I wish I could post this with a 'really bad word' as the heading!

I really wanted to call this post "FUCK!!!!!" 

But I really wasn't sure how that would go over.

So I sweetened it up a little...

Sitting here, right now;  I am overwhelmed.

By what you may be asking?

Well, nothing in particular.  Except the pressure I am putting on myself.

That's all.

The pressure of finding something interesting and delicious to 'uncook' for dinner.

I have recently gone on a 'we need to eat more raw/vegetarian type foods' in the name of my husbands good health and today, I just don't feel like I have the energy to even Google a good recipe!

Plus, all of the good recipes on Google (the ones with the pretty pictures) require sprouted this and sprouted that and other things that I can't even pronounce.  And my black bean & chick pea sprouts aren't ready yet!

Fuck Fuck Fuckety Fuck! ACK!

I want to keep the momentum of this new food revolution going!  I really really really want to succeed...  It's been great to not have to cook anything over the past week (since I really don't enjoy cooking, as is clear by the wilted veggies and burnt meat I serve to my family each night),  it's super easy to throw a few veggies and fruits together in a salad or experimental casserole and hubby is already noticing a change in his body since beginning this endeavour.

As much as I want to keep it going and be successful, it would be so much easier to just throw a box of something on the stove and cook it into oblivion.  For old times sake!

I'm having trouble with the variety.  Presenting something new and exciting at each family meal.

I can see why all the raw vegan websites talk about how difficult it is to maintain this lifestyle and how most people will fail.  I can see my raw food plane going down already and we've only been in flight for a week!

This healthy raw diet is challenging me to change all of my beliefs about how food should be eaten and why.  It's challenging my entire family for that matter (the men think I'm off my rocker - they could be onto something there!) to try new things and have faith that we won't starve just because there isn't KD in the pantry!

In fact, what may be the hardest part about this experience (besides the finding of easy recipes to provide variety) is that the kids are too used to having 'ready to eat' food stocked on our shelves and right now, there isn't any.  There is nothing for them to open up and chew on or microwave.  There's no fast food in this house and it's driving them just as mad as not having a recipe for tonights dinner is driving me!

It's a house of madness.

Watching my 14 year old come into the kitchen, whip open the pantry door and scream "there's nothing to eat in this house"', reminds me of a drug addict going through withdrawals.  I swear if I looked more closely at the boy he'd be shaking uncontrollably.  I reminded him of the plethora of fruits and veggies in the refrigerator and he came back with "it's all just ingredients!  There's nothing to just EAT"

{laugh}

And therein lies the problem....  for all of us! 

Like Martha Stewart....with a twist....

Is it just me or is everyone ready for a change?

Not just a little change.  A big, stinking, your whole world will never look the same again, change!

My hyper-sensitive change radar has been on overdrive the last month and I just can't shake the need to reinvent myself. 

Completely reinvent myself.

Maybe it's my intuition telling me there is something grander coming my way (I do recognize this feeling from other times I've had to totally step up to the plate and take action). 

Maybe it's time to clear the slate and start fresh....

Whatever it is, I feel like I could move to a desert island and never look back.

But that would be running away from the issue and eventually some native tribe would take me in and I'd get tired of them too, then I'd be looking for another deserted island (because clearly the first one wasn't deserted enough for my liking).

If I were to create a recipe for change it might look like this:

2 cups of 'say what you feel, not what you think others want to hear'
1/2 cup of 'give yourself a break already'
1 cup of 'kick those dead weight, negative, time draining people to the curb'
a pinch of 'breathe and relax'
2 TBSP of 'love yourself more than you love others'
1/2 tsp of 'mind your own business'
1/2 cup of shredded 'who gives a fuck what other people think of you'
1 cherry (because every recipe needs a cherry on top)

** I sometimes add a little 'embrace who you are completely' to sweeten it and make it a bit more fluffy, but this is optional until you get the hang of making the basic recipe **

Blend together gently, ease into a greased baking pan and pop that sucker in the oven. 

Serves 1

Is nicely complimented by a huge bowl of double chocolate fudge ice cream.

Calories:  0
Energy:  High and Limitless
Fat:  0 grams

And I thought I couldn't bake like Martha Stewart......  ;)