been developed and they were having an effect on my physical and mental well-being.

The truth is this happens to all of us, all the time.  Unless you are a monk sitting atop a mountain in total alonedom (like a kingdom but more alone, you get the picture) you are going to have drama and your mind is going to want to give you something to talk about around the water cooler at work tomorrow.

The trick is just becoming more aware of what this drama does to your body and your life.  Asking yourself "is this worth it?"  "what am I getting out of this drama?" may help you to realize that it's all a ridiculous ploy to create a worthwhile story that you will tell for days and days until something new comes along.

Today, I'm making a commitment to myself to become the observer more often.  I want to reduce the amount of tension my muscles are holding onto.  I want to reduce the amount of time I waste telling and retelling a story that if I think long and hard about it, has no content and expends a whole lot of energy for nothing.

It's time to remind myself that I am the captain of this ship and we'll be having no more of this mindless nonsense.

Feel free to join me.

You get what you need!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news.

But someone's gotta do it!

To those of you who are experiencing so much flux in your life.  Relationships in crisis.  Finances in ruins.  Children running amok, etc. etc. etc.  You've asked for it.

Ouch!

Now, I'm not really that big into 'law of attraction' stuff, I don't believe that just because you have a negative thought something negative is going to come of it.

What I have noticed though, in those who seem to be in chaos and crisis mode right now (and what I've noticed in my own life as well) is that what is coming about right now is an accumulation of negative thoughts, not just last weeks thoughts, but last years and the year before that and the year before that.

Yikes!

I don't know about you but I've thought and said some pretty negative/damaging things over the past years and yes I can see all of that creeping up and showing itself to me now in fits and spurts.  I do understand where they are coming from and thankfully I've learned some tools on how not to let these things bring me back to that negativity.  One of them is staying in the present moment.

I think it's extremely important to recognize where it was we may have asked for what we are currently receiving/experiencing.  I'm kicking myself now for not knowing this before or I'd have been asking for a million dollars all those years ago!  For those of you that had the foresight to do that, I commend and congratulate you on a job well done (can we do lunch?).

Anyway, I have a theory on all of this "past thought haunting" that happens to all of us.  I believe that as we grow and mature and realize our personal responsibility to ourselves, these past thought accumulations come into our lives at beautifully timed intervals to help us hone our responsibility skills even further.  It's not necessarily the Universe sending us 'tests', it's our own thoughts coming back to us.

Here's one:  If your child has been giving you a run for your money since he was 2 and all your thought energy (and what you tell everyone around you) is put into "He's such a handful, he never stops, he's going to be the death of me, etc." then what you are going to experience when that child is 10, 14, 18 is exactly what you have been thinking about him since day one!

Here's another one:  If your marriage (relationship, career) has entered a rocky area and that's all you can think about even when you have surpassed the rocky area and are doing well, and all you do is talk about 'when so & so did this or when so & so did that" a hundred and one years ago, then guess what?  Yep, you guessed it, your marriage (relationship or career) is going to deteriorate little by little until one day it just doesn't exist anymore.

This one reminds me of a guy I knew who worked for one of the big 3 automotive companies years ago.  Nothing this guy ever said about his job, the pay and the company was nice, not one grateful or appreciative comment.  Then one day (as well all know) these companies started laying off their employees because of decline in auto sales.  This guy went berserk!  How dare they lay him off, didn't they know he worked for them for 20 years, didn't they know he was a committed employee, blah blah blah!

I couldn't help but say to him "Isn't this better than working for them?  Aren't they doing you a favour? You seemed miserable working there, nothing they did was right.  What's the problem?"

Needless to say he didn't like me pointing out the obvious.

Here's what we need to remember about life.  Negative attitudes and people bashing don't get us what we want, they get us what we need.  And sometimes what we need is a kick in the ass to get us on the right track.

From my perspective, all of his thoughts and words acted like a prayer "please, please, please get me out of this miserable job that doesn't pay enough, that I hate, that I despise going into every morning"!

And the Universe responded to that prayer.

It wasn't his version of what he wanted (suddenly the crappy pay was better than the alternative which was NO pay).  But it was what he needed.

So my advice to you.  When your faced with a situation like the ones mentioned above (or any of the other gazillion experiences we can have) take a moment to see where you might have asked for what you are experiencing. 

And if you can feel this kind of situation arising (and trust me we can all sense when the shit is about to hit the fan), do something about it.  You still have time to change what happens. You can do this by thinking loving thoughts and praying a new prayer.  Change your attitude, put a smile on, do a happy dance. 

Or accept what happens, learn from it and move on but don't make it part of who you are, don't let it establish another 10 years of unhappy thoughts and unappreciative words... 

Because guess what you can expect then?

A little faith

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.   ~ Mohandas Gandhi

I am a quote-a-holic.

Quotes perk me up the way little blue pills................well......you get the picture.

The above quote is a great reminder for me today. 

