I Pinky Swear

Just before we were leaving for our last trip to the cottage I was feeling completely worn out.  I felt like I had been running on a hamster wheel and getting nowhere in life and in business.  I was at my wits end, frustrated and not gaining any clarity of which end was up.

As I sat on the dock overlooking the lake one bright sunny day, I contemplated why it was that I was feeling the way I was. 

What could I do to change my situation and bring the fun and excitement back into my life.

I sensed that I wasn't completely off track, that the fun, passion and excitement was still within reach but somehow I had just allowed something else to get in the way of me seeing it.

It was in that moment that I realized I had been controlling every move I made over the past few months.  And in that controlling space I was feeling more and more disconnected to the way I truly love to live.  The control didn't make me feel fulfilled or purposeful, it just made me feel frustrated and tired all of the time.

So in that moment I decided to shift my perspective, I wiped my tears from my face, took a deep breath and pinky swore to God that I would stop controlling everything and just let life happen.

Yes, you heard me correctly.  I pinky swore God....

I looked up at the sky, envisioned a large cloud hand coming down with it's pinky finger stuck out and I saw myself reach up to connect pinky's and affirmed that I was willing to relinquish control over to the one who knows what is best for me. 

FYI:  God LOVES pinky swearing!!!

Since I've been back I've had some amazing 'AHA' moments, creativity has been flowing like water from a tap and I'm feeling energized, renewed and on purpose.

I have had some moments of wanting to step into the control room again (it's habit, what can I say) and it's not long into that moment that God reminds me of my commitment.  He flashes that pinky swear  moment in my mind and I have no choice but to back off and allow life to unfold before my eyes.

Yep, God loves a good pinky swear.

The God Blog....

Trust me, I never would have thought I'd be posting blogs about my relationship with God and Jesus.  But here I am doing just that!

I didn't grow up in a religious family.  I've never read the bible.  As a child I never understood how you could see someone being so loving and graceful in church and then hear them speaking miserably about someone outside of it.

I also believed for most of my life that a relationship with God was impossible for me, because I wasn't doing any of the prescribed activities that would nurture such a relationship.  Sure I am a good person, but I don't give money to a church and I don't dress up on Sundays to sing God's praises.

One thing I did do was pray...  And as the years went on, my prayers grew from asking for things I needed or wanted, to words of thanks and gratitude for all that I had.  And those prayers of gratitude have grown into moments during my day where I recognize a God given gift and celebrate with a happy dance (it's like an explosion of joy and it makes me want to boogy woogy woogy).

And as I developed this inner gratitude, a relationship with my divine father developed as well. 

I want to say it was almost like magic. 

One day, everything just seemed to make sense to me.  I seemed to have a greater sense that yes I am here living this life, but that there was also a greater force driving me towards my dreams and a more peaceful way of living.

To be honest, I think the magic came when I made a decision to stop trying to control every aspect of my life and instead just live and be grateful for that living.

And yes, somedays my life looks like sadness or chaos and somedays it looks like perfection and bliss.

Though whatever it looks like I know that I love feeling like there is someone more wise overseeing the day to day bologne so that I don't have to.  It frees me up to enjoy what is happening in the moment because I no longer have to worry about how I am going to make it all work.

I heard once that God doesn't care what you call Him.  Just that you do!

And today, I believe that with my whole heart :)