If only we knew.

Last night I dreamed of my deceased father and uncle.

They were playing with my boys inside what seemed to be a beautiful castle with white walls and fresh light everywhere.  In the middle of the room was a very large pile of gigantic colourful pillows, kind of like large bean bag chairs.  They were jumping and playing and wrestling with eachother ontop of this mountain of pillows, laughing hard.

It was so fantastic to watch this happening and at the same time I watched myself cling tightly to my fathers neck, bawling my eyes out and asking him not to leave me.

He was playing with my kids AND he was with me at the same time.

I knew he couldn't stay with us long.  I knew this was a special visit. 

I don't remember words being spoken, in fact even my pleas for him to stay were non-verbal.

When I woke up and I was sharing the dream with my husband, my eyes teared up and they are doing it again now. 

As I moved through my morning I realized how different I am feeling today.  I am feeling a burst of energy, I feel loved and appreciated and most of all I have a strong sense of my dreams and goals becoming a reality.

Was this his message to me?  To keep moving, have faith, stand strong in my hopes and dreams?  Maybe.

I think this is the message that all of our loved ones who have passed on have for us.  If we only knew the support and love that is flowing into our lives right this minute from a source we cannot see. 

If only we knew.

How would it change your day?  How would it change your plans for the future?  To have this message in your heart from a beloved.

I personally have strong physical support in this world as well, but there is something magical about having unseen forces urge you along your path.  Perhaps even smoothing the road a bit so it is more manageable.

Who in your life have you lost and what do you think they are whispering to you right now?

Death....and stuff....

This morning as I lay dreaming in bed, I was awakened by the sound of my door bell.  Whether it was in my dream or whether it happened in real life, I knew that no one had been at my door at 7:30.  It only rang once and even though I didn't know what the meaning of that was particularly, I could sense with my entire body that it was a sign that a loved one was crossing over.
Cut to this afternoon.

I got a phone call announcing the passing of my Uncle who had been struggling with cancer.

This is of course upsetting news.  And of course I couldn't help but laugh!  Of course not at the fact that a death has occurred, more at the fact that I got to enjoy a visit this morning.  And of course I'm sure the person that was on the other end of the phone thinks I am nuts.

But this kind of thing has happened to me before....  Many times!

When my dad passed away (11 years ago tomorrow), I was in the hospital rocking my restless newborn in the rocking chair when all of a sudden baby snuggled deeply and peacefully into my arms and fell sound asleep, I also felt like I had been hugged warmly in that moment.  My dad.  Come to say good bye (or hello, whatever)!  I tell that story to my son all the time!  It's his favourite and only memory of his grandfather.

Skip to a few years later when my husbands grandmother is transitioning.  The lady with alzheimers in the bed across from her kept asking me what the fuss was about since there were so many people dressed up like there was a celebration going on.  It was only my husband and I with his grandmother at that moment.  She also mentioned the hometown of hubby's grandmother and asked me when the celebration was taking place.  Grandma passed away that same evening.

When my brother took his life, I could feel his presence around me and every question I had with regards to his life's end was answered as though he was standing in front of me having a conversation with me!

For at least a year after my husbands grandfather passed away I could feel him in the backseat of our car (which we purchased from grandma after his passing).

All of these things help me to believe in something beyond what we see with our physical human eyes.  I'm sorry if that makes me look cold and uncaring to some.  I will laugh when I feel like laughing when remembering a loved one (even if I am greeting friends in the receiving line) and I will cry when I feel like I miss them so much my heart will break open. 

But these situations have all helped me to believe that life is to be celebrated, not mourned (although go ahead and mourn if that is what pleases you).  They have helped me to find peace in an unpeaceful time.

My Uncle showed me that you can live life with happiness and joy despite the fact that you are being handed a pink slip!

And that is a life worth celebrating!