I didn't sleep well last night at all.  My dreams were all over the place (as they have been for quite some time now) and I found myself in that crazy place where you are aware that you are dreaming and you want to do something about what you are seeing but you can't because you are really asleep.... 

So all night it felt like I was trying to put out fires, or at least create a change in what was happening only to find that I could make no difference at all.  I woke up feeling helpless and hopeless, insignificant.

And then I found this quote this morning.  Aha!

Last nights crazy dream situation reflects how I've been feeling in my waking hours these days.  I can see relationships ending and circumstances in my life changing (drastically!) and even though this is all familiar territory, I have been worrying about it incessantly!  Trying to find the logical explanation (is there one?) and trying to find a solution that keeps everything fine and dandy.

If I'm being honest with myself, I have no control over any of this, whatsoever!  I didn't put these balls into motion, they just started rolling and here I am on the sidelines watching it happen feeling hopeless, helpless and insignificant.

That's my real problem.  I've expected myself to know what to do and to fix it.  I've had no faith in the flow of life and I'm exhausted from trying to keep up!  There's a picture.  I'm trying to keep up with God's plans for me instead of allowing that energy to lift me up to the place I need to be.  It inevitably always does!

Last night I went to bed looking forward to the sun rising.  And now I know why.  Somewhere in my being I knew that clarity would come by sunrise.  And it did.

Today I have the opportunity to let go.  Now that I can see where it is I was resisting, I can loosen my grasp and relax a little knowing that in the end all I need is a little faith.








 

Top Secret Information Revealed!

How many people do you know think that happiness, success and a life full of bliss are out of their reach and control?

How many of these people believe that the ingredient to having all of these things is top secret and is only revealed to those worthy of the information?

Are you one of these people?

While life has us running around like mice in a science experiment, we are missing the fact that the top secret ingredient we all need to make life much more pleasant is simple and it's right beneath our noses!

While I was on vacation this summer I found my mind wandering on the usual things...  What am I doing here?  What do I want to accomplish with my personal life, my business life?  Who do I think I am?  How can I get more more more! 

I feel out of breath just thinking about these things!

As these thoughts flowed, a message kept popping in...  Well, it was more like a word.

Kindness.

Kindness.  What am I doing here?  Being kind.  What do I want to accomplish?  Be kind.  Who do I think I am?  Kind.  How can I get more?  Be kind.

When I began to answer all the 'pressing' questions that came to my mind with the variations of the word 'kind' I began to see how simple it all is.

Kindness leads to love.  Automatically.  No strings attached, no hard work, no mind numbing palms sweating dedication.  Just a simple act of kindness can pull everyone around you out of a pit of despair.

This is typical 'self help' stuff.  And if you're like me you read 'self help' stuff about kindness and love and peacefulness and you think big (aka the little stuff doesn't matter or you have to be a monk living on the mountain to achieve it), how can I make a 'big' difference?  Then, rather quickly I might add that energy fizzles because either I feel 'too small' or 'too poor' or 'too' something or other and my thoughts of big die just as quickly as they were born.

But kindness is the stuff dreams are made of!  Kindness comes in a beautifully wrapped trinket box, no bigger than your hand (easy to travel with and even easier to give).  And the minute the bow is removed from the lid....

SHAZAM!

Kindness explodes and sparkles of light touch everyone around you!  Kindness turns a miserable day into a bright one.  Kindness can pull someone from the brink of ending their life.  Kindness can give someone the strength they need to take one more step towards freedom!  Kindness can do anything you want it to do.

Don't kid yourself that, that smile you give to the girl that makes your coffee every morning doesn't affect change.  It does!

Don't negate that you holding the door for an elderly person doesn't give them hope.  You may be the only person that has even acknowledged their existence that day!

Don't poo poo a listening ear or a card of appreciation sent in the mail.

All of these things can change a life!  And it will change your life too!

The Summer of Change

Oh my goodness...  First day back to school for the kids...

My mind is flooded with the possibilities for this day, this total silence mom has control of both computers and can play any kind of music she wants day.....

It is certainly a day of bitter sweet celebration.

Where did the summer go?

Yesterday was emotional for my youngest son.  He was in tears over the fact that summer slipped through his fingers and he didn't do anything worthwhile to speak of.

Unless you count the gazillion mechanical robots and cars he created with his lego.  Or the countless NERF gun wars he had with his brothers.  Or the bike rides to the beach, the trip to the cottage and the visits with family and friends.

I have to admit as summer break came to a close I had these same thoughts in my head.  It happens every year really, the urge to make a mad dash to get it all in before the last day falls upon us.

If I look back I can see that the summer was jam packed already.  Maybe not with as many spectacular activities that my son would have preferred, for me it was filled with personal connections and growth.  I learned alot about myself this summer and as I look around at the people in my circle of influence I can see that tremendous changed happened for all of us. 

One friend connected with her truth, another had her second child.  One friend connected with her divine skills as a medium and has been helping people who have been struggling with their grief.  Another friend let go of her feelings that she was unloveable and still another connected with her true passion in business!  And those are just a few mentions!

