Try Being the Observer...

Have you ever tried being somewhere else when you were right where you are?

You may have to read that a couple of times, it's a tongue twisting brain melter of a question.

I experienced this yesterday as I was laying down for a nap.

You see, yesterday was family day.  And it was a gorgeous weather day.  And my house was a mess.  And the dog needed to be walked.  And Ben wanted to go to the mall and 'hang out' or go to the movies and 'hang out'.  And the list goes on and on and on.

The challenge?  I was pooped out and literally felt like if I didn't lay down I would fall flat on my face!

Now, usually I push through this fatigue.  Throw an extra load of laundry in, get the dog out for her walk, take the boy to do whatever it is he wants to do and figure out what to make for dinner hoping to make it to 9pm without falling asleep in my plate of food!

Yesterday was different.  Yesterday I allowed myself an hour of rest time.  Well, it would have been restful had my mind not been juggling all of the things I needed to be doing instead of resting!

As I laid in bed I watched the thoughts swirl, I felt my stomach clench and my heart start to race.

Have you ever been the observer when your mind and body are duelling?

It's quite an incredible thing to witness.

Nowhere had my rational mind given permission to engage in this inner struggle.  In fact my breath was even and deep, I was clearly in a space of observation. 

My subconscious wanted me to stop being so lazy and my rational mind knew I needed to be resting, it felt good to my body to be laying down, snuggled under the warm blankets.  But my subconscious mind was having a hissy fit, the beliefs that are held in my subconscious were telling my body that this is not right, get up and do SOMETHING! ANYTHING!  For God's sake before the world falls apart and your children think you don't love them enough to take them to the mall on Family Day!!!!!

You think this is an exaggeration?  Tell that to my heart!  It was going a mile a minute, like it was up and running a marathon instead of relaxing and resting in a safe cozy place.

In 2.2 seconds my body was in stress mode and any hopes of getting a little snooze were called off. 

My subconscious mind wanted me to be in a place other than where I was and my body was struggling with that expectation because it wasn't happening.

This happens to us all the time without us even knowing what is going on!  Nine times out of ten we are running around blind to the fact that we are being controlled by our crazy subconscious beliefs about who we need to be, where we need to be and how we need to be getting there!

Try being the observer the next time you find yourself in the middle of this inner struggle.  It's worth it to see how incredibly powerful the subconscious is at controlling our every move.

Then once you have observed.  Let it go!  Or better yet, tell your subconscious to beat it!  No one likes an exaggerater!

Monkey See, Monkey Do!

Everything you do, say and think as a parent has a tremendous effect on your child.


I’m sure you’ve heard that before.

If you have a low self esteem, your child will develop that same low self esteem.

It’s been scientifically proven that children who grow up in a home where addictions are present are more likely to adopt addictive behaviours as well.

The same is true if you have a positive, upbeat attitude. Your child will adopt this as well.

My husband and I talk a lot about this in our home.

How does what I am doing and who I am being in the moment affect my boys?

What am I teaching them when I lose my cool or talk poorly about myself?

Can I empower my children to be the best they can be when I settle for the leftovers that life hands out?

My point is that your child learns the most from observing you.

You cannot teach a child how to stand up against a bully if you yourself are being bullied by someone in your life.

I like to remind my clients that their children are reflections of themselves. Our children will show us exactly where we need to do a little tweaking on ourselves. Everytime! They are generous that way.

I need to remind myself constantly of this. As a human being there are lots of things that trigger emotions or keep me from being more present with my kids.

The key is to become more aware of how much time is being spent in being emotionally triggered as opposed to maintaining rational thinking and positivity. The more you keep track of the kind of behaviour you exhibit that is sure to drive you nuts in your own child the more you will naturally shift to what feels better and what will translate into calmer, happier behaviour in your child.

Because just like the old saying goes ‘Monkey See, Monkey Do”.

Gotta love transformation!

Every once in a while you experience a moment where divine truth travels from your head to your heart.

It's in this moment that your heart opens, your eyes water and you realize just how fabulous life really is.

