Transformation is a sneaky bugger!

If you were to ask me how I got to where I am I wouldn't have an answer for you.

And to be even more honest, there are multiple days when I wish I would've written some of the stuff I've done down, so I could give someone a bit of a heads up.

But I didn't.  And I can't.

And while we're on the honest train, I don't really think that having written it down chronologically would have helped anyone anyway.  Transformation takes time.  And it happens in your own individual time, in your own individual way.

My transformation probably doesn't look like the next guys because it was made just for little old me.

I've tried over the years to rush my transformation.  There have been many times when I could feel something new coming around the bend and wanting it so badly and wishing that it would just hurry up and get here only to have it take FOREVER to arrive!

(don't you just love run on sentences)

I have an aversion to patience and so I am often found rushing my progress in business and personal relationships as well.  Just to end up totally spent with nothing more to give to anyone or anything.

I find lately that those moments of exhaustion are coming more and more quickly.  It used to take months to catch up to me and now it seems like all I need to do is spend a couple of hours giving too much of my energy to rushing something and I BAM I'm on the couch because my body refuses to move forward.

It hit me the other day as I contemplated how hard I have been pushing myself to 'get somewhere' that my path has already been laid for me.  This is a belief I have held for many years (though sometimes the screams of 'should' are louder than my beliefs).  That everything that I have ever experienced up until this point has prepared me for this moment, just as this moment will prepare me for the next (and so on, you get the picture).  So, is it really necessary for me to 'bust my nuts' over something?  Does it really matter whether or not my website is kickass or not?  Does it really matter that I have no idea where I am heading or where I will be in the next month or so? 

No.  None of it matters.

I look at my husband and his career.  He has seemingly effortlessly risen up the ladder of his profession, has earned the respect of his peers and is constantly being asked to take positions with other companies because they would love to have his expertise on their team!  All he has done (and I say 'all' as if it's not important, but it is really important) is be himself and embrace the passion he has for what he does.

So as far as transformation goes, I think it's a go with the flow kind of process.  That if you are resisting then your transformation is going to come along slowly, like walking through a muddy bog.  But if you are open and trust the flow and the pace at which life is handing you opportunities then things are going to come along nicely.  Maybe not as quickly as you would like (if you are allergic to patience like I am), but it will come along none the less, because it has to.  Life is designed to move, shift and change constantly. 

Unless you are chained to a brick wall your whole life you will transform and it will be amazing and one day when someone asks you how you got there you aren't gonna have an answer for them because transformation is sneaky that way :)

The Summer of Change

Oh my goodness...  First day back to school for the kids...

My mind is flooded with the possibilities for this day, this total silence mom has control of both computers and can play any kind of music she wants day.....

It is certainly a day of bitter sweet celebration.

Where did the summer go?

Yesterday was emotional for my youngest son.  He was in tears over the fact that summer slipped through his fingers and he didn't do anything worthwhile to speak of.

Unless you count the gazillion mechanical robots and cars he created with his lego.  Or the countless NERF gun wars he had with his brothers.  Or the bike rides to the beach, the trip to the cottage and the visits with family and friends.

I have to admit as summer break came to a close I had these same thoughts in my head.  It happens every year really, the urge to make a mad dash to get it all in before the last day falls upon us.

If I look back I can see that the summer was jam packed already.  Maybe not with as many spectacular activities that my son would have preferred, for me it was filled with personal connections and growth.  I learned alot about myself this summer and as I look around at the people in my circle of influence I can see that tremendous changed happened for all of us. 

One friend connected with her truth, another had her second child.  One friend connected with her divine skills as a medium and has been helping people who have been struggling with their grief.  Another friend let go of her feelings that she was unloveable and still another connected with her true passion in business!  And those are just a few mentions!

It definitely was the summer of change and personal growth.

How did it change you?

Always room for change

There are moments in my life that have been undeniably powerful. 

They are unforgettable.

I can remember every moment when a lesson was presented to me and I took the challenge because they are also the moments that my life had been changed forever.

In the beginning of my journey to awareness I would be kind of blind sided by these times.  Not really recognizing them for the precious jewels that they were until all was said and done and I was standing safely on the other side.

Now, I recognize them in the moment.  I can feel it in every cell of my body.  The pivotal moment when everything changes......forever.

I had many of those moments yesterday.

While standing at my Uncle's funeral service, the words spoke straight to my heart.  I could feel a presence that was undeniably divine preparing me for the next "phase" of my journey.  At one point I couldn't help but smile as the feeling of knowing nothing would ever be the same again filled my heart and then my body, one cell at a time.

My uncle had a heart of gold.  He was there with a helping hand before it seemed you even knew you needed one.

He lived his life by the grace of God, had a bold faith in knowing that where he was going was a place of eternal bliss.  He hand selected every aspect of his funeral service to deliver a message to the hearts of everyone in attendance.

The message that was delivered answered my deepest questions and soothed my worries and fears instantaneously.  It gave me a deeper understanding as to why I am on this planet and shone a new light on the things I had either forgotten about or tried to hide in the dark corners of my memory.

I am excited about the upcoming days, weeks and months knowing that something profound has taken place within me.

There is always room for a little change in my life!

What about you?