It definitely was the summer of change and personal growth.

How did it change you?

What comes next....

Last night's emotional explosion allowed me to release a ton of pent up energy, but at the expense of my family, their friends and their carefree Sunday evening plans.

So what comes next?

I went to bed last night in tears hoping for a good nights sleep and a better morning.

This morning the sun is shining, I'm feeling really groggy; emotional explosions tend to make me feel hung over and drowsy the next day and I have my apology all thought out.

The apology part is really important for me.  I know I behaved badly (like a 3 year old deciding a temper tantrum might get her the toy she really really wants) and after a nights sleep I can see that my feelings of inappreciation and disrespect were off the mark and my mental/physical exhaustion was what prompted me to feel that way in the first place.

Plus, my imagination had convinced me that the ongoings of my family yesterday were all a conspiracy to drive me off the deep end.  Oh that silly imagination!

The truth is I set myself up for this meltdown all week, running here and there, meeting deadlines, filling my mind with moments other than the one I was in, spreading myself too thin with each moment adding to the ticking time bomb that was developing inside of me.

So why apologize to the kids?  Won't that make me look weak?  Won't that make me look wrong?

Um, no.  To both of those.

Apologizing to our kids when we feel remorseful about what's transpired shows them how to do the same in similar circumstances.  It shows them that we are humans too and that we're learning as we go and sometimes we do things we have to apologize for.  It gives us an opportunity to sit down and talk with our kids about our feelings, to bring about greater understanding of what just happened.

Admitting we made a mistake or that we were wrong brings us closer to our kids.  It doesn't give them some invisible power over us, rather it empowers them to take responsibility for their actions when the time comes.

So don't hold back on the apologies when it comes to your kids.  Let them see your humanness, let them see that you can make a mistake but that you know how to correct it and make it right again.  It might just bring you closer together.  Imagine that!

The Practice of Acceptance

What if you were to accept every single thing that has happened or is happening in your life right now?

By accepting I mean looking at any given situation and understanding that it is happening, or that it has already happened and leave it at that.  No judgement, no trying to control or manipulate the outcome.  Simply allowing that situation to be just as it is.

Does this sound like giving up to you?  Does this sound like being cowardly?  Does it sound like laziness?

It might to some.

To me it sounds like a stress free, peaceful way of going about life.

Take a moment to think of the one thing that is happening in your life right now that is occupying space in your mind and heart, dominates your thoughts and has you awake at night.

What have you done thus far to deal with this situation? 

Is that working?

I'm going to guess that it hasn't. 

What I have noticed in the past when I have tried to control or manipulate the outcome of a situation is that the situation got worse, it got more intense and was prolonged.  It is in these moments that I need to remind myself that 'what we resist, persists'.

The opposite of resistance is acceptance.

We stumble on acceptance because we haven't practiced using it a whole lot.  Life & society tells us to work hard towards a solution, fight to the death so to speak (some people take this one literally).

By accepting something you aren't giving up.  You aren't condoning bad behaviour.  You don't have to like what is happening.  By accepting something you are saying 'I choose a life free from stress over a life full of tension and anxiety'.

Accepting what is does not mean we relieve ourselves of responsibility.  You don't rack up thousands of dollars worth of debt and then say "oh well, I guess I just have to accept it" and not make any motions towards paying that debt back.  What you can do is choose not to worry about said debt, it's already happened, it's already there, that's the reality of the situation and then you take responsibility for it.

Debt doesn't go away if you stick your head in the sand and misbehaving children don't develop a better attitude if mom or dad constantly have their battle gear on.

When I think of acceptance I instantly get a visualization of a door opening.  In the moment when acceptance occurs, a weight is lifted, our breathing gets deeper we feel more relaxed, it is in that moment when opportunities come that will be tailored to your getting the situation resolved.

Have you ever tried to reason with a screaming child?  This is what non-acceptance is like, it's like talking to a brick wall and expecting wisdom in return.  It gets you no where.

It's easy to confuse yourself though and say that you are accepting when behind the scenes you are still working at undermining others, manipulating outcomes and judging situations.  You'll know your acceptance level hasn't hit the mark if you are experiencing the same resistance.

Practice makes perfect though so don't give up.  Keep accepting, even the smallest moments of acceptance can create huge opportunity and change.

 

 

If you want something you've never had....

Do something you've never done....

This is one of my all time favourite quotes!  I was reminded of it this afternoon while speaking with a client.

We are all striving towards healthier relationships.  We all just want to be happy and accepted.  We all just want to be loved and appreciated.  Am I right?

So what if your relationships don't look like that?  Maybe some do, but some don't.  Maybe all of them are pretty equal but could use a little boost.

Well then, you might want to try something you've never done before.

Years ago I heard a woman speak about relationships and about affecting change through what she called "energy bank accounts".

The idea was to fill other people's energy bank accounts with positivity and love instead of anger, jealousy, etc.

A simple yet powerful idea that many of us don't even know we are doing each day.