That's what happened last week when I spent time with Heart Power Coach, Rosemary Heenan.  I had booked a session with Rosemary a bit ago when I was in a very desperate place (I joked that she could probably have smelled the desperation in my email requesting an appointment).

Rosemary has a way of opening her heart to you and asking you just the right questions to get you living and breathing your truth.

Topic of discussion:  Self worth and self love.

Since going through my style makeover the day before I was feeling pretty good, I was also sitting in a pool of reality that I really haven't been giving myself any credit for my work as a mother or participant in this game we call life.

Apparently, I'm great at supporting others in their quest to self love but put my own self love needs on the back burner for far too long.

Clarity flooded in when we really broke down the worth and value of being a mother. 

You know the list of duties we perform each day for our families and the cost if someone outside the home were to have to provide services for these duties.

You see, my trouble is that there is no 'monetary' reward for stay at home mothering.  Money pays the bills, money buys you nice things and gets you nice vacations. 

What I had forgotten was the fact that I have been paid many times over in other ways.  Most importantly, my children are wise, healthy, strong, confident, kind and fun!  That feels as great as I'm imagining a million dollars to feel! 

I was also hit with the 'aha' that there is never a time when the Universe isn't rewarding you for your hard work.  There is an abundance of energy that is forever flowing into our lives.  Even when we don't think it is, it is! 

Though, I have always known this in my head (gosh, I've read enough books to know that by now!), I hadn't actually taken it into my heart as divine wisdom or a concept I was going to live by with every breath I took.  To be honest, I knew it existed because I saw it for others but I didn't feel I was worthy of receiving that same abundance. 

Silly girl!

I was fully aware in that moment of clarity that I had closed the door to receiving personal payment from the Universe (that stinky unworthy feeling again), I did become more deeply aware that the Universe still managed to find a way into my home and into my family, helping us to create a life that was magical without my awareness or my permission.

Huh.

That in itself was a tremendous breakthrough and I could feel this new realization, this divine truth travel from my head into my heart where it made itself comfy cozy.  I could feel this energy tingle through my body and I just had to sit there and let it soak in.

Currently my body is processing all the changes I've made over the last few days by handing me a head cold and a feeling of whiplash in my neck and shoulders.

Transformation this deep weaves it's way through your entire body, mind and spirit.

When we live so deeply with our low self worth, the physical body responds to that low self worth through exhaustion, energetic vulnerability and illness.  So it makes perfect sense that when you heal those damaging beliefs about yourself your physical body will respond to that healing, releasing old energy that no longer belongs in your body (aka sneezing, runny nose and the like).

PS - I wanted to ask you.  What is it that you've been denying the Universe access to in your life?  It's waiting there with a cornacopia of abundance and prosperity for anything you need.  What belief are you holding onto that is keeping you from receiving?

The Pain of Growth Spurts

Remember when you were a kid and you were going through a growth spurt?

Sometimes it felt like you didn't fit in your own skin.  Sometimes your bones ached.  Sometimes you found yourself falling over things, clumsy as an ox in a body that was growing so fast it took you a while to readjust your balance.  And if you were a girl the pain of the breasts that were about to blossom was almost unbearable at times!

The truth is whether your growth spurt is physical, emotional or spiritual, they are sometimes painful.

I've been reminding myself of this fact over the last few weeks, as I am once again in the middle of a growth spurt.

I feel like I am visiting this space of internal questioning far too often anymore, like the train of change just keeps on moving and I barely have time to stop for a pee break and grab a snack!

I know I'm not alone.  But at the same time it does feel lonely.

At one time or another we all come across this state of being where we feel like we are stuck in a rut.  I prefer to think of this time as a much needed rest, or that my 'stuckness' is just a way to let life catch up to me :)

Whatever it is though, it just is.  I can change it a bit through music and laughter, I can even shift some of the stagnant feelings with poetry and art but whatever needs to happen in this time is perfect and I just need to practice patience, as well as kindness towards myself.

My belief that I am everything I need to be in every moment keeps me from getting caught up in the craziness.  I know that when this low is over (and it will be shortly) there is going to be a whole lot of high!  And I will be more than ready for it :)