How many of us become miserable when we are around a chronic complainer?  How many of us become enthusiastic about life when we spend time with an optimistic person with a positive, bright outlook on life?  This is energy at work.  The energy we put out makes a huge difference on the people in our lives!

It was during the time that I heard this speech that I was experiencing lots of negativity in my marriage.  My husband wasn't happy with his work and found it difficult to turn the work stuff off once he was home.  After a while it became so that we just weren't that excited to see him at the end of the day, it was affecting our relationship and his relationship with our children.  I had to do something and I remembered the energy bank account.

I decided then that I would spend 5-10 minutes everyday thinking about my husband in a loving, encouraging and appreciative way.  This was at times very difficult as things were not good in our home at the time and there was little I felt I could appreciate about his presence in my life.  But still I would spend that time each day.

I noticed immediately that his attitude was more positive, upbeat and welcoming on the days I had spent that 5-10 minutes thinking of him in a positive light.  On the days that I forgot it was a totally different story.

I also noticed my attitude becoming more positive and loving towards him.  Even on the days he was cranky!

What I was doing was filling his energy bank account with positive energy and it was counterbalancing the negative energy he was receiving at work.

When we walk around all day with our energy bank accounts overflowing with negativity it is easy to attract chaos, turmoil and undesirable life circumstances.

When our energy bank accounts are filled with positive energy we are more likely to remain balanced and react to situations more peacefully.

What I believe happens is that as you are fillling someone else's energy account, you are also filling your own.  The more positive that goes in the more the negative is filtered out and the better you will feel.

Sometimes we complain to our friends about our kids, spouses, coworkers and employers without thinking about it, but this energy is being sent directly into that persons energy account to be used by them at the perfect moment.

Think of the worst day you've ever had.  Now picture yourself making energy withdrawals on that day, if you were already having a bad day and you had lots of negative deposits in your account, your energy would draw on that negativity because it would be a vibrational match to how you are feeling.  Now if you had been filling that account with positive energy you may have started your day on the wrong foot, but would quickly be able to balance it out and bring about the positive to make it much better because your bank account would have positive energy to draw upon.

Try it for yourself and see what kind of positive changes you can affect.

KISS

Keep It Simple Stupid!

As of 7pm last night this is my new mantra.

You might have read my previous post about losing my mind over lack of dinner ideas.

Just after I posted that blog, my son walked into the kitchen and said to me "I really would like spaghetti tonight Mom".  Okay then.  Problem solved.

I do this to myself WAY too often.  I (for reasons God only knows about) love to make things more complicated than they ever need to be.

From relationships to attending events to what to make for dinner it has become much too easy to jump off the serenity bridge and into the pit of hellish fire known as self inflicted stress.

For instance, this past weekend I had the option to attend a family function.  Instead of just asking myself what I wanted to do about whether to attend or not, my mind instantly ran off towards the 'should' department of life and started throwing out all sorts of reasons why I should attend because it would be nice of me to do so, or it would benefit my kids, or it would make other people happy/content. 

I analyzed the situation until it looked like a piece of roadkill that had been hit 100 times and finally concluded that I simply did not want to go.  That's it.  I did not WANT to go.  No reason why, no floundering for an excuse that would be acceptable to others. 

Why must we make everything more complicated than it has to be (or even more so than it sometimes already is)?  It certainly doesn't feel good to the body to do this.  It doesn't help you sleep at night or help you to wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed.  So what is the real point?

Do you know that we would all have WAY more free time on our hands if we weren't so busy building mountains out of mole hills.

Imagine what you could do with all of that free time?  You could maybe paint your toenails, take in a movie or I don't know....ENJOY your LIFE!!!!

My point is that anything more than simple just isn't worth the energy.

Trust me, our body mind and spirit are screaming for a little more simple!

But don't take my word for it.  Try out the KISS approach for a week and see what happens. 

You really don't have anything to lose!

You are the Captain of your Relation-Ship!

I picked up a book off my bookshelf the other day called "Complaint Free Relationships" written by Will Bowen.

I purchased this book over a year ago and hadn't even opened it!

This weekend was a 'soul searching' weekend.  Nothing I had planned, it just sort of happened.

Anyway, I love how when you are ready to conquer a belief system, the tools and ideals magically appear in front of you. 

This book is one of those tools.

The book speaks about the state of our relationships with ourselves and others are based on perceptions in the mind.

This information isn't new to me, and at the same time it is!

Think about that person that you work with that you absolutely cannot stand.  Think about your thoughts while on your way to work.  What are they saying about this loathesome being?  I'm pretty sure they are not good thoughts.

If you are having nasty thoughts about this co-worker, then it shouldn't be a surprise to you when he/she behaves exactly as you expect them to behave.  Energetically, they are living up to your expectations.

Whoa!

Did you feel that shift?!?  I certainly did!

I spent some time yesterday releasing all sorts of people and the perceptions that I had held about them.

Often times we feel victimized.  We feel we've been done wrong at some point by the people in our lives.  We sit with that wrong doing and we review it daily, adding bits and pieces of things to the story that make it sound 'better'.  We do this for days, months and years.  The mind is loving this!

What we forget in the midst of all of this victimization behaviour is that we have all the power inside of us to change this situation.  It's a matter of making a choice.

Last night as I sat in meditation, my heart was filled with so much love and compassion for the people in my life whom I've filled my relation-ship with negative photos of.  I began to see myself taking down those photos & perceptions of them and revealed all sorts of wonderful memories and pictures that were hidden by the yucky ones I had placed on top of them.  What a relief I felt as I drifted off to sleep, knowing that those pictures were gone, that I had made a choice to make a change.

I have been holding onto some ugly, ugly perceptions of people.  Something I'm deciding to let go of.

All those perceptions do is make me feel sad, alone, frustrated and angry, which leads to behaviour I normally would not entertain!

This simple meditation has filled me with so much forgiveness.  Because in reality there is nothing to forgive, it was all made up in my mind!

The people involved in our victimization stories haven't done anything 'wrong'.  They haven't done anything TO us. 

We've done it to ourselves!

I'm a junkie...

I've kept it a secret for too long.

Been in the closet with the door locked, sitting in the dark wondering if I'd ever get the nerve to admit my addiction.

Today's the day.

I woke up this morning and realized I can't live with this lie any longer.

Here goes.

I am addicted to acceptance.

Whew.

I feel lighter already.

The problem with being addicted to acceptance is that the need is never really met.  The craving is so intense that you will do anything to get it!  The side affect of this addiction of course is that even the smallest amounts of outward acceptance cannot tame the need!  The more you receive acceptance from others the more you feel starved of it!

A never ending cycle.

Or is it?

Admitting this addiction has been a very big part of my personal growth process lately.  I've been watching myself in certain situations and noticing my reactions and feelings in moments of someone expressing their acceptance of me.

It feels good still, but it doesn't have the same hold on me that it used to.  What used to make me feel warm and fuzzy for days, quickly loses it's sparkly happiness and sends me into a place of questioning "If that person can so easily accept me, why can't I?"

This is where the junkie in me can step even further into the stronghold of the addiction or I can recognize that I'm no longer in need of outward acceptance and move forward.

I realize that what I truly want is the permanent high of self acceptance.  It's what I've been looking for all of this time, I was just going about it the 'wrong' way.  Or is that the 'right' way since eventually I got it!

What addiction have you been hiding?  How is it keeping you from moving forward? 

Benefits to Humanity

This week I got to meet a 16 year old boy who has autism.

His parents brought him to State of Being for a Reiki session;  they had been all around the world seeking healers to heal him of his 'issue'.

His parents were evaluating my skills as a healer to see if I could help their son.

He took his Reiki through his Mother as a surrogate.  He didn't let me touch him.  He didn't want to be here.

His energy was saying "leave me alone" throughout the entire session.

Leave me alone.

He had endured different healers poking and prodding at him for years.  Endured his parents seeking out people who might be able to 'fix' him.

Granted his parents love him very much.  He doesn't see it like that, he sees it as not being accepted for who he is.

I could see the gift that this beautiful boy had brought to the world.  I could see the joy and love in his sisters faces as they watched him move around the room and touch everything in sight.  I could see the pain and exhaustion in his parents eyes.

The boy doesn't know he has a challenge.  He thinks he is just fine.  It's the perception of the parents that says he has something wrong with him.

This boy and his family touched me, because it made me realize how much I had been denying my own imperfections.

I have been the one in my own life who has been searching out 'cures' for what I see as challenges, deficiencies and defects.

I began to wonder this week what would happen if I just embraced all of that, accepted it and moved on.

I had told the parents of this boy that their son was a gift to them, brought here with a purpose to serve humanity by way of teaching patience and tolerance.  Both of which this world needs a whole lot of.  When you begin to see your son as perfect and as a blessing that is when you will see changes.  The changes won't be his, he will be the same.  The changes will be yours.  Your perception will have changed and that can change everything.

I thought long and hard about this message once my clients had left.

I realized that this message is for all of us.

For each one of us, our challenges, quirks and special personalities are serving a purpose to humanity. 

It's up to us to change our perception of each of these and accept them so that humanity can finally benefit.

A word about Reiki....

Tomorrow I am teaching a Reiki class.

For anyone that doesn't know what Reiki is, you can go here to find out more.

For those of you who do know what Reiki is and aren't sure it's something you would be able to do.

Follow me.....

First of all, Reiki is not about building a business, or opening your home to strangers so that they can receive healing.

Reiki isn't about approaching every person with an ache or pain, whether friend or stranger and offering them healing.

Although, there are many practitioners that do choose to do this.  It is not what Reiki is about.

Reiki is not about having to change your entire life.  It's not about having to dress differently or change your eating habits.  Although, if you feel moved to do any of these things after you have received training, feel free to do so.

Reiki is not about acting differently, and it certainly isn't a religion, cult or lifestyle.

So many people get caught up in the illusion of what it means to be a healer.  They view healers to be people who meditate all day long, in long robes with exotic jewellery adorning their bodies.  They view healers to be unique and special, something they couldn't possibly ever be.

I can't tell you how many times someone has come to my door for the first time and expressed that I was NOT what they were expecting...  I take this as a compliment!

Everyone is a healer.  And if you've lost track of that ability, you can be re-connected (taught) how to awaken it again.

Reiki IS a tool.

How you use that tool is your choice.

You may use it solely for yourself, maybe you feel you need more balance and a sense of purpose in your life.

Maybe you'll use it on your kids when they have an ailment.  Or on your pet when they experience a trauma.

Maybe you'll share it with your friends.  Maybe you'll find you are guided to kick some old habits.

Or maybe you won't.

The point is, that Reiki is about YOU and only you.  Reiki is about learning something new and seeing where it takes you.  Reiki is about experiencing something unique.  Reiki is about self love, self nurturing and self care.

Sure, you can go on to learn how to teach Reiki to others.  You don't have to.

In fact, you never, ever have to use Reiki for anything other than your own needs.  And in doing that, you will be creating change in the world.  You will be sending loving energy out to the people in your life.

Because Reiki cannot be contained.  It does not just flow to you, it flows to everyone.

You will simply be the window that opens to it.

"But you're...a....Panda!"

Raise your hand if you've seen the movie "Kung Fu Panda"...

I got to watch it again for the gazillionth time last night...  I never tire of hearing Jack Black's voice, let alone watch that Panda realize that he is the greatest Kung Fu Master alive simply because he wanted to be!

I have a lot of favourite moments in this movie.  So many that my 11 year old son turned and said to me "Mom, why don't you just say you love the WHOLE movie!"

Where would the fun be in that?!?!?

Kung Fu Panda has a great message for us.  That each of us IS the special ingredient in life!

That there isn't anything we cannot do if we simply own up to the fact that we are brilliant, capable and powerful beings!

We can get easily sucked into the "I need to be more educated, smarter, skinnier, prettier, more muscular, etc. etc." crap!

We can easily look around at everyone else and reason as to why THEY are more deserving than we are.

Sometimes we even get stuck in our fear of actually doing something that may get us recognized.

Many of us are afraid that we might even be a Kung Fu Master ourselves!  lol   You know what I mean!


Po (that's the panda) experiences this too, when faced with the realization that he will have to face his greatest fear.  He doesn't believe in himself, thinks that the force he will fight against will be stronger and more able than he is to win the battle.  Until the one instant that he realizes that there isn't anything outside of him that makes him special!  No secret ingredient, no additional education, no more years tackling his fears.  Everything he needs to be a Kung Fu Master is already inside of him.  It's in his uniqueness, his crazy ways and his ability to keep going!

All any of us really needs is one of those moments of fearlessness!

One moment of wondering what would happen if we really just took that next step.

And then the beautiful moment of standing up, being ourselves and doing what WE do best.

And kicking the ass off that fear!

KADOOSH!

Promises kept

This morning I woke up with promises on my mind. 

Today was the day I had promised to make changes to my routine in order to fit in some much needed exercise time for myself. 

The promise:  Exercise every morning to a dvd while the boys are busy getting themselves ready for school, then head out for an hour long walk once they have left on the bus.

I popped in the dvd and set up my yoga mat to get ready for the 25 minutes of heavy duty workout that the dvd case promises.

After 8 months of not working out at all, I have to say it was a tough 25 minutes...  The boys loved it though and took a ton of pictures of me on my stability ball, of which I deleted the minute they were out the door :) 

Then it came time to go out for my walk (as promised). 

All I can say is that it was cold enough to freeze the snot in your nose as your breathed...  'nough said?!?

My "promise" theme continued throughout my walk, when I kept hearing a message play over and over again in my mind.

"The only promises worth keeping are the ones you make to yourself."

Of course my mind debated this as a selfish practice.  However the more I debated the stronger the message got and I realized that the message is a reminder that if you can't keep a promise to yourself, then how can you keep a promise to someone else.

Usually it's the promises we make to ourselves that are the hardest of all to keep, it seems easier to find something else to do that is more appropriate or is more helpful to someone else.

I'm glad I kept my promise to myself today.  I'm glad I didn't postpone my plan for the sake of housework (which is what usually happens). 

Here's hoping that it's just a little bit easier to keep tomorrow.

Good Enough

When was the last time you felt "not good enough"?

I'll go first....

2:00 this afternoon.

Thankfully, I've grown to recognize these moments for what they are.....total bullshit! 
It did leave me wondering though how many people aren't feeling like they are "good enough" these days.

How about the new mom that can't seem to get her baby to stop crying.  The dad that's been laid off from his job due to cutbacks.  The parents learning how to deal with teenage drama.  Or the woman who envies how beautifully the girl next to her can hold a yoga pose?

If we allow ourselves, we can be overcome by feelings of "not good enough" because everything around us suggests that we need to be doing more to be getting more.

The truth is that you are more than enough in every way right now.  I know this because each of us is exactly where we need to be right NOW.  If we weren't, we'd be somewhere else doing something else.

The need to recognize our unique characteristics and abilities is extremely important to developing a sense of well-being and balance in our lives, as well as overcoming these "ego" challenges that pop up once in a while. 

How do you do that?  How do you go about knowing who you are, what would really make you happy?

It can be really simple, or you can make it as difficult as you like.  Depends on how you like to do things.

I'm a simple kind of girl.  For me, it's just about being aware of my emotions when I'm dealing with each moment.   And to do that it takes some quiet time, lots of deep breathing and lots of talking to myself.

Just like today at 2:00 when I got a twinge of that "not good enough" stuff coming up.  I took a moment, took a deep breath and looked at my reality. 

The reality is I'm doing great just the way I am!  I don't NEED anything more to make me happy or to make me feel more productive or fulfilled....  WHEW!

Then I asked myself "do you really want to learn more to do more OR do you really want to have more time with the people in your life to affect change now with what you have?" 

That's an easy one....  I pick door #2.

The other thing is to recognize why you want to do more.  Are you doing it because it would please the status quo if you did?  Maybe get hubby off your back about the finances?  Maybe prove to your unapproving family member that you are worth something?  If you are going to take part in something just to please someone or something outside of yourself you need to rethink your strategy!

I've found that it's the simple things in life that make it all worth it.  When I steer myself in the direction of "complicated", that's when I find things get a little stressful and I get stuck more often.

"Complicated" doesn't always equal "good enough".

Expectations and all that Jazz....

Expectation: belief about (or mental picture of) the future •anticipation: anticipating with confidence of fulfillment •the feeling that something is about to happen


Expectations...  They are tricky little suckers...

I've come to regard expectations as just a smidge evil.  They turn good people into buckets of stress!

Why?

Because we can't control someone else's behaviour and actions.  So expecting something from someone outside of ourselves is almost always a lose/lose situation...

Have you noticed what happens when the things you have been expecting, don't come through?

It throws you off balance and turns you into a miserable sour puss for the rest of the day....  Maybe you'll use that as an excuse to make everyone else around you pay for your misfortune, or maybe you'll sulk?

Expectations can ruin your plans for the loving life you wish to live.

I know the argument will arise that the Universal Law of Attraction says that we need to be in a state of expectation when it comes to our dreams.  I gotta tell you; I experience a higher rate of positive manifestation when I don't put my full energy into the expectation part! 

The key to this law is to feel the appreciation and the love of the expectation, not just in the expectation itself.

The kind of expectation I am addressing is the kind that takes a loving man, woman or child and turns them into a blood thirsty lunatic when they aren't getting their own way....  Sound familiar?!?!

I've heard the argument "respect and love should be expected from our children, family, friends and spouses" or "without expectations there isn't anything for anyone to work towards".

What about when your expectations totally take over your life.  You expect this from one person, this from another and something else from someone else.  Your life is full of expectations of others.

Are you living a life where you are expecting everything from everyone outside of you?  Do you find yourself in a state of consistent disappointment and unhappiness?  Are you unwilling to carry out the exact expectations you are putting on someone else? 

If you answered yes to these questions.  Let me ask you:  How is this working for you?

I'm guessing that it isn't....

The good news is that this is really easy to change.

The next time you have the opportunity to expect something from someone (and there is ALWAYS another opportunity).  Take a moment and re-evaluate the situation.  Ask yourself if there is a benefit to this expectation or will it leave you feeling unloved, unworthy and unappreciated if the other person doesn't follow through? 

Relax your expectations a little.  Relax them until you feel happiness and relaxation instead of stress and frustration.  Until your relationships blossom and feel good to you.  Until you receive something you didn't expect.

What you may find is that the less pressure you put on the people in your life, the more room there is for harmony in your relationships, and the less room there is for stress and frustration!

Besides, the only person we can really expect anything from; is ourselves.  And even that's a challenge some days....

Don't believe everything your mind tells you...

When I was a young girl, I remember being able to stay up late to watch a movie, all the lights were off in the house and as I sat watching television something under a cabinet caught my eye and I stared at it from my position on the couch. The longer I looked at it, the more it looked like a glowing eye. The more I thought about it being a glowing eye, the more I convinced myself that there was a snake with a glowing eye under the cabinet. I was frozen in my spot. I wanted to run up to my room, I wanted to turn my attention back to the movie, yet I couldn’t. My mind was beginning to create a story about a snake in my house, that had a glowing eye, that if I moved out of my spot it would spring towards me and bite me. I was terrified.


In the morning I went back to the cabinet, got down on my hands and knees and discovered that the very thing that I was terrified of was in fact a piece of foil from a candy.

Not much has changed in my mind over the years.

Countless times on road trips my mind would turn uprooted tree trunks into bears or moose. Reflectors on the side of the road into glowing eyes in the night.

I spend lots of time unravelling the stories in my mind, desolving them into nothing more than an overactive imagination and the ego‘s need for attention.

The stories in our mind can paralyze us if we aren’t aware of what is happening.

Our minds are powerful tools of creation. We’ve all heard the term “what you think about you bring about”.

This statement is absolutely true.

Our minds can create stories of triumph or of tragedy, of courage or victimization.

How many times have we had a non sense thought about ourselves, an event or a relationship, allowed that thought to trigger a wound in our emotional body and then further allowed it to go about having a life of it’s own all the while we suffer through it.

The suffering can stop if you wish it to stop.

And all that needs to happen for the suffering to stop is to become aware that what you are reacting to isn’t the truth. It isn’t reality. What you are reacting to is a fabrication of the mind. A thought that has been allowed to run rampant. A fish tale if you will.

Invite yourself into your mind. Dismantle the story that is being played over and over again in your mind. Take a really good look at whether that story you are playing in your head is making you feel better or worse about yourself. Is it bringing you peace or pain? Is it assisting or hindering your forward movement in life?

When I question my thoughts and stories, they magically transform. They sometimes become nothing, they lose their “power” over me. And sometimes taking a closer look at these thoughts helps me to gain more awareness about my world, about how I process information and how I unnecessarily react to situations.

It’s absolutely marvellous!

Just not myself.....

"It's okay to not feel like yourself."

This is what the voice inside my head keeps telling me these days.

As I sleep and sleep and sleep. 

And still when I am awake and walking and talking.  I feel like I am still asleep.  I feel like there are no organs inside of me.  No heart pumping vitality to the rest of my body, no breath releasing old energy and bringing in new.

I've managed to set up distractions so that I don't feel completely useless during the day.

I think if I keep myself busy, the emptiness will go away.

And then it returns, with the setting of the sun and the bedtime kisses.

This is one of those tell tale moments of personal growth.  What I would call a "doozy" of a lesson that's being learned.  And yet I do not consciously know what is being taught.  It's all being done at a level I cannot grasp in this moment.  Like a curtain has been put up to keep me from viewing the scene. 

The only way my body can translate all the "work" that is being undertaken is to tell me that I am tired.  That I need to lay down and rest.  That I need to only concern myself with taking the next breath.

In....Out....In....Out....  Like the ebb and flow of the river lapping against the shoreline.

Just breathe and one day...POOF...I will see what has been learned, I will have the clarity that I pray for.  I will see the light.

One day.

A Time to Give

I have for the better part of 4 years now been self employed.  And of that time I have spent a large portion worrying about finances, wondering how to attract clientele, stressing because nothing seemed to be going my way and struggling with the responsibilities that come with networking and marketing myself as a healer.


Over the past 2 months I have come to realize something very, very important.  That my "business" is not going to flourish just because I have a website, or kick ass brochures or pretty, eye catching business cards.

My "business" is going to flourish because I put my heart and soul into it.

This seems obvious right?

It wasn't to me.

When I look around at the business industry, I see exactly what they want me to see.  The businesses with the big ads on tv, the best marketing campaigns and the ones that spend the most money on advertising seem to do the best.  Therefore, I felt the need to spend every penny I had (which wasn't much) on promoting my "business".  There is a business mentality that you feel you need to follow when you are self employed.  You know the sayings "you need to spend money to make money", "you gotta be one step ahead of the competition".  Those types of things.

side note:  I am putting the word "business" in quotations because I'm not seeing what I do as a "business" anymore.  I am seeing it as a lifestyle choice. 

When I placed emphasis on making money and bringing in business I was miserable and unproductive, constantly feeling like a failure if there was no response.  Which, (no matter how much self promoting I did) sent the wrong energetic message to potential clients and sent them away from me instead of towards me.


Now, when I think of myself as a healer by choice, not by necessity there is a lighter feeling.  And the ideas flow much more freely now that I'm not putting added stress on myself to maintain an unfair standard.

I have recently been guided to give away much of what I have to offer.

As you may have read in another post, this week was Reiki Awareness Week and I treated people to Reiki in exchange for a free will donation (meaning they were free to give a donation or not give a donation).

I have also been guided to offer complimentary Reiki treatments to cancer patients for the month of November.  I wish I would have thought of this last month during cancer awareness month, I suppose it's better to be late than never to offer it at all.

I have created my own calendars, filled with artwork and famous quotes that I will be selling, a quarter of the proceeds will go to the Canadian Mental Health Association.

And I recently held a Reiki awareness evening for free so that I could bring much needed education to my community.


I guess what I am saying is, if you're like me and you've tried everything to build your business, you've spent large amounts of money getting started and haven't seen any progress.  You might want to consider a different approach, if your calendar has holes in it where appointments could be booked, and you lack the clients to fill that space, offer your services for a discounted price or for free.  Or book in a free information seminar to get the word out about what you can offer to your community.

It feels way better to do this than to sit around wondering what on earth your doing wrong and in the end those good feelings are way more beneficial to the rest of the world than the negative ones.